Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

I feel a little bad trying to point out the difference between the sexes and our DBing efforts...I guess it comes down to trying to detach and then make self improvements and deciding if you want to stay with your H or W or BF/GF etc. If you do, then you watch and monitor results to see if their behavior changes as a result of your changes. If you don't want to stay you just let them file for D or you file for D.

So sorry about the rant!

[newmama]

Jstar, yes, I allowed WH with me in delivery. BUT there are WHs out there who are 1) cheating AND 2) being jerks toward their BWs. Then there are WHs out there who are 1) cheating and 2)acting "civil" toward their BWs which is how my WH has been the whole time.

If he was not into being a dad, then I would have just filed for D and looked for someone else to be a father like another poster on here told me she did (was it ravenly??)

So that is why I let WH in (and I was hoping it would bond him to our S because I was unsure if he would totally freak out and walk away since he was capable of cheating on me--I didn't know what to expect).

[newmama]

Gardener, I pointed out my age difference to explain that I think femininity is still around...including the younger generations of women!

Believe me, I am not age-ist and if I do get divorced, will open my "pool" to men in their 40's...BUT NOT younger than me! My mom has told me that sometimes when men hit their 50s (NOT IN YOUR CASE, Gardener!!), they "resign" to an "old man life" and act older than they are! I don't know if this is true but it made me laugh when she said it. 50 is the new 35, right? :-)

[newmama]

OK so I woke up with S in the middle of the night and it dawned on me that DUH of course WH is going somewhere with OW!
You see 1) he said is going to a city that is only 1 hour by airplane 2) he has never been on a work trip where he stays the night on Friday! 3) When he and I used to go places, we would often do a Thurs-Sat because the airline and hotel rates are cheaper.

So it doesn't make a difference, but it just makes me feel satisfied to know the truth... if that makes sense to anyone out there!

And it explains why when he told me and asked if I had plans Thurs night and I said yes, he kind of got this look like he was "thinking" about what I said...like trying to figure out a change in his plans so I could go? (I KNOW it's mind reading, but I like to think of it as FACE reading, LOL!)
When I saw that, I remember thinking why does it matter-can't do anything about a work trip! ANd I said that, too, like "it's okay, you gotta go on your work trip, I'll figure it out!"

[newmama]

And about the cooking--I read more threads last night where the WAS had noticed changes in the LBS but was skeptical if they would last.

SOOOO, Mindfull, I am totally going to do what you are suggesting! Which is still cook on Sunday nights, for me, but it truly does make leftovers. I won't be cooking every day but I still will have fun making these recipes. Then put them in tupperware and offer them to WH on Monday nights.

And I love the chicken chili--will definitely be making that recipe and I saved it under my recipe favorites file!

[newmama]

oh and t/j is "thread jack!"

My next goal for distancing which I forgot about is to only speak when spoken to...this will be sooooo hard for me, a woman who was nicknamed "Motormouth" "chatterbox" "yakkity yak" as a girl growing up! :-)

One day at a time, one week at a time....

[chatterbug]

Jstar, yes, I allowed WH with me in delivery. BUT there are WHs out there who are 1) cheating AND 2) being jerks toward their BWs. Then there are WHs out there who are 1) cheating and 2)acting "civil" toward their BWs which is how my WH has been the whole time.

Don't forget the 3rd group. BH , becomes WH, and acts civil

p.s. keep the striking age difference to 7 years Gives you a nice 27 to 40 range... Us men are basically the same over those years. Dumb and nonobservant

[newmama]

Cutter, I think I remember you making fun of me for making sexist comments in the past

BUT I caught your women=time x money logic equation with final result being women=root of all problems

Are you sure about 27?? I was thinking more 34-47...

[mindfull]

My next goal for distancing which I forgot about is to only speak when spoken to...this will be sooooo hard for me, a woman who was nicknamed "Motormouth" "chatterbox" "yakkity yak" as a girl growing up! :-)

One day at a time, one week at a time....

Are we twins? LMAO!!!!

WARNING - This is hard, and not for the faint of heart!

Jstar, yes, I allowed WH with me in delivery. BUT there are WHs out there who are 1) cheating AND 2) being jerks toward their BWs. Then there are WHs out there who are 1) cheating and 2)acting "civil" toward their BWs which is how my WH has been the whole time.

Gives you a nice 27 to 40 range... Us men are basically the same over those years. Dumb and nonobservant

Niiiiiice!!! Know any? LoL

BUT I caught your women=time x money logic equation with final result being women=root of all problems

Cutter, I saw this, too... In fact, I almost replied...

"Hey, I resemble that comment!"

[newmama]

Originally Posted By: newmama

My next goal for distancing which I forgot about is to only speak when spoken to...this will be sooooo hard for me, a woman who was nicknamed "Motormouth" "chatterbox" "yakkity yak" as a girl growing up! :-)

One day at a time, one week at a time....

Are we twins? LMAO!!!!

WARNING - This is hard, and not for the faint of heart!

Mindfull, I WISH but you are waaaay funnier than me so we couldn't be identical! But I would be honored to be your fraternal twin, LOL!

I know it is hard,which is why I have procrastinated on it for sooo long! here is an example of the daily texts WH sends to check on S:

WH:How did S sleep last night? Is he feeling better?

ME:Well, S woke up every 30-60 minutes between 8 and 3. He drank 2 oz pedialyte. He is less "snotty" and seems to breathe easier. He still has a bad cough, though, and won't drink formula!

WH: Well it sounds like he is slowly getting better! I'll check in later!

I am sure my chattering sounds like the adults in the Peanuts comics..waah waah waww woh woh!