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avermont #1924672 01/27/10 03:18 AM
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Aver I was in a foul mood today. And it showed here on my posts. I am just fed up and tired and frankly I am sick of carrying this pain that only us who have been betrayed carry. I am sick of these people who commit affairs and betray us at such a deep level and they blame us for this sinful act. I am tired of reading about those who are willing to carry this burden. For it is not ours to carry. So much hurt. It gets to me some times.


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Cutter, I have an open bottle of pinot noir. Would that help?


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
mindfull #1924696 01/27/10 03:53 AM
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Todays song. It is where I am at today. Plus I think she has a very sexy voice... wink

Ladytron



Destroy Everything You Touch

Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way
Anything that may desert you
So it cannot hurt you

You only have to look behind you
At who’s underlined you
Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way

Everything you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Walks you out of the sun

What you touch do not feel
Do not know what you steal
Destroy everything you touch today
Please destroy me this way

Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way
Anything that may delay you
Might just save you

You only have to look behind you
At who’s underlined you
Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way

Everything you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Walks you out of the sun

Once you touch do not feel
Do not know what you steal
Destroy everything you touch today
Please destroy me this way

Everything you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Walks you out of the sun

Once you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Destroy everything you touch today
Please destroy me this way

Everything you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Walks you out of the sun

What you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Destroy everything you touch today
Please destroy me this way


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Cutter, they can destroy the past... but they can't touch the future.

Don't let her poison it. Get your papers signed and move on.

Here's a song for you from my playlist: Paranoid

Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
people think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me,
occupy my brain?
Oh yeah!

I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but I'm too late


Edit: Drop it and move on... there's a good life out there waiting for you.

Last edited by Gnosis; 01/27/10 04:38 AM.
Gnosis #1924855 01/27/10 03:37 PM
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Ahh GNU wink

Motorhead - Overkill

Only way to feel the noise is when it's good and loud,
So good you can't believe it screaming with the crowd,
Don't sweat it, get it back to you, (x2)
Overkill, Overkill, Overkill

On your feet you feel the beat, it goes straight to your spine,
Shake your head you must be dead if it don't make you fly,
Don't sweat it, get it back to you, (x2)
Overkill, Overkill, Overkill

Know your body's made to move, you feel it in your guts
Rock 'n' roll ain't worth the name if it don't make you strut,
Don't sweat it, get it back to you, (x2)
Overkill, Overkill, Overkill


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Sent the following reply to ladybug

Hi Ladybug

Can you call me tonight around 8PM or tomorrow after 10PM and we can confirm meeting up on Friday. If you would like we could meet at restraunt in city. Its a Thai restraunt. The food is fantastic.

Take Care

Cutter


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Aww, you're asking her for a date.


Which reminds me, I have not been on a date for ages. I need to catch up!

I hope she'll take your offer.

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trust me it is not a date.

I do not date mistresses. I find them unattractive. I need to get papers signed.

And I will not Shine a light that night. No R talk ever when there is adultry being commited.

Its a waste of time.

P.S. thanks for the ribbing smile I laughed


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Yesterday
Allow more happiness to enter your life. Someone who continually aims to gain control might not be worth dealing with. You want more openness and fewer games. Support yourself in those desires. Tonight: Enjoy each moment.

Today
You have the wherewithal to change the very nature of a situation. Your ability to grasp the dynamics involved is critical. A misunderstanding might be just that. Don't put all your power and energy into it. Tonight: All smiles.


smile

Today is a good day.

My expression that I have always been known for is.

Life is Good.

Today I feel that today is a good day.

I feel that life is starting to happen again as well.

I am starting to think that I am coming out of the grief cycle.

Still do not sleep very well but my massage therapist stated that I was not all knots... And the only times I tensed up was when the words affair were mentioned.... PTSD I guess...


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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Wow, that all sounds good, CB.

You have gained so much strength and self knowledge through this process.

Oh, that I could be at that point!

Best of luck with your meeting tomorrow. The papers will be signed and you can move on to the next phase of your life.

Jeans and the white button down shirt--maybe just a day or two of beard scruff? I don't know about the other gals, but I find that sexy.


Me: 44
Him: 42
Together: 23 years; never married
Bomb: August 1, 2009
Affair since May 2009
Walk away; no conversation; no process
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