Took your advice. Just dropped off flowers and a card. She is unable to open her eyes and cannot speak at the moment. My FIL will be up there tomorrow and my W plans on going after work.
On another note what are ur impressions of todays exchage?
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
My advice really is to try to focus on consistent behavior. If you see soemthing happen once or twice, I wouldnt put much stock in it... good or bad.
If you see something happen regularly or something stop for along time that I would consider something to focus on.
Today, I dunno... I would just keep a goin. I think you're doin good... Illness is a time to offer support to your family, when you drop off flowers and they come by and see those you will be doing quite well I think... its a chance to show them both at the same time that you give a damn.
Every Easter my wife and I would at the very least get a card for one another. My wife did not acknowledge our 10 year ann this past January nor did she acknowledge Valentines day. In the past she would had gone all out while I would treat it as "just another day."
So the question is do I get her a card?
My idea is to make the card from the dog. I was actually thinking of a homemade card from the dog which will show my effort and no pressure from me because its from the dog
Or should I just give her a card from me vut in a friendship level.. What you think?
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Do the card for the dog, AND do things for the house. You can buy easter chocolates and put them on the dining table with a happy easter sign... and tell her if anyone comes over they are welcome to them.
You will have to gauge this on your own for the most part. If you do'nt think she will handle the card and gift well then do it for the dog... I wouldn't do anythign to indicate you are just friends, she will take that as you having given up on your marriage... You've been consistently (mostly save for a few setbacks) sending messages you love your marriage and want to save it.. if you give her a card saying 'we're just friends' it will be mixed messages.
This is what your WIFE does...sends mixers... If YOu stay consistent it helps you out.
Again you can always get something for the HOUSE that's easter related...
My idea is to make the card from the dog. I was actually thinking of a homemade card from the dog which will show my effort and no pressure from me because its from the dog
You are kidding, right?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Absolutely not. My wife done the same for Christmas, she loves doing that. Before our other dog passed every year for my B-day she would make a card out from the dog to me. Sometimes she went as far as tracing the dog's paw lol.
So no I am not kidding....
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Yup, divorce-busting is always a tightrope walk... I think you have figured that out already... its not fun in the short, term but it is rewarding.
At the VERY LEAST if you DO end up moving on and find someone else you will know HOW to LOVE by CHOICE and not just be following your impulses... 99% of people moving into a LT relationship and marriage just act on impulse. They love by impulse rather than by choice. And when the impulse is to act selfishly, they just revert to that instead... if you love by choice, there is no fallback.. you keep loving by choice every day for the rest of your life.. and its a great feeling.
I have come to realize this. I always thought no matter how good or bad things got or I got for that matter she was not going anywhere. Up till this all happened I had never seen my W as I do now....its a whole new outllok and whole new kind of love.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
