No one has yet shown me how I can enforce boundaries legally.
What do you mean? What is it you have WANTED to do, but couldn't, because it was illegal?
Sorry Ken, but I call "B.S." on this. Show me where YOU have wanted to do something strong . .. firm . . . but simply COULDN'T, because it was illegal.
The fact is, YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO, because you're afraid to stand up to your wife.
I couldn't legally "kick her out". I did have had her sleep on the sofa for awhile. What else can I do other than ignore her and go about my business? It's not so much that I am afraid to stand up to her, but I am more afraid that I might lose her for good by doing something stupid that I will regret.
Ken, youc an't force your wife to be faithful to you by law, there are NO LAWS against cheating in most of the US and throughout canada...
This is left to be governed by church organizations, family therapiss, and by individual conscience.
I understand there are a few states that penalize a spouse for cheating in family court and such, but by and large romantic and sexual commitments to one's spouse are not enforceable by law...
Note I am not a lawyer, this is just the info I have gathered
Boundaries need to be managed by you here, not by the court.
I couldn't legally "kick her out". I did have had her sleep on the sofa for awhile. What else can I do other than ignore her and go about my business? It's not so much that I am afraid to stand up to her, but I am more afraid that I might lose her for good by doing something stupid that I will regret.
if you continue to let her disrespect you, you WILL very likely lose her for good... she's subconsciously testing your commitment and manhood here...
Let me put this at another angle here for Ken ok pup?
Ken have you ever played Poker? Five Card Draw, Five Card Stud, Holdem is the most popular right now..
Basically your wife is RAISING you when she starts an affair.
YOU need to show her you have a hand here that she shoudl NOT be challenging... if you can't bluff her or GET some leverage someplace you have to fold your hand, and the marriage.
So you need leverage to persuade her to show her commitment.. the first item of leverage is just asserting yourself.
You don't ask her to stop cheating, you tell her you KNOW she is and you pack her things FOR her... show her you MEAN BUSINESS
You have kids yes? Do you think she will walk out on them? If you think she won't ever do that then this whole affair thing is a BLUFF.. CALL her on it by packing for her.. tell her she can have him or she can have her husband and kids... tell her to pick up the bag and go... see what she does...
The one I gave someoen else here, about telling his wife that he had a tool on her computer to log every conversation she had and every website she went to... that as well was a bluff... he didn't even have her password to install anything
No one has yet shown me how I can enforce boundaries legally
WHAT????
Then perhaps you should go back and read your first thread. If I remember correctly, you were given quite a bit of information about boundaries and I asked you more than once to talk to a lawyer or police officer to see where you stood about throwing her out, RO against OM, etc. Besides, it doesn't have to be something involving legal actions. I am talking about personal boundaries in the way she walks all over you. That is what I'm talking about!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
It's hard, when someone's begging for someone on the board to tell them exactly what to do, and your advice to them is to stop letting other people tell them exactly what to do.
Too damned many people on here lately looking for OTHER people to do their dirty work for them. THESE ARE YOUR MARRIAGES, PEOPLE!!!
