Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 11
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
I also have attention issues, can you tell? wink

A little "stuff that worked for me" journaling:
1. Most important - Keeping my sense of humor about the situation and life in general.
2. NC is all about making HIM come to me, on MY terms. He's currently coming to me via text, I want the phone calls. I also want to be invited to share in his life (a date or family outing with HIS money for once)
3. Good friends - to go out with, to stay in with, to hug.
4. Staying busy
5. Trying new things - who would have thought I would enjoy guitar so much, or GOLF for that matter?


Me: 26
Ex: 27
Son: 5

Divorced: 3/2010
Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
Just found out there's a new OW. Freaking out, trying to get a grip. Stupid roller coaster.


Me: 26
Ex: 27
Son: 5

Divorced: 3/2010
Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 310
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 310
Originally Posted By: Cautious
I'm both getting excited and irritated at the same time. NC is hard because it is the exact opposite of what I've done in the past. But it's working, and that's exciting.

Just got a text: "You alive?" I'm tempted to squeal.


Cautious I had to LOL when I read this. That made my day.

I could only dream of getting that response from my XW.

I will probably never be at that stage post-divorce so I have no clue how I would respond. Might do the same thing you did. Maybe relish in it. We are human after all.

Like you, journeling has also helped me. I dont know why but putting in on type has always helped me to deal with things. Thats probably why my posts are so long winded.

It will be interesting for me to read my journal years from now and see what emotions it brings. Dealing with the hardest part of your life you almost have to record it somehow. I may even delete it as a final detachment but right now I value it as a reminder of a hard learned lesson.


Me:48
W:55
M:22
T:23
Bomb:19Nov09
S:15Jan10
D:11Feb10
EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10
Fast track to her divorcing me
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 310
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 310
Originally Posted By: Cautious
Just found out there's a new OW. Freaking out, trying to get a grip. Stupid roller coaster.


OMG! ((Cautious)). Im so sorry.

I was just online when you posted this. Damn!

Are you certain that she is a threat? Maybe just a friend? Has your XH changed towards you? Your last post looked like he was intersted in you again.


Me:48
W:55
M:22
T:23
Bomb:19Nov09
S:15Jan10
D:11Feb10
EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10
Fast track to her divorcing me
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
I am certain it is a romantic interest in some fashion. That's why he needed the haircut - he's going to take her out for the first time soon.

It's not that he's disinterested in me, just that he's doing what he said he was going to do (and what I vowed not to do) - finding someone he wants to be with that's not me.

I guess the best way is to explain why I am NOT dating: S5. Simple as that. I did date a bit. It felt wrong, but I did it anyway. I convinced myself I deserved to be with someone who loved me. But in the end, S5 was seeing less and less of mommy. And he suffered. No, I WILL be there for my son and will not be distracted by a romantic interest. Nor will I put S5 in the position of deciding whether or not to call new man "Daddy". Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I just have to ride out ExCautious's storm right now, but I am pi$$ed that he's been talking to OW all day instead of spending time with his son.


Me: 26
Ex: 27
Son: 5

Divorced: 3/2010
Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
I'm sorry to hear that there is a new OW... I know that has to be difficult for you. Is she someone serious?


Me-32
W-29
No kids
ILYBNILWY 11.20.09
Separated 01.10.10
Discovered EA 01.13.10
W admitted to PA 02.21.10
I filed for D 03.09.10
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
I'm so sorry. It makes sense your not wanting to date. It is crappy that he is chasing a piece rather than being with his son.


Me-32
W-29
No kids
ILYBNILWY 11.20.09
Separated 01.10.10
Discovered EA 01.13.10
W admitted to PA 02.21.10
I filed for D 03.09.10
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
Not yet. But with him, it will probably quickly become serious. He has low self esteem and will cling to her.


Me: 26
Ex: 27
Son: 5

Divorced: 3/2010
Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 154
That sucks. I feel like that's kinda one reason why my W has clung to OM too. She likes to portray herself as positive and strong but deep down I think she is very insecure.

Why couldn't we help them overcome these issues? Why wouldn't they gives us a chance? It makes no sense.

On a side note - I like your list above. I feel like I've lost my sense of humor some because of my sitch. I'm trying to get it back.

Last edited by Quart9; 03/14/10 01:39 AM.

Me-32
W-29
No kids
ILYBNILWY 11.20.09
Separated 01.10.10
Discovered EA 01.13.10
W admitted to PA 02.21.10
I filed for D 03.09.10
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 188
Did something stupid, he's going to know it's me. Blast me.


Me: 26
Ex: 27
Son: 5

Divorced: 3/2010
Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
Page 5 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 11

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard