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TrentC #1934304 02/09/10 07:23 AM
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Originally Posted By: TrentC
forgiving someone means you are giving up the right to seek retribution for the harm they did to you


I know this... it is funny how God can instantly heal the heart...

I feel good right now at this moment... I have prayed over your words Trent... more pain has been lifted.

Thank You

shocked


Me 43 / W 40
T 29 / M 15
S-18
11/4/09-ILYBINILWY
11/10/09-Separated
12/1/09-W admitted EA
12/5/09-W admitted PA
12/24/09 W say "I love you"


"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
patpat #1934305 02/09/10 07:25 AM
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Lotus...

Part of my brain was broken... not thinking right.

Trent has fixed it.... no splaining to do now... just forgiving!


Me 43 / W 40
T 29 / M 15
S-18
11/4/09-ILYBINILWY
11/10/09-Separated
12/1/09-W admitted EA
12/5/09-W admitted PA
12/24/09 W say "I love you"


"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
patpat #1938140 02/14/10 06:03 AM
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Hey Guys....

patpat has been absent. I am home today, thought I drop in and update....

Been working alot mostly. Hangin with friends and running the streets. Meeting people and laughing alot of late.

Past Thursday W (in her new apartment with OM) had a drug episode and OM did not like it. W freaked at OM's reaction. Lucy has some splaining to do!!!

I guess she never told OM.

W called me Friday apologizing for all the crap she has put me thru past 2 years and says she now knows that my efforts to help led to most of our prob's because she was choosing drugs over R and the BS that came with it.

W stated she did not want to mess up job, or overdose and die. Stated she had some fixing to do in her life and R was one of them. Hmmmmm.....

What to do?

I told W that she had a lot of healing and personal growing to do. That I did not want her back because she had a hard time financially, or OM left her, or she had feelings of loss etc.... that only when she was clean, sober and stable would I consider, and that would be a big if, because I have changed as well.

I told W I wanted D. That maybe down road things could and would possibly be better for us and we could consider things at that time. W did not say but I think W is still with OM. I did not ask.

I am weighing my options and am thinking about filing myself. Prob. will...

W says she is holding off on D. It would be up to me.

I have a lot to think about....





Last edited by patpat; 02/14/10 06:04 AM.

Me 43 / W 40
T 29 / M 15
S-18
11/4/09-ILYBINILWY
11/10/09-Separated
12/1/09-W admitted EA
12/5/09-W admitted PA
12/24/09 W say "I love you"


"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
patpat #1947751 02/27/10 10:29 AM
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I will be filing in March. I have decided to D.

Thanks for all the support guys.... I love you all


Me 43 / W 40
T 29 / M 15
S-18
11/4/09-ILYBINILWY
11/10/09-Separated
12/1/09-W admitted EA
12/5/09-W admitted PA
12/24/09 W say "I love you"


"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
patpat #1947902 02/27/10 08:29 PM
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(((pat))))

please don't be a stranger...


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
patpat #1947917 02/27/10 09:13 PM
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I can understand your choice patpat. I wish you peace on this journey.


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
patpat #1948366 03/01/10 12:02 AM
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((((PatPat)))......take care, friend.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #1948408 03/01/10 01:40 AM
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I just read your entire thread, and I am so happy for you!

These WAW's are real pieces of work, aren't they? I always love the part where they drag out all of their "unhappiness" to beat the LBS over the head with, just so they can use that as an excuse when they decide they want to bang some OP. It is just so interesting to me that the only antidote for "unhappiness" is some other guy's penis.

And here you were, telling us that you were the biggest @sshole in the world during your marriage (which I highly doubt, by the way) and you were married to an addict. How lovely for your son to have to witness Mom's ridiculous behavior.

I hope you ran like the wind to a good D atty. You deserve so much better, and I hope you hook up with that nice lady you told us about. You know, the one your w went batsh!t over?

Godspeed, PatPat. You are an inspiration!

Kimmie Lee #1951061 03/04/10 01:09 AM
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Hey Pat...just checking in on ya!! Hope you are well. hope that you stop by from time to time. Kimmie lee is right...YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!!


Me: 28
H: 32
1st marriage 4 both
1 1/2 year married
2gether for 9
1S: 6months
1stepson: 2yo
4luv #1954159 03/08/10 07:58 PM
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Hey Pat, no need to rush off... there's a forum here called "Surviving the Big D" ... start up a thread over there.


M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married
4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
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