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dday101798 #1964701 03/22/10 11:55 PM
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You know, the good news is, the skills learned here will put all of us in good stead in future relationships - with our mad-ninja lovers smile

kml #1964706 03/23/10 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted By: kml
...mad-ninja lovers smile
Why does everyone keep calling me, lately?! whistle wink grin


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1965011 03/23/10 01:05 PM
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Coach...once again, great advice.

Key...KEY: THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE HERE. OUR SPOUSE'S CAN CHOOSE TO HAVE A MARRIAGE.

Man...think of how hard and how long we were all at this trying to save this. Even the backslides in the past told them what we wanted. It wasn't in them.

Totally agree Coach. Totally. You are a fortunate man to be able to have a person want to stay in a committed marriage. It IS a choice.

What my view on this is now: if...if...I were a millionaire, my STBXW would be feigning happiness and 'banging away' on the outside as the years went on.

Well, LOLOL, JMO.

I'm OK, right now, and just need to get this done. We have reached our rope with this stipulation and they had better get it done. I've caved on a lot of financial stuff. STBXW should cave on stupid legal lingo. As my atty wrote to her atty yesterday, keeping a 75% 'finders keepers' clause "only leads to further acrimony and future legal action." I love my L.

Now...ninja sex...where were we........

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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Originally Posted By: kml

You know, the good news is, the skills learned here will put all of us in good stead in future relationships - with our mad-ninja lovers smile


Care to share with us what skills you were lacking that you now acquired? LOLOL. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,035
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Recent comments from our 9 year old:
-"Dad, maybe D6 can live with mom and I can live with you."
-"Dad, you always come in and talk with me and cuddle me at night. Mom only kisses me and leaves."
-"You're definitely the more fun."

I don't post this as a 'ha ha', etc. Only to show that my son see's that I love him and I can see that he loves me.

I know that our relationship, at least right now, will endure (heaven knows what teenagerhood will bring). He will have a tough time of this at first. I pray that his adjustment will not cause him too much pain.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 9,762
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FIB,

That is so beautiful that your son has an open, loving R with you. It's something to treasure.

Now teenagerhood......that's another subject! I have a 15 year old. Granted, he's special needs but he is intelligent in the extreme and has been expanding his social skills at a rapid pace since entering high school. The best advice I can give you is to stay completely involved in your kid's lives. Make your home the place that all of their friends want to come to hang out. Make it warm, inviting, strict but not stifling, and fun. That way you stay connected to their friends and know what is going on the majority of the time.

I never wondered why my parents always volunteered to drive the car pool with my friends. Now I know it's because we talked openly and freely in front of them while in the same car as if they weren't even there. It was the closest to being a fly on the wall as they could get and they LOVED it. In high school when so many people I knew were avoiding their parents and getting into trouble, my friends and I were actually wanting to hang out with our parents. We knew where the money was...don't get me wrong we had our ulterior motives, but we always had fun with them because they made it so.

Do that for your kids. Show them how adults should act to counteract the childish, cold behavior of your xw.

You will be a great success! I just know it!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

mishka422 #1968608 03/27/10 11:24 PM
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The horror continues:

STBXW wants to stay in the house until it is sold/closing. She also wants me to pay child support while she lives in the house, i.e., I am paying all the bills.

Both L's met last this week (STBXW and I were adjourned since I had surgery). The judge was fed up and scheduled trial for July 15th.

OMG...I really can't take this anymore. STBXW's L is also threatening to file a motion for me to pay MORE LEGAL FEES for STBXW. If I commit to signing this while I still have to carry the house, I will be agreeing to be a deadbeat dad. I won't be able to make those payments while carrying the house.

Men/dads....get f'd here.


FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,041
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Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
Men/dads....get f'd here.


They don't just get f'd there...they get f'd in Oklahoma too!

These WAS's have such a sense of entitlement, and are unbelievably selfish, and often downright mean!


"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
antlers #1968627 03/27/10 11:48 PM
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Frank, I am at a loss for words....I am so, so sorry. Hope that at least your surgery wasn't too bad and you are physically healing well.
Are you going to still share the house until the new trial date?

If it does go to trial, I certainly hope that you get to have your say, at this point.

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Not sure why she would do this. If it goes to trial, she loses any share on the house.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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