Are you sure it's not a roundabout way to open up R talk?
If you are sure, then it's her "cake eating."
My W's mom has a trailer at a campground and last summer, for the first time since the kids were born, I didn't go down. I was specifically banned by W.
Problem is W and her mom aren't strong swimmers and like to just sit around on the deck or beach. I was always the one out playing in the water.
So the girls missed me and asked about this summer. I told them I'd come down if W asked me. To me, it's just about spending time with them.
But a whole week? No. I wouldn't do that either.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
"Family" time? Is she kidding. She really lives out "where the buses don't run"! She doesn't seem to get the devastation she caused, and the emotional heartache she caused you. Why doesn't she bring her new "friend" so you can have "extended, blended,upended family time"?
Wii - that is crazy! She is keeping you in Limbo and "cake walking" for sure. She left the family. That means it is no longer a complete family.
My best advice is to distance yourself further. Spending time in a "mock" family situation is not only very unhealthy for you - it also sends a weird message to your girls. They are most likely struggling enough with all this.
You will never move forward as long as she is keeping you on a bit of a leash. You need to make a vacation plan with the girls on your own. One that does not include their mother. She sounds like one very controlling woman who wants 2 men. My guess is that she is extremely insecure and will likely end up with No One!
A few of us are planning on seeing a show at Western Connecticut State University in Danbury this Saturday at 8PM. Gardner's son, (a professional actor), is in it.. and it will make for a fun evening. Let me know if you're interested!
It'd be great to hear your sense of humor in person!
OOPS! I guess I should read my thread more often! Unfortunately free time is nonexistent these days. Keeping a lot of balls in the air, and fumbling them often.
I've never seen anyone as controlling as STBXW! A couple of weeks ago, you may all recall that S12 was with me, and asked me to sign a test.
I forgot, so when he asked STBXW to sign it the next morning when I dropped him off, she flipped out on him saying "I won't be screwed over like this" (Huh?) ,and refused to sign the test because "it was a homework assignment that he was responsible for ON MY WATCH".
As you may recall, I stopped before work to sign the test, so S12 wouldn't stress out. I called her the night before and asked her if she was kidding. All she could say over and over and over was "Was it or was it not a homework assignment!" (What's the frequency, Kenneth!).
A week later, STBX texted me and said "Please do not call S12 or text him after 9PM. If it's an emergency, please go through me". Are ya' kidding?
Two weeks ago, I was away at Reserves. It was S12's birthday on Saturday. I texted him Happy Birthday at 5AM, then went into a windowless building the rest of the day. I called S12 at 6PM, as I knew he would be on his way home from his hockey game. We talked for a couple of minutes then I asked to speak with D17, who was in the car as well. She talked for about 30 seconds and said about three times "I have to go! I'll call you in a few minutes!" (What?)
Se called back, and I asked "What was going on?" She said "Mom made me hang up because there was not enough conversation going on in the car among the family" (Huh?)
D17 then called back and asked "What took you so long to call S12 to wish him a happy birthday?" I KNEW THIS WAS STBX TALKING.
I asked D17 if she was the spokesman for the committee that decided when I should/should not call S12, and what my allotted window was, where I wouldn't be scolded. She immediately got it.
The latest eruption was the other night. STBXW and S12 got into an argument because her best freind had given S12 an American Express gift card for $50 for his brithday.
S12 asked STBX if he could put the $50 toward an XBox for my apartment (I live on the 9th floor of a city apartment, where he is kinda confined when he's with me, so there's nothing to do).
She responded "No. That card was given to you by my friends and you may not spend it on anything that doesn't stay in my house" (This is a no sh&t story!)
As you recall, she will also not let D17 use the Jeep that her "Smarmyparamourscumbagbossthatsheshavinganaffairwith" purchased for my daughter, if it in anyway benefits me. I have to take D17 to work and pick her up, take her to friends houses, etc. when she is with me, while the stupid Jeep sits unused!
Understandably, S12 got upset, and according to him told STBX "That's stupid", at which point, she threw a plastic bowl at S12, barely missing his head.
She then went to the computer table, and threw his books on the floor and screamed "Clean this crap up and then go to your room!"
She then did her usual act of storming out of the house and not returning for an hour or so. She used to put wine in a plastic bottle and go to the beach, drink the wine and smoke cigarettes!
There really ARE some marriages that can't or should be saved. It's hard to believe that four years later, I believe she did me the biggest favor of my life. I DO feel sorry for my kids!
I wonder if that's our future -- at least a little bit.
W is very insecure and always would get upset when people liked me more. I'm a reporter for a living. I'm good at asking questions and starting conversations. W is reserved and uptight in social situations.
She's said on a couple of occasions that it upsets her that "I'm the fun one" with the girls and that they "like my style" better. I try not to get upset or yell. Look, I'm not perfect. I fail at that. My temper is one of my biggest weaknesses. But when I compose myself I apologize and they know I'm working on it.
So I worry down the road that she'll start pulling crap like FLTC's ex. But I'll just have to wait and see.
FLTC, aren't your kids old enough to decide who they want to live with?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
FLTC, I've been a silent lurker for a while since G-Woman speaks so highly of you.
Originally Posted By: FLTC
Gypsy,OOPS! I guess I should read my thread more often! Unfortunately free time is nonexistent these days. Keeping a lot of balls in the air, and fumbling them often.
Glad you're keeping a lot of balls in the air - all good, I hope.
I almost chimed on the day of your "going Connecticut Chimp" comment; almost fell out of my chair with that one!
Time for me to de-lurk: I've enjoyed your humor and benefited from your common sense.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Re. the birthday gift your son received. I wonder what the gift giver would think about the restrictions her friend is putting on the gift. Unbelievable!!! When I hear stories about your STBXW it makes my ex look like a Saint!
