gima, I've admired your attitude, strength, good intentions and noble character throughout your (our) journey(s) these past six months or so. Keep on your path. It is the right one. Cheers.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
You are on the right path. But also realize that you are never going to be done. Don't let what I am saying change anything you are doing. Just keep it in the deep recesses of your mind
I'm with you OP. I know, b/c we have two wonderful children together, W will never totally be out of my life. We may not be M'd to each other soon, but we will always be our childrens' parents.
My W has been gone for nearly 2.5mos. I think she may finally be realizing this. There isn't the clean break to some glorious new life when you have kids together.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
gima, I've admired your attitude, strength, good intentions and noble character throughout your (our) journey(s) these past six months or so. Keep on your path. It is the right one. Cheers.
Thanks Gardener. I have admired your character throughout your ordeal. And I know I will be relying on your experience as I navigate mine.
So, S comes to me last night and tells me W told him he could not trust one set of his God parents (naturally the ones who have told her what she is doing is wrong) to do what they say they will, but S can trust his other set of God parents (of course, the W of that couple has been one of W's advisors and I know this "Christian" woman has told W a few years back that I don't support W) to do what they say. To say I was angry last night is one of the understatements of the year.
I decided the best thing to do is calm down and talk to W about this some time today or tomorrow, preferably today. I'm still angry, but I'm in control.
I see this as W trying to pit S against one set of God parents and emphasize a strong bond with the set who are "on W's side." God, that bothers me.
And yet again, I will have to be the one to initiate the serious discussion. No sweat, since I'm the one with a backbone these days.
Yesterday, S and I went to a bookstore, and I bought Dr. Seuess' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" I wrote a note in it to my kids to tell them "To S and D. This Looked like a great book for us all. Love, Dad."
This morning, W goes to Church, and the kids stay home with me. As D and I are reading the new book, D tells me mom took a picture of the note I wrote "b/c she liked it so much."
I'm pissed. The realization that a harmless, and very loving, note to my children is being "documented" for a L to try to make something out of it sickens me. Who is this woman my W has become? And, on the other hand, will her L simply think she's crazy for documenting something like this.
Ok, enough with the unanswerable questions (I don't really care about those). The issue is whether to confront her with this just so she knows I know? That she's doing this is reprehensible. That she's doing this in front of my D is unforgiveable.
GIMA, I know that you're pissed right now. Think of it like this... what are the results going to be from confronting her? You'll get some satisfaction out of it... and she will get justification of your actions.
At least she has shown some insight into lying to the kids about her intentions and not making them known.
Always liked that one.