Congrats TIF! You really seem to be working the whole DB things so well. Well done on the Man Job! Hope you`re getting lots of fun stuff done just for you too.
MHL -I was grinning for quite awhile after I fixed that disposal! Even the kids were impressed and my D was looking for things to grind up.:)
Jack - LOL - Kerry might want to use his again sometime soon.:)
FG - Think I am doing pretty well on the whole DB thing overall. Unfortunately, I don't have much time at all to get much fun done for me. Work is keeping me really busy, as is still pretty much carrying the load as far as the kids and the house goes. My H has been helping out with the kids more but work has been keeping him busier these days.
Okay, so trying to wrap my head around something. My H has of course kept us pretty firmly shut out of his life for the past 1- 1 1/2 years. That includes work. Part of his job is his passion and we have not been "welcome" at some of the work Events for a year and a half now. We did go to one a couple months pre-bomb (that last time we went) but he didn't really seem to want us there. He used to ask me to bring the kids by during his busy times so he could see them. Hasn't done that in a year a half.
He has an Event this weekend. He wants us to come. I am still in shock. The kids are thrilled. I thought I would be excited. I feel kind of . . . meh . . . probably because I have some pretty strong walls built. After being his biggest fan for years and then being shut down, it has caused me a huge amount of pain.
This does seem to be a large step forward, though.
TF, Remember, the last mile of the marathon is the hardest to run. I am right there with you....As many positives as I have going on with my W there are the times in between the positives that are hard because you have to let down your wall a little. When we let down our wall, we allow ourselves to become vulnerable. You know there is more pain ahead, the pain reminds us we still love and care for our spouses.
And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:7-10
Originally Posted By: trustingfaith
This does seem to be a large step forward, though.
BIG STEP FOR SURE. Beware though, keep expectations at zero....look for small positives at the event. Do not expect another big step anytime soon. I would even anticipate a small step back, that is the reality of things.
I am so very happy for you.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Going to the event went well. I was nervous but did have my PMA on by the time we got there. I was afraid I might be fighting tears the whole evening but I was okay. I did have a couple moments but did fine.
I definitely felt like we were visitors there rather than a part of it all as we had been in the past, but that was okay. It was probably better that way at this point anyway. The important thing was that he made a big step to invite us back into his world again on some level. The kids were so happy because it was a direct answer to one of their bedtime prayers.
YET believe it or not (okay, believe it, he is MLC), I am seeing once again some "replay" type behaviors I haven't seen for months, especially in regards to trying to look younger again. Some of the teenage clothes have come out again after quite awhile and he has done a couple of things I haven't seen for six months or so. I was quite thrown and unfortunately have let it bother me and bring me down.
It is strange to have such what feels like huge progress only to see him jump back so far again. Fortunately, personality-wise he still feels the way he has been as of late. Sigh. This ride is exhausting.
I just found out something else that my H has not told me about - a pretty big thing, nothing bad at all (actually a good thing) or incriminating, but something else he is still keeping from me, at least so far.
I feel sick to my stomach, partly because I am so tired from so little sleep last night and partly because I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. Yet again.
Trusting Try not to overanalyze everything. As you pointed out you were wrong when you made an assumption. I was/am a chronic over analyzer. Once you let go and just let him go on his journey then you will stop paying attention to the little things. Focus on yourself and your children. I know it is hard to imagine being happy without your h but think of all of the great experiences you can have bonding with your children. Take this time for yourself and your children.
