Thank you all for your support. I guess filing was the easy part. It was just filling out some paperwork and writing a big check. Living in the same house with him after he gets served is going to be harder. Since there is no abuse the lawyer says he can stay for up to 40 days.
I guess here my goal would be to make sure I remain polite. He wrote me a check for his 1/2 of the mortgage yesterday and wrote "Rent" on it.
Me 35 H 41 M 10 years Together 12 years D,6 SS, 17,19
It feels good to say just what we are thinking! So often we have to edit our thoughts, so that we don't come across the "wrong way." You can just let the unedited version spill out here!
Last edited by scrappy; 10/19/0811:15 PM.
Me:42 H:47 D:17 S:14 D:13 D:13 M: 18 years H filed 6/16/08 (I considered separation 5/08). D final 11/09. EH MLC/alcoholic. Not sure what the future holds..
" He wrote me a check for his 1/2 of the mortgage yesterday and wrote "Rent" on it."
If you haven't cashed this check yet, wait to talk to a L. I'd hate to see you legally put into a landlord or lessor role which would make it very very difficult to get him out of the house.
If you cash the check, you might be accepting his terms according to which the payment is rent and he is a tenant.
I did just that. The L said it didn't matter what he wrote in the memo portion. He is legally responsible for his 1/2 as he signed the mortgage contract. The L has a copy of the check in my file.
After talking with L, I wrote it out to the bank and sent it along. Left H a "copy for his records."
Seems H likes to hide where he leaves checks for me. Asked for his 1/2 of the auto insurance and it was put on top of the coffee pot. Something we don't use until Sunday.
I feel like I am dealing with a 4 year old. All these games. It's like mental gymnastics.
Me 35 H 41 M 10 years Together 12 years D,6 SS, 17,19
My goal is to have a happy life despite how utter hopeless that seems right now. To find a great man who loves and supports me and will stand by me till death does us part. The right way, not someone who will hurt, abuse and abandon me. Someone who appreciates and cares for me and will be a great Dad to my kids. I want to feel alive again - feel hope again - believe in the goodness of people again. Believe in Love again. Feel trust for someone. I want to be me again. 10 years ago.
5 hours: Eat, Breathe, Go to Church, Pray, Ask for help 5 days: Take care of my body, relax, keep fear and anger in check 5 weeks: Take care of my body and appear in court w/ L 5 months: Get De-Married, sell house, gain sole custody of S16, and possibly D13 5 years: To forgive my chicken sh!t STBX-Hus for the years of abuse and neglect. And help the next girl find her Superboots.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
My goal is to have a happy life despite how utter hopeless that seems right now. To find a great man who loves and supports me and will stand by me till death does us part. The right way, not someone who will hurt, abuse and abandon me. Someone who appreciates and cares for me and will be a great Dad to my kids. I want to feel alive again - feel hope again - believe in the goodness of people again. Believe in Love again. Feel trust for someone. I want to be me again. 10 years ago.
Similar goals of mine, stillalone
Goals: (no particular order) - have a happy life - get a new job in a new, exciting city where I can start fresh - make new friends - meet a nice, friendly woman who will love me as much as I love them and who believes that marriage is forever, who will not give up in tough times, who will not use me for personal gain (must have a degree already, im not supporting anyone through school again) and who will treat me with respect. - to have a child
Sitch: http://snipurl.com/u4zrz
M-11y
D talk-7/28/09 W Moved out-9/01/09 W wants D-9/22/09 W doesnt want D-12/1/09 W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09 W wants D-1/19/10 D Final-04/15/10
My goal is to have a happy life despite how utter hopeless that seems right now. To find a great man who loves and supports me and will stand by me till death does us part. The right way, not someone who will hurt, abuse and abandon me. Someone who appreciates and cares for me and will be a great Dad to my kids. I want to feel alive again - feel hope again - believe in the goodness of people again. Believe in Love again. Feel trust for someone. I want to be me again. 10 years ago.
You will not always be alone. There is someone out there just waiting for you. Now you are free to find each other.
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
