Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

Yes, P and nice to see you stop by! Sympathy is one of the methods!! But what did W's OM do to allure her?

I know we are supposed to find out but do you know what ... I don't actually care. Probably just being an ear. Somebody who said the right things at the right time. Compliments. Touching. The usual stuff. As they were many hours apart and hundreds of miles, most of it was via the phone so an ear was probably the main one.

[newmama]

okay here is my seduction plan...will continue my distance but during my brief presence, will start to leave little hints that will become images/thoughts in WH's mind (ala AoS). Since he is a sensual man but loves to be needed, I will be appealing to his senses in the following ways (this is fun by the way):

scent: wearing perfume HE likes, burning candle with scent that HE likes, cooking food that gives off pleasant aromas that linger (italian seasonings, garlic and onion, etc.)


visual: he looooves color, multi color especially. So I purchased some blouses on sale that had multi colored patterns but fit well.I bought nice pillows for the couch that are color coordinated with the room. He loves my long hair so I will continue to wear my hair down. He likes lip gloss and lipstick, too, but I have a plan for that. He also likes fitted shirts and clothes that hug the curves (like all men) so I will wear those clothes. The house will stay clean as well. I will continue losing weight.

auditory: he loves music, mostly rock but alternative as well. I timed it yesterday to have that kind of music playing on pandora when he arrived home with S (I enjoy some of the same bands that he listens to so I am not faking it). I was listening to it when cleaning. So I plan to have it on again when he comes here from work to see S. Also, I will work very hard to not flap my jaw so much.

taste: I will have some food that he likes in the fridge, will still cook on occasion (once per week), have wine he likes, etc.

touch: sigh, this is a tough one. I guess by keeping the house clean, it helps. I tried to find some soft sweaters or sulky shirts to wear so I could brush past him...but only have stuff in my closet that is a little small still (will fit 20 pounds from now)

mystery: AoS says you need to let the victim become curious so carefully plan when and how you will show him clues of your mysterious side. Well I won't do this all in one week, but over the next 3 weeks: will be dressed up with lipstick on Thursday night and when he arrives to pick up S for is overnight visit this Friday. (I want him to associate lipstick with going out) I will leave some of my new lingerie out on the washing machine "to dry." I will somehow show the coin skirt I will buy for my belly dancing class. I am planting herbs but will first get the seedlings started indoors. At some point I will show/share the wii...he can catch me playing a game. I am watching a new sci-fi show (we both like science fiction) and will record it on the DVR so he will be bound to see it recorded and possibly inquire. Now I don't want all of this stuff to be discovered in the same way, so I'll need to reveal them in various ways.

The other thing from AoS so far is that you have to be subtle and carefully take advantage of every interaction with your victim. Plan every move and py attention to details, timing, etc. If you are too obvious they will see that you are playing games and will be pissed that you are being manipulative.

Oh and I need to remind WH that I'm foxy, not just a mom, so I started working out in just my sports bra and shorts(since I've lost weight, it is safe to do this now, LOL), and I think my confidence from losing weight, my new clothes and lingerie will help remind him.

Oh yeah and another thing...to appeal to his need to be needed; will allow certain acts of service to continue and show my appreciation for them. I will ask his parenting advice and for other stuff.

And will really really improve not interrupting him, listening carefully to what he says, repeat his words back (i.e. active listening).

Now before you get the wrong image of me doing all of this and following him around the house, au contraire...will be doing my own thing but all of he above can be accomplished with me minimally talking to him! My things will be around the house, but I will be absent!

AoS does say that it's important to be in good spirits when they see you so they will begin to subconsciously associate you with feeling good; relaxed, positive.

[WhatNow]

WOW! you go girl!

It does sound like you are having fun!

I got the book today but haven't had a chance to crack it yet.
Can't wait!

I do remember reading elsewhere this little tidbit:
When speaking to him, replace the words "I think" with "I feel" and to actually use the "I feel" "It feels" (It is) "This feels"(this is) at every opportunity.

[newmama]

Just updating...
Monday's seduction methods: had music playing when WH arrived from work. The aroma of sauteed onions and garlic hung in the air. I was wearing perfume he likes. I recorded some shows we both might like.

When WH walked in, he said "smells good in here!" (the food)

About 5 minutes after WH arrived, he commented on the music...asking if it was pandora (internet radio). I said yes, and that S and I were playing and I realized the TV was on but I wasn't watching it so I switched to music.

5 minutes ater I left for my pilates class...PILATES ROCKS! It felt soooo good afterward, like I had received a massage except I had exerted my ab muscles the whole time! Yeah, the instructor only had to come over to me once but went to another lady 5 times!Of course I couldn't lift my torso up off the floor when we were supposed to "roll up" but I will get there...lol

So I arrived home while WH was putting S to bed. I was getting myself an ice cream cone when he came downstairs and filled me in on the night. I went to the living room and he followed. He hung out for another 15 minutes and during this time said he noticed I recorded some real estate shows. I remembered them as home improvement shows, but sure enough, when I went to check the DVR they all had some words in the title like "sell" "real estate" "moving" haha! I just said that there were some remodeling tips I wanted to see (true). He didn't mention the sci fi show I had recorded! But at least he noticed the DVR which means it's a good idea for me to intentionally record certain shows.

He also told me that I didn't need to keep recording "Chuck" because he knows I don't really like it, right? (testing me I think to see if I would be true to myself) I honestly replied that I was looking for new shows and still likes to have that one as a "back up" because I like it "okay."

We also laughed at something about S and then he left. He never asked me what class I was taking even though I have only told him I was taking a class--never said what. And I leave the house fully dressed, not in work out clothes.

