This is The Day (Your Life Will Surely Change)

[iwantittowork]

You sound well Goldey, and on your own path now! Keep up the positive attitude, and good luck. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

[smith18]

It was nice to meet your STBXH.

I believe that with time, your fear of him will subside and the 2 of you can coparent peacefully.

Just keep thinking - business deal. And you have a great thing going with the common family friend who can act as an intermediary. Do all you can to keep them neutral and it should help the transition.

[goldeylox]

You are spot on, Kerry. That particular family has always been close. And although it's hard on them to watch our M dissolve, their hearts have always been in the right place.
They don't know about the extent of the abuse, and I have no desire to trash my STBXH in front of our friends and children. Perhaps the dog. He's pretty capable of handling sh!t like this. He's a Lab. They can put up with just about anything.

I will heal. S16 will heal. Kitty is going into foster care tonight. And I'll sit on my red couch, and celebrate. Try and finish setting up my home office (wireless is giving me fits!) Surf the web and throw a little party. It's a small guest list. Visit S16 tomorrow. Call IC Monday morning.
I have a plan. Hope it looks a little like what God has in mind.
Someday, it won't hurt as much as it did today. Seeing D13 upset nearly broke me. She is a fabulous young woman, and I am proud to be her Mom.
Thanks for the assist. Once again, a knight on a white horse.
Hope you had a nice coffee w/ the date that wasn't really a date date.

[goldeylox]

Journal:
Still hard to sleep through the night. MD is on board and there is a comprehensive plan. I'm on a waiting list for a specialist (team) that I think can help me.
Eat. Breathe. Hydrate. Exercise. Pray. Sleep. Work. Play.
Parenting: I feel like I've failed. I have three great kids, and none of them are here. The hardest time is when I go to Church (the new one) and I see the families with babies and little kids. That used to be me. I miss those times, when the boys were little. And the abuse was just directed at me. Things got a lot worse after D13 was born.
When I see these young families, I long for those simpler times. Now, things are just a complete mess between me and my kids. But it will get better, someday.
Visiting S16 @ hospital today.


I had forgotten how much I missed golfing until I read your post on Jeff's thread, Kerry. I was getting ready to sell my clubs, and slink away. Now, I think I'll take a few lessons when the weather warms up and the MD releases me.

As a friend pointed out yesterday, instead of choosing my driver, I should consider an iron. I'll tee it up on one of my pretty little pink tee's.
Yes, we'll have no problem co-parenting. As long as everyone plays nice, there should be no problem.


Has anyone heard from Cookie lately? If you're lurking, sweetie, I'd love to hear from you...

p.s. And I'm keeping my cat a while longer. I tried to pack her up last night, and I just couldn't do it.

[goldeylox]

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God, please take care of our needs today...it's really overwhelming right now. Please bless all the faithful DB'ers in a special way. ***************************************************************

[iwantittowork]

Hey Goldey,

Just sending a hug your way..

((((((((Goldey)))))))))))

Parenting: I feel like I've failed.

Not true. The situation may have not worked out, but you are not a failure as a parent, you can see that in your very next words.

I have three great kids

Focus on that quote. You are also a great parent, or you wouldn't have those three great kids...

Remember, that your current situation is temporary, and you can and will change it to what YOU want, for YOU, not what someone else wants.

I am sending prayers and thoughts your way.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Goldey)))))

I don't think I could give my cat up. And I think she'd be really mad!

[sandycay]

Praying for you girlie! Remember what happens to the big bad wolf.... Goldie wins in the end!

[goldeylox]

Thanks, Donna just helped me understand how silly that would be. Me and the old-woman/cat, Hazel, flame point siamese, with giant blue eyes, are gonna hang out a bit longer. She doesn't have a lot left in her. Might as well enjoy what time there is.

Oh dear, I've turned into a crazy cat lady.

[goldeylox]

thx sandycay...but I'm pretty sure she got a little bruised in the brawl...