Michelle, I do agree an intact family is better. But her husband is not really part of the family. Even Dr. Phil states it's better to be from a broken home then to be in one. Her husband leaving and returning and back-forth has got to be anxiety provoking and stressful on the children.
I am a child of D. I am glad my parents D'ed. I could not stand the stress of the next big fight or what would happen next. I was worn out dealing with two upset parents. Seeing my mom crying all the time. At least with D there was peace in a sense. As a child you knew that there finally was some predictability to life. I did not worry about what I would come into. If my father would return home (no he was not cheating), etc. Nonsense like this...
Just my 2 cents
Maria, I wish you the best
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
June, what you posted are 70% my thoughts. But I have to trust myself with this. And I feel I am doing the right thing. Maybe it is taking a while longer than it should, but it is the right thing. And right is not always easy.
I will put my kids to bed and will be back. Hi girls!!! K
As others have said it seems as though your MC is constructive for the most part. This is truly a blessing. It can be so extremely difficult to find a C that both parties have a definite level of comfort with. It seems you have been blessed by the Lord with this rare find. I will pray fervently that it continues to blossom.
May the Holy Spirit drive any despair and discouragement away.
Thanks T!! How are you holding up? Will check on you later...
So, June, the way I see things we are at a turning point. In the MC we started slow but pretty soon all sorts of emotions surfaced, from both of us.
Taking a step back, H wants to "leave everything behind". Like most of the WASs do. No surprise there. Also, I can see that his fog never really allowed him to realise what was hapening to "US". I think his actions were consistent about that the whole time of the separation. I was "family" part of his past and important part of his life and she was...love.
Now, after that loved died (or so I hope), he turns to his family (me) again. I also hope that love played a role there but that is yet to be determined.
What he offers now, is what he thought would be acceptable. Before I split for good this time, cause I will, I need to allow some time for him to realise I mean business about a few things. You see, he left a devastated, begging person, that would settle for almost anything, to come back and find a woman that has digged (or dug sp?) her heels and demands things he wasnt prepared to give. He thought I would be responsible and take initiative ofr the rekindle phase. He is actually getting impatient at times. And some times, I can see him, coming out from his comfort zone. Especially the last couple of weeks.
Telling him he is not the man I need if he cant handle my emotions, believe me, made him stop and think. He froze there for a min. And that is exactly what is happening now: I could almost hear him thinking "OMG, could she be serious? Did I awake the sleeping dog? I created a ...monster!!". Because he expected me to be happy with the fact that he is back and then "we would take it from there". I think the fact that he is living here and I am not asking him to move back in, is bothering him, the pieces have started to fall to their places, the fact that when I talk about the future he is not included (comes naturally) makes him wonder. Pretty soon he will have to make a choice/choices. I dont know what he will do and I dont know my level of tolerance, but it is happening. Until then, I am doing my best making myself clear and hoping this whole messy situation will improve. If not, my dealbreakers havent been revoked and my license to kill is still valid/intact. K
older, missy!!!