I agree. That's why when she didn't agree to block the number yet, I would have asked why. Sometimes when you hear yourself talking, you realize that you aren't making sense (or commitment).
Her delaying, and talking about "I think about it" is saying to you that she feels she has all the cards. That you want her and she knows it, but she's "evaluating" the decision...
She's cake eating like a greasy pig.
He probably should have said "Don't bother, its OK wont be necessary". She does not expect this, and her ego may hear that response as getting combative, when WE all know it makes complete perfect sense.
my wife seems to be saying that she wants to finally give me a second chance,
Why do you need a second chance, Ken? You are not the one having an affair. What about her? Is she at all concerned if she gets a second chance or not? No, she isn't b/c she has you eating out of her hand.
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she said she want to wait on that.
Well, there you go......I think that answered that.
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I'm hoping that we can get that done this evening.
Don't hold your breath.
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If she agrees to that, I think that is great progress.
I think if she agreed, it would simply be to throw you off guard b/c she is not through with OM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
She wants a free pass Ken, but from the look of your thread here, you are gonna give it to her...
Ken. You get what you pay for and a marriage is no different... she has to EARN her way back in and you are holding the door open pleading with her to dance through...
If she gets IN the marriage again for free she will LEAVE it just as quickly... you have shown her she can COME and GO as she pleases... IF there's no price for leaving, she WILL DO it again.
This guy needs to learn how to play poker - bigtime.
She actually gave me permission to block the OM's phone which I promptly did on all the phones that I could, but we have two cell phones that do not have that feature, so I called the OM's wife to have her block all of our numbers and I think she did. Now the problem is, my wife heard part of the conversation and is mad about it saying I am controlling. Moreover, she still has him on her Facebook and can communicate with him by email. She doesn't seem to want to block those. She seems very upset with me right now.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Make a list of all the things you want blocked and present it all at once. Include a No Contact letter in that deal. Otherwise, she will just appease you to deceive you. I have been there. Ask for complete transparency, so you can learn to trust, not control.
It doesn't seem she is ready for this. Be strong. Nothing less will work.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
So she gets upset at you, so what? You won't die. And, I've never known of a LBH who has died from being called controlling (WAW's favorite name calling). I see it stepping up and taking charge of your family that is being infected with a sinful cancer that will eat away everything it touches if not stopped. God put you over your family as its protector, Ken, and that may appear that you are controlling.....so what?
It is a waste of time to block some of the means of contact and not "all" of them. That was the only reason she agreed to blocking that phone is b/c she knew she had other ways of reaching OM. That's is like her saying she doesn't think you are bright enough to figure that out! Another sign of disrespect.
You are wanting her to sweetly agree with all decisions that is made....but I don't think she is going to be 100% there. She will hold back on part b/c she is not over the A. That is why you must lay down the boundary (and if she calls it controlling...so be it)and she can either respect it or leave.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
