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Gardener #1935486 02/10/10 05:54 PM
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Originally Posted By: Gardener
Hijack:
Coach,
You still around?
Question:
Early on you told me you had set (page x) as your opening page whenever you opened DB.

How is that done? I want a certain page to come up when I click on/open DB.

Or maybe gima or anyone else might know?
Thanks.


I don't know that one buddy.


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Cadet #1935489 02/10/10 05:57 PM
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Originally Posted By: OldPilot
Don't be so sure that her C is leading her down the D path. I felt my C was doing that and she did a lot of validating of my wife's desire to D but by your being strong and not fearing the D it may set in a new reality for your W. You are doing good! Lead the way gently. I am not so convinced that your W wants a D. She does want to get rid of the pain and you do represent the pain but she needs as much time and space as possible to come to that realization that YOU are not the real problem.


I wish I could tell you I thought she was unsure of what she wants. I think she is struggling with her decision, but I don't believe she will deviate from it.

Trust me, I WANT to believe there is hope. I just don't see or feel it.


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Quote:
Trust me, I WANT to believe there is hope. I just don't see or feel it.
I am not trying to give you hope. Keep your expectations at zero. You are doing fine. Don't let what I am saying alter your path. You are on the right one.


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Cadet #1935508 02/10/10 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted By: OldPilot
Quote:
Trust me, I WANT to believe there is hope. I just don't see or feel it.
I am not trying to give you hope. Keep your expectations at zero. You are doing fine. Don't let what I am saying alter your path. You are on the right one.


Even if I had hope on that issues, which I don't, I would not alter my path.

Thanks.


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Doing much better tonight. It's amazing what moving my focus from her and our past to my future can do. Emotion follows thought.


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gima, I'm glad.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Doing much better tonight. It's amazing what moving my focus from her and our past to my future can do. Emotion follows thought.
I have yet to read up on that whole cognitive dissonance theory. I must.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1935902 02/11/10 02:51 AM
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Originally Posted By: Gardener
gima, I'm glad.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Doing much better tonight. It's amazing what moving my focus from her and our past to my future can do. Emotion follows thought.
I have yet to read up on that whole cognitive dissonance theory. I must.


I highly recommend it. It's strange how sometimes we get so swept up in our situations, we stop using the tools we learned. At least I do.

All day, I have consciously made myself focus forward and not behind.


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When you get a minute can you re-point me to where I might find it?
No rush.
Thanks.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1935913 02/11/10 03:02 AM
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Originally Posted By: Gardener
When you get a minute can you re-point me to where I might find it?
No rush.
Thanks.


The best explanation I found was on wikipedia - search "cognitive dissonance" and "cognitive distortion."


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Better day today. Maintaining a focus on the positive things in my future, while keeping myself from looking at the past had helped tremendously.

I have dinner out tonight with a friend. So, I won't be home before the kids go to sleep. I haven't seen this frined in a while, and I'm looking forward to it.


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