I felt it was a success-that he at least commented on the good smell, music, TV, we laughed (like old times)!

So today I didn't see him but he sent his usual text asking how S slept and I reported then complimented him on the good idea to give him a little more formula to tide him over until 5 a.m.

In the afternoon he sent another text inquiring about S. I managed to tell him and then slipped in a comment about how sweet it is when S lights up every time he sees him. He replied "he does the same for you!"

Now tomorrow I will be watching the sci fi show when he arrives, will wear a new blouse I bought, will leave the new bra out on the washing machine, and will be working out then gone for at least 5.5/6 hours. S and I will leave at 2 for our class; usually WH stays till 3:30 but we are kicking him out early tomorrow and next Wed for our class, haha!

My goals include being mysterious, physically distant, and my Art of Seduction goals are the same as well as appeal to his senses, be charming and mirror his interests (but I am only doing the interests that I share as well because I don't want to be phony or insincere).

[newmama]

Well today's plan isn't working the way I planned...He arrived 30 minutes earlier than normal so I didn't have the show on. I was still half asleep and needed to wake up with coffee so I played on the laptop for 45 minutes before working out. Then I worked out but he talked to me when I was taking a break.
I am sooo sleepy and no movies were playing in the time frame I need so I have been hanging around the house.

He's going on a "work trip" Feb 11-13 and wanted to make sure I still had a late night on a different night that week. I couldn't help it- I asked him where he was going. He told me. Then added he might have to go again sometime in the next few months. He asked if I had plans that Thurs night and I said yes but I could get his sister to babysit. He asked if I had "set" plans every Thursday or something. I just said "well...that night is Bunco.[true] But I will get a sub or ask your sister to babysit."
He said "oh I didn't realize that it was the second Thursday every month!"
But at least he was inquiring about my plans and I managed to be evasive!

OW's birthday is sometime around now...all I know is that she is an Aquarius so it's between 1/20 and 2/20. And we all know the 14th is V Day which is a Sunday this year. So he very well could be lying to me and going with her somewhere.

So I stayed away only 4 hours; been uploading photos from the camera and watched a little TV- my sci fi show. He didn't ask about it and I didn't say anything! I am not interacting with him although we are in the same room right now!

I am wearing my new pink "romantic style" blouse that is clingy with a plunging neckline and puffy short sleeves). I saw him look me up and down when I came into the room with it on!

Also have on the perfume he likes.I left my new bra out on the washer. Pretty sure he saw it because he did a load of laundry for S's clothes!

S and I will be going to our signing class in 20 minutes.

[mindfull]

Newmama - you are so methodical! I'm impressed!!! I think I'll get the book. I'm wearing a mustard yellow blouse just like yours right now, and then going out w/friends for dinner tonight. Good Luck!!! Wash that thought out of your mind about OW b-day and V-Day...

[newmama]

Mindfull, I am taking this DB job seriously--by trying to FOCUS my efforts on specific strategies and then monitor results! :-) Glad you think I am being methodical because that is my intention! This could all be for naught but at least I will know I did everything I could think of.

An online friend of mine from another forum was kind of doing what I've been doing since his wife asked to separate in August so she could be with OM. Well, they had been getting along well. Well, yesterday she asks him for a divorce and is steadily moving forward. She said she thought they might as well do it now since they've been "getting along so well!" Of course we both think some event with the OM triggered her because it was so abrupt. My point is I am still hoping for the best but prepared for the worst!

[newmama]

I ordered my V day gifts for myself...satin PJs from V Secret and a 1 lb box of chocolates from See's candy, to be shipped the week of Feb 8.

I will not eat all of the chocolates by myself...or I might take a bite out of each of them until I've eventually tried them all! :-)

Did I mention WH comes through the front door and carries in any packages? (I go through the garage mostly!)

[WhatNow]

I Love it! How fun!

I was thinking of ordering myself some roses thru Costco.com

Not that he'd see them but he'd hear about it! And I LOVE roses. I deserve roses!

BTW: I am reading AoS too. It frustrates me cuz it reminds me sooo much of OW. Hard to see myself in it.

[newmama]

Whatnow, like I said before, it was very hard reading it at first because I kept seeing OW all over it!! And I felt overwhelmed like how could I compete with a master manipulator like her without sex being a part of the equation. But then I aw that the art of seduction is 90% NON sexual and I thought "maybe..." After that I wondered where I could begin!
It reminded me of how hopeless and overwhelmed I was when it was time to make self improvements. But I started with one area at a time and it became easier.So I decided to do that with this seduction idea...found some approaches that fit me and then found WH's profile in the victim section.Also, tried to remember what I was like when we were dating...ummm...I was just myself and he loved it! But obviously I musy have been more conscientious of my appearance and his needs and was a bit more curious about him, etc.

So today: I will have the smell of the new candle in the house, will have the music on again when he arrives, will wear another new colorful blouse and perfume and lipstick. (I might look a little dressy for belly dancing, LOL!)

I loved that show, "Caprica," by the way! It is unique and timely with the Avatar movie...well they both have virtual reality type technology. I haven't seen Avatar yet. But I still won't talk about the show; he'll see it on the DVR every week!

And next week's meal will be chili in sourdough breadbowls with cheesy lids...one of his favorite meals but we have only had it at home one time before!

Also am working on filling picture frames with S's pics and putting them up. Sigh...another way that WH and I work well together. He takes the photos (very well) and I display them! He never has put the photos in frames but loves to look at them.

interests being mirrored so far this week: music, shows, photos
senses:visual,auditory,scent,taste