clean cut for today. With new shoes by Keen. White shirt with red , blue , brown and green line pattern on it. Looks very nice. Jeans and a nice watch to match. I will be smelling nice , smile and a glow in my eyes. Wearing my new coat as well. All in all I look and feel good. Ladybug called this morning to comfirm time and place and what documents I was bringing and what documents she was bringing.
So tonight.
Nice. Polite. Soft spoken yet firm. Get those papers signed. Talk about things I know I am doing and she is not. I.E. Running. Time spent with her neice and nephew. Talk about options with the house. What food is good. Await the mention of the speakers Answer questions with facts and figures. Any R talk. I will put a stop to it with one reply. Are you still commiting adultry. Yes. Then we have no relationship to talk about. The rest of me is a mystery. I will look her in the eyes.
The rest I will listen like a border guard. Say little and allow her to fill in the answers.
Then afterwards I meet up with a few friends for a pint. And reflect on another stage in this process towards divorce.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I had to relearn that you do nothing without a well written plan. Then you write it out. Then you practice and study it. Then when you go in. Use judgement and experience when it does not go according to the plan. As for the confidence and right frame of mind. I always keep a few important things upfront in my mind when I think about ladybug. 1. She burned the bridge down. 2. I did not.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Cutter I had no idea this goes down tonight- you will be great! And your feet will be happy in the Keens!
You have great inner strength through your journey and you have a clear goal with plans. I look forward to seeing how it goes.
Best
BTW- I may have missed some of the story as far as OM...did she admit right away or was it denied for a while?
The reason I ask is in my sitch there has been no admission except for her having strong feelings for him in the beginning...since then lots of lies and busts- but I look like the fool b/c she says nothing.
Any R talk. I will put a stop to it with one reply. Are you still commiting adultry. Yes. Then we have no relationship to talk about.
I am just wondering why you are choosing to ask the question like that instead of "Are you still seeing OM?" Just wanting to understand so I can learn if I ever am presented with reconciliation talk! Thanks!
goooood outfit by the way and very wise advice about planning everything out. I think of you when I set goals because you break your goals into small steps and follow through!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Cutter I had no idea this goes down tonight- you will be great! And your feet will be happy in the Keens!
You have great inner strength through your journey and you have a clear goal with plans. I look forward to seeing how it goes.
Best
BTW- I may have missed some of the story as far as OM...did she admit right away or was it denied for a while?
The reason I ask is in my sitch there has been no admission except for her having strong feelings for him in the beginning...since then lots of lies and busts- but I look like the fool b/c she says nothing.
Maynard. I would you to offer me advice on what you see I am doing. You need to remember that your a smart person. Who has had some serious bad stuff happen to him. Do not let this take away who you are. Let this make you a better person.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Any R talk. I will put a stop to it with one reply. Are you still commiting adultry. Yes. Then we have no relationship to talk about.
I am just wondering why you are choosing to ask the question like that instead of "Are you still seeing OM?" Just wanting to understand so I can learn if I ever am presented with reconciliation talk! Thanks!
goooood outfit by the way and very wise advice about planning everything out. I think of you when I set goals because you break your goals into small steps and follow through!!
Seeing symbolizes its a relationship not adultry. I will not cheapen any relationship with adultry.
Also why would I not say exactly what it is. It is adultry. When your married and do this it is called adultry. Nothing less.
What sounds true and what sounds like I am trying to shield guilt from her and give a subtle impression that I agree or support her faulty and poor decisions.
1. Are you still seeing douchebag ( I would use his name ) 2. Are you still in a relationship with douchebag 3. Are you dating douchebag 4. Are you commiting adultry
If she says no I am not committing adultry any more.
I will reply oh so the affair is not more. You are not in contact with douchebag any more.
And if she says yes I am in contact then I reply so then yes you are still commiting adultry with a married man with children.
And if she says anything against that.
I raise my hand to the stop position and I say. "Stop it ladybug. Call it what you want , but I will call it what it is. It started while you were married. The legal term is Adultry."
Then I shut up and and look her in the eyes. And I stare at her until she looks away.
Adultry carries a moral association and most people disapprove of adultry.
Words have different meanings.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
What sounds true and what sounds like I am trying to shield guilt from her and give a subtle impression that I agree or support her faulty and poor decisions.
I get it...totally mkes sense. Thanks for explaining it!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Answer questions with facts and figures. Any R talk. I will put a stop to it with one reply. Are you still commiting adultry. Yes. Then we have no relationship to talk about. The rest of me is a mystery. I will look her in the eyes.