Keep Moving Forward

[givingitmyall]

Needed to start a new thread, so here it is.

Been up and down a good bit lately. Trying to get off that cycle, but it has been a challenge lately.

So, at this point, I just have to gut it out and make a conscious decision to keep picking myself up and moving forward. Hence, the title of my new thread.

[mulesqb]

Perfectly normal bro. You have watched the deterioration of your family as you knew. My IC told me it was grieving the M. Recognize what triggers your downtimes and learn from them. Don't run from them. Learn from them.

Gima, you're a good man, you will get through this. Don't beat yourself up over anything. You tried and continue to try and save your M and family. There is nothing on this planet more admirable. Give yourself some credit. Give yourself a break. Give yourself some quality time. Let your W go. She needs to do this. You'll be fine either way. Time will help you feel better. I know it sucks. But when you fight through all of it, you will be a strong, confident guy. Her problem if she doesn't see your good qualities. She'll regret it someday. Maybe it will be too late, maybe it won't. Get busy living bro.

Strength and Honor.
You can handle this.

Mules

[givingitmyall]

Thanks man. Weird that I feel my mind is battling my emotions. My mind sees what I must do very clearly. But, those damn emotions. Just have to get the mind stronger than the emotions. And I will, with time.

[chatterbug]

GIMI keep climbing my friend

[Greek]

Needed to start a new thread, so here it is.

Been up and down a good bit lately. Trying to get off that cycle, but it has been a challenge lately.

So, at this point, I just have to gut it out and make a conscious decision to keep picking myself up and moving forward. Hence, the title of my new thread.

Sounds like marathon time. Pound a little past out on the pavement??? Nothing like some good, long runs to put it all behind you, friend.

Cheers ~
Greek

[givingitmyall]

Thanks Greek. Would have done just that tonight, but I decided to come home early and take S to baseball practice (he told me yesterday that W takes him late to all his practices). But, I will get a run in tomorrow.

I think I should pick out a half marathon to do around Thanksgiving or December. Always good to have a goal.

[Looking_For_Help]

Hey GIMA,

It has been a while my friend. I've been focusing on the kids and my self the last two months...so I haven't been around this board very much. We see the judge in a few weeks, so my divorce may soon be final. I have accepted my fate and have been progressing forward.

Now for you: Let your emotions flow. Don't hold them back. It's the only way to heal. In time you'll be in a better place. Hang in there.

Kind Regards,
LFH

[givingitmyall]

Good morning folks (or afternoon or evening depending on where you are).

Busy day at work yesterday. Finally had a run in with one of my female co-workers. Unfortuantely, this female co-worker has had similar arguments with numerous other people in our office. Honestly, this person has some serious insecurities and issues, and she often brings them to work and takes them out on many of us. Surprisingly, I am officially higher up on the org chart so to speak than she, but this doesn't seem to concern her since I am not the first person higher in rank than she with whom she has picked an argument. Nothing I can't handle. Just added some "spice" to the day.

Got home last night and had fun snuggling up with D6 and hanging out with S10. I virtually ignore W, so she has now taken to "talking" to me through the kids. For example, I sneezed last night - W, who used to tell me "bless you," asked S10 what we did when someone sneezed. S10 replied we say bless you.

If you want to D me, why must you continue to try to "talk" to me? This is something you will lose as a result of the D. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. "Friends" do not do what you are doing to me and our family, W. I will never understand how the WAS believes we will all remain best friends after what they put their LBS's and families through. I understand WHY they do it. I just don't understand how they can cling to such an unreasonable belief.

As I sat in the den with the kids - W was making cookies to sell to one of her clients (basically in the same room - kitchen is part of the den/great room), I found myself growing angrier with her. It's the way she can act no differently than before the bomb - as if we are one big, happy family unit that will not be affected by her decision to rip that apart. And that makes me very, very angry. Rather than say anything, I hit the bed early.

So, this morning, I am a bit numb, indifferent and dismissive of W. All I see at this point is a completely selfish, irrational, arrogant person who is utterly unattractive to me on so many levels. But, strangely, I still hold open the possibility of working on the M if she were willing to "do the work." Maybe that's my irrationality coming out. Or hope. Or dream. I don't know.

If she...Screw it. She hasn't and apparently will not. And only SHE can make that decision. If she only knew how much we could do for each other in a new, healthy M and how much we could help the kids by doing that. As much as I want to SHOW her that, I can't. She has to do that. But she won't.

[jasper67]

You are doing well- keep being the best father you can be. You cannot control how you are feeling, just let them wash over you but keep positive.

I know how it feels to start to be angry and lose respect for WAW. I too know the difficulty or implausability of remaining "friends" who choose the back door and easy way out.

You do need to give yourself credit- you are a survivor and are striving for something better- never lose that attitude!

[Gardener]

gima,

Got home last night and had fun snuggling up with D6 and hanging out with S10.

You're a real good dad (have I said that before?)

I virtually ignore W, so she has now taken to "talking" to me through the kids. For example, I sneezed last night - W, who used to tell me "bless you," asked S10 what we did when someone sneezed. S10 replied we say bless you.

At least it's disguised as reminding your son. And at least it hasn't hit that unacceptably childish level of "Please tell your father that..."

gima, you and I both know that the WAW has to cling to their "friends" issue to minimize and justify the enormity of their selfish behavior.

It's the way she can act no differently than before the bomb - as if we are one big, happy family unit that will not be affected by her decision to rip that apart.

See above. But I understand. Believe me I understand. My big blended family has already been - is - completely torn apart - gone! -and still she is in la-la land.

I still hold open the possibility of working on the M if she were willing to "do the work." Maybe that's my irrationality coming out. Or hope. Or dream. I don't know.

Or all three. But you do know that if something like that were to to take place, it would have to be done while she concurrently does her own work with an IC.

If she only knew how much we could do for each other in a new, healthy M and how much we could help the kids by doing that.

I'm finding that that truism takes a long time to go away. And it's so painful for me because it would have! But I, like you, was "the only one at the table in good faith," as my IC says.

Hang in there and enjoy the gifts of this day.