LOVE "Old Man" by Neil Young!! I have it on my iTunes, along with a few others of his, including the one from "Philadelphia," which is just plain haunting.
An interesting convergence of all this is that I had always thought I'd play "Old Man" at my Grandfather's funeral when he died. Anyway, he died back around 8 years ago, but we had just had our first child (my son), and subsequently my W told me she didn't want to live with me anymore and got her own apartment (first WAW episode in my M). She ended up giving up the apartment and coming back after only a matter of weeks, but I was such an emotional wreck over the whole thing I didn't have any chance to prepare to play at my Grandfather's funeral, and so I didn't. I've always regretted that. In my head I thought of that last night and played for him.
Yeah, as my own fog is lifting, I'm seeing what a drama filled, roller coaster, emotionally draining experience my M was most of the time. My W hated being M to me, for reasons I don't fully understand. She pursued me like crazy, pushed to get married, pushed to get a new house (I had a house when we met, but it was too modest for her I guess), pushed to have kids, spent money like crazy, insisted on getting a nanny and maid we couldn't afford, and then hated all of it, had an A and left me. I was an emotional punching bag for her, and I'm realizing much of my own stress, crabbiness, and depression was in reaction to her. Right after our son was born she sent a letter to my Mom, without my knowledge, thanking her for raising such a fine man, and saying how great I am and how much she loves me. Less than three months later she was moving out and threatening divorce because I was intolerable as a H. What the ???? Such was my life during our M.
As I'm embracing my life now, pursuing my own interests and passions, hanging with people who really like me, and getting the attention of some pretty impressive ladies, I look back on those years and wonder why I tolerated it. I blame myself somewhat, as I think my W really needs man who will call her on her crap. I don't consider myself weak, but when faced with aggressive, selfish, emotional, irrational behavior, I just wonder "Why are you acting this way?" rather than putting my foot down. I grew up with two brothers and no sisters, and my Mom is a rock, so I wasn't exposed to much extreme female behavior.
It's still continuing. My W, who has now left me, and is living on MUCH less money than we had together, has already promised the kids all sorts of stuff. Disneyworld trip, a new dog and cat, a new house in a nice neighborhood, a horse for our youngest D when she turns eight, a dirt bike, etc, etc, etc. She has gone on four international trips in the last year. She's continually getting her hair and nails done. Her Mom and I just shake our heads in wonder.
My wife did the same things too. She wrote me a card a month before she d'd me saying how great I was. Pushed for the house, kids, and even talked about getting a cleaning service! spooky. You sound like you are doing real well now, keep doing it!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I've now crossed into the bizzaro world. I needed to get some addresses for some kids in my son's class to send out birthday party invitations. My son chose to have his party at my house, so I'm in charge of it. I called my W to see if she had the addresses, and she playfully said "If you bring over a bottle of red wine, you can have them." I replied "No thanks, I'll just take them over the phone."
1) She's testing your resolve to see if you're really done with her. 2) She just caught wind of the fact that there is an OW in your picture. Her jealousy button was pushed.
I liked your response.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I think it's number 1, although maybe it's number 2, if someone she knows saw my lady friend and me out and about. We were surrounded by tens of thousands of others at the basketball game, and we were acting very friendly and having a lot of fun. Perhaps someone she knows saw us. Or maybe simply the kids told her that I had them stay at Grandma's house overnight while she was gone on her trip. Ha!
