<<Hogwash! They are one in the same. That is too complex, life is meant to be simpler than that ..until we go screw it up!>>
Hey Ted, I know you mean well and are a good Christian and all...but we are all well meaning on this site regardless of our religious affiliations. We all have opinions...no need to refer to a brother's opinion as hogwash.
Your reality may be your faith. Someone else's reality may differ. Who is to say what is right or wrong?
I really doubt that there was any need to come to FIB's defenses unless he expressly asked you to do so. It just so happens that he and I know each other somewhat off of this board.
I did direct my remarks squarely at him. He and I challenge each other on our thinking from time to time.
If you were offended by it then you have my apology. More importantly if FIB was offended by it (and he might have been but has not 'weighed in') then at such a time I would take whatever necesarry steps to preserve and make better things between he & I. To come rushing in on something like this seems almost silly to me as if somebody is incapable of speaking for themselves. I am sure that is not the case.
It seems to me you re-arranged some words that were never said in that way.
And until and unless FIB, who my original remarks were expicitly addressed to chooses to sound off to me perhaps on my own thread then I am done with it. Surely in Maria's space here I am done with it.
Sorry for the ruffling of feathers. I am sure they will go back into place. They always do.
it does stink that you aren't able to experience everything with H, but maybe this time apart will allow him to get upbeat and you to get some time to gain some strength. Since he is calling you 10 times a day, that is awesome and you can work on your communication that way so when H gets back maybe things will be a little easier because you can work on the friendship over the phone.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Work on you... the rest will follow. It's not about fixing the marriage. It's about becoming the best you can be.
It's easy to point the finger and be angry at your spouse. It's easy to chalk up the injustices. It's easy to b!tch about him, his failings.
Next time he talks, listen. The guy is frickin' terrified of you, cowering like a puppy with its tail between its legs.
What is the message? No.. not that one. Nope.. not that one either.
The message is.. work on you. With a professional. It doesn't make you wrong or weak. It's using the appropriate tools to clear the pathway to meet your goals. And remember, denial is not a river in Egypt.
The apple does not fall far from the tree. Your mother would rather risk serious consequences than have an MRI, using taking care of your father as an excuse.
Hey K.. you say he doesnt sound depressed, maybe he isnt. Or, maybe its easier to be happy and upbeat and enjoy a new and exciting setting, with no reminders of what an *rsehole you are and general failure as a H/father. Dont be too quick to judge. BF went on 5 holidays in 2008 and according to his friends, seemed happy and fine. The reality was (who he told noone).. he hated himself and was almost suicidal. Not saying tahts your H's reality, but.. appearances ARE deceptive.
I still think you need to look at and address your communication issues with him.. Michelle is right, how is H supposed to know you actually want to be made a fuss of, around or on your birthday if you have always 'gone along' with the unwritten rule that anniversarys/dates are not made much of? But secretly you are annoyed/angry or just feel let down..
I was once told very starkly by an astrologer, that as a Pisces with Mercury in Pisces too, I can often speak "in forked tongues" meaning I dont always say what I mean, or mean what I say, or that people get confused by what I say.. this has been demonstrated to me alot over the years!! Becasue I am aware of it (and I took it on the chin what he said to me)... I try to be straight and honest with bf. If something upsets/worries me or makes me happy, I tell him pretty much in real time, or the best next thing (like wait until we are alone, or he has time to listen).
Do you think you could do a bit of practising in this area? And I dont mean email him (that never works!) but actually talk to him in the moment, rather than brush things under the carpet or let him off the hook...
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
