ugh...today feels blah...was wearing new tank top and PJ bottoms when WH arrived. He is in a very good mood; very chatty. Saying stuff like "this year for the yard, I'll just put timers on the sprinklers.Next year we can install the sprinkler system"
"S is going to have a great life! Yes you will be a happy boy!" (right- cuz his life was so fabulous growing up in a broken home...so wtf?)
When he has been talking he has used lots of "we we we" stuff (we went there for Halloween remember? we have that tool in the garage. when we made that recipe we used)
do not feel like working out- feel light headed! want to sleep... go away WH! get the hell out of here! how can you just live peacefully in limbo? arghhahahahh losing it!
Last edited by newmama; 02/28/1010:11 PM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Mf- I think I was starved more for the compliment about how I looked than being carded!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hey NM! Give yourself a break! It's ok to have a blah day...you are always so upbeat and cheerful!!! I think the "we" talk is good thing isn't it? Better than "I". "WE" did this and "we" will do that...hang in there!!!! You are doing great!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I must tell you NM that I have been reading your posts and you are amazing. Your optimism and perseverance are inspiring. I really can relate to your strategy. Patience and time. That's my plan. BTW I think that when they use "WE" it's positive, however at the same time I can understand your frustration with what you may think is lack of progress. You are on the right track, believe.....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Hi, Mila! Thanks for coming out of the dark, lol! And thank you too CW...
Ok I am all right now- phew! I actually did stop exercising, took a nap, and read parts of Divorcebusting to re-motivate myself. Now I am better! I'm glad I didn't let WH see me like that- my DB coach says to leave if you are feeling grumpy or depressed so they don't see it.
WH stayed upbeat, talked a lot about working on the yard, getting the chainsaw out (started reading the manual) and tried to play with both S and I.
The book reminded me that progress may be slow, and the signs may be little but they still count- so if we see some changes, keep noting them and see if they culminate to something big! Also, if what I am doing is working (meaning delaying the divorce) than I am supposed to keep doing it! But the book did remind me that I should be giving some positive signs or "throwing him a bone" every now and then because it will create a chain reaction.
I decided that from now on, I will greet him with enthusiasm and say goodbye with meaning, lol! I noticed today when he came in, I said "Hi!" (like I was happy to see him) and he lit up and said "hi!" right back.
I had some other thoughts but need to tend to S- however I had good news because I put on my size 14 jeans and they fit!! Yay-I will be able to wear my 12s in another 15 pounds!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
holy moly- I turn on the TV and apparently TLC has a new show called "Your Kid Ate What?" This will freak me out... but I think they could also make a show called "Your spouse did What?"
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
So my other thoughts. As I was re-reading Divorcebusting, I saw the section on goals. I don't think I have ever set any! I mean some for myself, but not for what I want WH to do or say. So I need to think about that...
and I was feeling kind of numb when I pictured WH one day saying he made a mistake and wanted to come back. I know I love him, but shouldn't I feel butterflies thinking of that? Instead I feel absolutely NOTHING! I wonder how long it would take for my body to feel again?
Well I am probably going to sign up for golf lessons again. This course by my house sells 4 one hour group lessons (ladies only) for a total of $39! It is to get women to golf! I went a couple of years ago but WH and I only went once after that. He is a decent player (I must admit it is a turn on to see him swing that club on the driver's range! Maybe that is what I should picture when I want feelings for him to return to my body, lol!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
WH arrived, I greeted him warmly (in my new tank top and PJ bottoms), he gave me big smile. I got busy looking up recipes to make a grocery list and then started cleaning stove in kitchen. WH was very chatty and I swatted his arm at one point because he said something funny (but I won't repeat it here!). I actually was the one to leave the locations where he was...and he actually came and found me when he wanted to tell me something!
I went upstairs to put away laundry, came down to work out, posted on here (was feeling low for some reason), then took a nap instead of working out but felt LOTS better! Got dressed,did toned down make up and hair, wore low cut blouse with flattering jeans. I came downstairs, played with S. WH made him bottle, came into room where I was playing with him, sat on couch where I was. I got up and left room to go hem some jeans, but felt bad for walking out of the room so I came back and talked about something.
WH took S to store, asked if I needed anything.He had mentioned some delicious deli meat from before, so I asked if he could get me some. I watched a cooking show and hemmed some jeans while they were gone and when they came back,WH immediately brought the meat over to me to taste (uh oh I could make a dirty joke but I won't). It was very good! I did tell him that I knew it would be, since he has good taste. (in food at least!)
So it came time for him to go. He said "I'll see you tomorrow!" and I said "Ok! See you tomorrow!" and when I heard him closing the door I said "Bye!" again. Up until now I have just been neutral about it. It's a little thing, ok? haha!
BTW I am developing a crush on Bobby Flay! Is he really as humble as he seems despite being sooooo talented???
Last edited by newmama; 03/01/1004:44 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
As I was re-reading Divorcebusting, I saw the section on goals. I don't think I have ever set any! I mean some for myself, but not for what I want WH to do or say. So I need to think about that...
Yes, and there's even a thread where you can get some help with them!
Figure out your goals there then come and post them here in your thread. We're starting a trend
Last edited by flowmom; 03/01/1005:03 AM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
