New Thread...and a question.

[Cadet]

Is piecing any different for a MLC'er than for a WAS? Not that I am up to that part yet but doing advanced research.

Actually Jack I think you should offer college credit for "Advanced MLC". Could be a good business. LOL.

[Drew]

Welcome back, my friend.

We both know that relationships are hard work but WELL worth the effort.

[seeking answers]

Welcome back, Jack.

Thank you for that excellent post. You are a wise man.

[smith18]

Jack - If you ever do catch a 50+ pound King, it is probably not good for "piecing" to put it in the bathtub with a note asking your spouse to clean it. But, my brother did just that a few years back and he is still married.

[flowmom]

Your post is really helpful Jack. Thank you.

For you, to protect yourself from MANY things, many mistakes you can make, to protect yourself from them and their anger, from your resposne to their bad choices, and your bad reactions. To protect the imagine of the 'good' you in their mind when they think about you...

You know, I've been "dim" for 6 weeks and I am thankful that I've been protected from all of the above. I know that I would have been dealing with all of the above had I not been following a plan so I can see that I have already truly benefited for this. I shudder to think how much worse that would have been for me.

and guess what? They do think about you. You want them to have 'good' pictures in their head when they do.

I have trouble believing that H thinks about me except how he can cut me out of his life. But if he does think about me it helps me to think that if his eyes are open (which I don't assume) he can only see me as looking better than I have in years, calm, polite, and cooperative about the children. That doesn't give him a lot to objectively react against. He's alone with his demons and his A fantasies.

[D Money]

Flowmom,

Thanks for posting to me on the alt about my job situation. I really appreciate it.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Class acts both of you.

: )

Honored to know you.

[DiamondGirl]

At the risk of sounding mushy and sappy, I feel honoured every day to have found all of you. You have all made me see that this is an opportunity for me to reclaim *me* and I am forever thankful to you all for 2x4ing that in.

[Cadet]

No one answered my question from the top of the page so I am going to add another part to it.

When do you start piecing?

From the top of the page.

Is piecing any different for a MLC'er than for a WAS? Not that I am up to that part yet but doing advanced research.

[brandnewday]

OP,
Yes....
Piecing is very different.
With MLC there is so much emotional baggage, so many deep seated issues to wade through.
It can take years of piecing just to get to a good place in the marriage.
With a WAS it is much easier.
This is usually someone who has just become fed up with the marriage and although there may also be alot of emotional stuff to go through, it doesn't carry the same crap.

You start piecing when both parties want to work at making it right and are committed to that.