Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

should I ask him if he could take S on Superbowl Sunday because I was invited to a party? I could find one for sure!

or I could just tell him that hi sister will be watching S for me so I could go to a party so we need to leave by 1...

I like option #2 but would like opinions! thank you!

[newmama]

Also had another idea but want opinions...I am looking for a toybox for S. I thought of maybe making one.

Do you think it would be a good idea if I involved WH in this? He could build it and I would paint it. We could go together to the home improvement store to get the supplies.

I realize this is a little opposite of me being distant so I wanted to ask. But I was thinking it could be a bonding opportunity or something... ????

Otherwise, I would try to make it myself (seriously I am not good with measuring wood, using the power saw, assembling. But I could give it a shot)

[WhatNow]

You might mention to him that you were thinking of the need/project ...make it his idea???

[nsw1222]

I like the party idea newmama. kinda seems to be saying you have a life outside of him.

[newmama]

thank you nsw and whatnow!

So if I were to make it his idea,he knows I am looking for one but haven't found one I like yet. I guess I could bring it up on Tuesday night over our steaks and grilled potatos w/ green onion & bacon...something like "man, I like the idea of a wooden toybox with his name but it is so expensive! Does wood really cost that much? Geesh!" (the toyboxes are $139-159 from what I've found so far, truthfully!)

[WhatNow]

I'll bet there is one online that can be personalized and is uber expensive that you could show him (Pottery Barn kids maybe). Give him the opportunity to say "I could do that" and you can say "and I can paint it, and we could put sweetbaby's handprints on it every year!"

[newmama]

oh, good idea, whatnow! I will totally look for one online and show him!thank you!

[newmama]

Well, last night went fine...I heated up some sourdough breadbowls, put garlic-butter on the "lids" and added cheese and baked til bubbly, then filled with reheated homemade chili.

I ate some and left for my class. (yes, I still cooked but purposely didn't eat with WH) The pilates class kicked my core, then I returned and WH had just put S to sleep. He hung out for 10 minutes then left. He has this terrible head cold.
Before he left, we both laughed a few times while watching the end of this corny sci fi movie and it felt good.

He really liked the dinner and told me he put the leftovers in the fridge because he wants to eat it when he comes over on his day off! So that was a compliment to me.

Before I left for my class, I heard him bustling around in the garage. Then I saw he put the very same gift box of crown whiskey that I got him for Christmas on the entry table--apparently he had hid it in the garage instead of taking it with him! Come on, he could have lied and told OW that he bought it at the liquor store because it was a good deal. In the past, he would do that(buy the gift sets) so it is realistic. Maybe she got him the same gift box? who knows but I think it's amusing that he didn't take it! Also, makes me wonder what he did with the "I Love Daddy" picture frame w/ photo of S. I will be giving him copies of photos of S but I won't waste my money on frames again, LOL!

I remember my divorced parents giving each other Christmas gifts from my younger sisters like the frames and they both had significant others....so I honestly thought it was appropriate to give WH. Oh well.

So tonight I'll be making dinner(using the grill...something I have now done 2x in my life! WH used to do it) and bringing up the toybox project. I'll try to see if I can get him to "come up" with the idea but am ready to suggest it myself if needed.

My next goals are to plant the herbs, continue mirroring interests, and get him to talk about himself (VERY hard anyway, but especially with the current sitch!)

Also, I am adding a self improvement goal of not interrupting and BEING COMFORTABLE WITH SILENCE in conversations! I have procrastinated on these 2 goals forever because they are very hard for me. Please understand I love to listen to other people talk, but if they are slow talkers then I kind of take control of the conversation.

Oh and today I added more pics to the memory card for the digital picture frame he set up for me earlier. It might be easy for others, but this was kind of tricky for me, so I was proud! Also I think it will surprise WH.

Oh yeah I ordered a belly dancing DVD that got great reviews so I can practice at home! Next week I will let on about that... just to show another surprise. He still hasn't asked me about my Monday night class and I haven't told him, so maybe he'll thin that is when I'm taking the belly dancing and Thursday nights can remain a mystery!

[newmama]

So tonight I had the music playing when WH came home-actually it is nice to be able to listen to music again. I mean songs that we used to listen to together. I realize that I didn't play my ipod due to triggering so it makes me feel strong to be able to hear the songs again! (I was listening to the radio but you can always change the station)

He commented on the picture frame I put up by the front door and said it looked good. He didn't say anything about the digital frame though!

So, I worked out and then started the grill and proceeded to make dinner. I did bring up topics of conversation and he responded, but WH is just not a big talker! Still, we watched TV and commented back and forth. I didn't get a chance to bring up the toybox project but he will be here all day tomorrow so I can work it in then.

WH liked the dinner (I did ask his advice about how long to grill the steaks and he was right)and then he cleaned up the kitchen after he put S to sleep.

He also "shared" duties for S with me. He handed him to me to hold while he did stuff, he asked if I could feed him while he ate dinner. It was just kind of a first. I wondered if this is what parents who are married and have a baby do. Don't worry, I did not read into it. I just "enjoyed" the teamwork!

He did leave right at 8, just like last night.
Oh yeah- I discovered that he put the glasses that came with the gift set in the dishwasher, so I put them in the cupboard.

[newmama]

WH will be making it easier for me to avoid him this month...

First, my superbowl party invite idea backfired...he just said he could watch S and would pick him up and return him later. I should have waited until the day of, saying I got last minute plans to go!

But he wants to take S overnight on the 13th, so IF he really is going on a business trip, he won't have a night alone with OW for 3 nights straight and the night he does return, they will have a crying baby to deal with!

He will be taking a day off each week, Tuesday. Used to be Friday before he started taking S overnight.

Because of my classes, I will be busy Mon and Thurs nights.

For the next 2 weeks, he will not be at the house on Sunday.

He will still be here on Wednesday days but now that my baby sign class is over, I can go back to working out, then going to lunch and a movie.

WH Nights here: Mon and Thurs (I have class both nights)
WH Days here: Wed and Sun (I work out then run errands)

So I still want to cook something on Mondays to prove my cooking is here to stay(remember I have only been cooking for 3 months out of all the time he has known me)BUT will leave it on the stove for him to eat alone while I go to class!

Today I did talk to him about building a toy box. He seemed partly interested, partly concerned with how much work it would entail. So I will drop it for awhile and then see if he brings it up!

I was hoping he would bring coffee and he did!He also offered to cook me breakfast but I said No thanks. I stayed rather busy most of the time but did watch S when he had to have a work meeting over the phone (I witnessed it- he was telling the truth)


Oh and my VS package arrived-am wearing my new PJs right now!