"If someone asked me today, where do I think all this is going, I couldn't answer." And yet if we had asked you this question at the beginning of all this.. the answer would have been the same.
"But I DO know where I want it to go. And that's what I am trying to do." And you have been all along.
So what are we mortals to infer from this profound observation?
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
"Brah-SEEL-yan." Brazilian Thong.
I'm sure it costs almost as much as a Greek Island for this microscopic patch of real estate. Make sure H sees you in it so you BOTH get to feel sexy assuming that's one of the places you want to go.
I am at work, just talked to H. He is coming back tommorow. I am not surprised to say that I am much much calmer since he left and that I wish things were simplier between us because it burdens me with stress.
....and the $64 million question is... did you miss him??
Its not good that it stresses you out. How did he sound? Relaxed? Looking forward to coming home? Maybe he will be a little more demonstrative when he sees you, after being away for a week. xxx
I remember Michelle saying in one of her books that she used to dread coming home from trips because her H always was a bit grumpy and had a list of things that went wrong. She decided to practice what she preaches and acted as if things would be nice and calm when he greeted her...and they were.
We often set things up in our heads and create just the opposite experience that we wanted because we play out the way things have always been.
Give him the hoecoming that you both deserve.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
The good thing is I am calmer. He throws me off balance or maybe I throw myself off balance when he is here. From the beginning, despite my complaints, I felt better and more confident when the contact was limited. Even if it was positive contact.
I have built this protective wall around me with hurt, anger and failed expectations and when he is around, my senses are on red alert all the time. I cant even begin to tell you how frustrating and tiring that is.
He sounds...flat. Not very excited about coming home but he misses the kids. I had my son ask him for a diamond "for his future wife and D" but that didnt do the trick either...
I know neither of us is in love. Our lives are tangled together and we cant break it off, or so it seems now. I am only going to try to communicate my thoughts and needs in a better non threatening way. I tried to identify what was different when we were happy and what I do different when I am interacting with other people. I am just honest but I have my sting hidden.I take things as I hear them and not color them with hidden motives. Now, that is difficult to do with H but I practiced in writting with "automatic thinking" (dont know how it is called in English) and I have identified how I revert to old ways when being with him. I will keep that on mind.
The fact is we could turn this around if we BOTH do our part of the job. I have to accept that the way he is doing or can do his job is not my way. But that should not be my focus.
Try to start thinking positive thoughts. I understand how hard that is, especially after all the hurt and pain, but if you can start thinking positive and focusing on the positive, it will give you more energy and a better outlook with H. Expect good things like said above. Act and treat him with a happy smile. If you have had a bad day at work, tell him about it and treat him like you would any other friend. It is important to start by becoming friends again and talking. Gaining common ground. Then the other will follow.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Well, H arrived and left from the airport. He looked tired and distracted. My gut feeling said something was off. I bypassed it and hugged him and kissed him n his lips and welcomed him. I kept "happy" and easygoing for as long as we were together. Put him in a taxi and he left. He said he wont go to work today. He feels very tired after the trip.
When I went down to baggage reclaim to find him, the one person he was with at the trip, told me he was still "downstairs" smoking a cigarette. I called him and he said there were huge lines at passport control. When he came to where I was, 10 minutes later, he avoided eye contact. I made a comment about it, it was so obvious. You dont want to know what my thoughts about that were, I ignored them and was a warm wife. K
