I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is having so much pain and misery. I pray the doctors find a good solution to the blockage quickly. Are they able to give him any better pain management?
You are a beacon of strength and love K. Your brother will be looking to you for comfort. Never doubt that you have the strength in you to share it with him. You're totally amazing!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Thanks guys, those who unfortunately had to deal with cancer, know these tests and wating for the results every 3-6 months and the outcome and the hopes and the miracle that rarely comes, is a process that burdens your heart 24 hours a day, non stop...
It is a long weekend here, we fly kites and eat shrimps, octapuss shells, etc etc
Things with H are... so and so. We have again hit a low. We talked last night and the result is the same as always. He wants me to trust him and he feels like a failure. He said I "make him feel like a mistake, he is a mistake in this house". Of course that means that I am failing to be the good wife I am trying to be.
No Vday gifts from him. I gave him the 5 LL book cause I believe it would help us immensely to be on the same page with that. I dont know if he will take the time to read it.
He again said "how can I be making love to you when we are like THIS?". Hmmm, he is right in a way but on the other hand if we did make love, make we wouldnt be like THIS. It's the egg and the chicken once again...
Dont know what to do. Dont know how to get through to him. I guess I can stop trying.
My kids are happy and life goes on.
I wrote a letter to my brother telling him he shouldnt feel responsible for everything concerning my dad's treatement etc, I am in it with him as well. I wrote him I want him to take care of himself an his family and we'll do our best reagrding our dad, I told him I love him very much... K
Good idea regarding the letter to your brother. He has had to watch your dad and his healthas well as his sister struggle in her marraige in the last couple of years. That also is difficult. Not as difficult as living it but.....
Excellent purchase for your H (LL) and hopefully for you as well. the gift that keeps on giving...can't remember what product that slogan is associated with.
Finally, you told me something yesterday and I hope you are wrong...I really hope he is (or will be) into you and he is just in a funk right now. Wow, I am starting to sound like the ladies....meanwhile I am sure that most of teh men have already expressed their concern regarding his "inactivity". Time will tell. In the meantime, I know you are concerned about your dad and your mom, your brother, your kids and your husband. Try to take some time for you to just try to find some positives around you. Looking on the bright side when things are not all rosy can be difficult...but essential. Stay strong for those around you if not for yourself.
I still don't get how every one seems to think someone who is depressed would want to have sex. It isn't a priority. He needs to start feeling the positives himself and then things might start to warm up in that department.
Still thinking of your Dad and your family.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I agree with Kat. There is at least one sleeping position which NEVER fails to "put H in the mood," but while he was going through his most depressed phase ... nothing. There literally wasn't enough seratonin in his brain to transmit any impulses. I think this is very difficult for a person who has never experienced moderate to severe depression to understand, however.
Kalni, my deepest sympathies for what your family is going through with your Dad's condition right now.
To top it all, I had to accompany my mom with an ambulance to the ER today, she had blood coming out from her mouth and nose and a terrible headache on the left side of her head.
After 4 hours and 2 hospitals (I took her out of the public to a private one) I had to sign her out from both because docs said she needed an MRI ASAP and she refused. From the last one she left me, H and an aunt of mine there and she left, took a taxi home, we were looking for her with the car in dark streets
GRRRRRR...
H was waiting for the ambulance at the hospital and was realy sweet. And i thanked him and he looked as if he felt so NOT a mistake... K
Depression is the ultimate killer of the sex drive, IME.
Originally Posted By: Kalni
He again said "how can I be making love to you when we are like THIS?". Hmmm, he is right in a way but on the other hand if we did make love, make we wouldnt be like THIS. It's the egg and the chicken once again...
Could you do something like offer him a friendly massage and hint that you'd love it to be reciprocated? That would be a loving, non-verbal gesture to connect on the physical level without it being sexual. You can't fail at receiving a massage. But talking...that's a cheeseless tunnel for you guys.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
