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AWESOME! How'd the Hawks do tonight? smile I'm sure they rocked it with you and your S sitting there cheering them on.

Have a safe flight tomorrow. I hope the rain stays away long enough for your flight to not be delayed.

Love that she was nearly apoplectic over that....what a riot! Like she has any right to say one word to you. You're not being reckless with family finances. You have to replace the car that was totalled, no choice in that, and you found a great deal.

So what kind of SUV is it? What year? Mileage? I love to hear when someone found a fabulous deal on a car. smile


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

mishka422 #1922463 01/23/10 12:15 PM
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Thanks mishka. I sent you a message in the alt.

We had a great time last night. Looking forward to solving the vehicle issue. Will be nice to have that off my plate.

You know, the funny thing is I still default to the belief that since my W "checked out" some time ago, she should not care about what decisions I make for myself - such as the car. Why WOULD she care, unless I was hitting a MLC (one of us at a time please) and bought a Ferrari that we couldn't afford. But even then, there is no more "WE."

Legally, I understand we are still M'd. Hence, one (not all) of the reasons for being reasonable in replacing my car. But, it still surprises me she would stick her nose into this decision. I don't expect her to pay for my car any more than she should expect me to pay for hers once the D is done. I am probably making the critical mistake of trying to apply logic to an emotionsal decision by being surprised she still feels it's her place to "advise" me on a decision like the car thing.

Does she really think she has a right to involve herself in this when the decision I am making is reasonable and necessary? If there are any of the WAW's out there, I would love to hear your take.


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I think you are making too much of this. Why do you think that it is a rational thought process of your W? This is not the same person that you think you know. She is an alien being. She says whatever she feels like saying today and tomorrow it could be totally different. You are making the best decision about your car for you. Thats it. Get the car and move on drop the thought process of your W. You are not detached enough from her based on this thought process.

I speak from the same place. I am not detached enough in my thought process.

Glad you had a good time at the game. Hawks beat the Bobcats
103-89. Your son must have really enjoyed it!

Have a good flight!


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gima,
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
You know, the funny thing is I still default to the belief that since my W "checked out" some time ago, she should not care about what decisions I make for myself - such as the car. Why WOULD she care, unless I was hitting a MLC (one of us at a time please) and bought a Ferrari that we couldn't afford. But even then, there is no more "WE." Legally, I understand we are still M'd. Hence, one (not all) of the reasons for being reasonable in replacing my car. But, it still surprises me she would stick her nose into this decision. I don't expect her to pay for my car any more than she should expect me to pay for hers once the D is done. I am probably making the critical mistake of trying to apply logic to an emotionsal decision by being surprised she still feels it's her place to "advise" me on a decision like the car thing.
Does she really think she has a right to involve herself in this when the decision I am making is reasonable and necessary? If there are any of the WAW's out there, I would love to hear your take.
you're starting to let her rent too much space in you're head again. Beware.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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Originally Posted By: givingitmyall

You know, the funny thing is I still default to the belief that since my W "checked out" some time ago, she should not care about what decisions I make for myself - such as the car.


The word should is a ticket to hell. There is only what IS, and beating your head repeatedly against SHOULD will only give you a headache.

Your W is reacting in a way that makes (warped) sense to her. Perhaps she sees it as less money for HER. Who cares why she responds the way she does? Hold true to what's right for you, then smile and nod at the BATCHITCRAZY and lob an, "I'm sorry you feel that way," or, "I can see how you'd see it that way," at her. Then tra la la down the path and do what you were going to do in the first place.

SD


Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
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3/2008: Boundary setting
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gima, I agree with SD. And this:
Originally Posted By: SDFoundGirl
The word should is a ticket to hell.
is Great!. Thank you, SD.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1923161 01/25/10 04:08 AM
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Hey, congrats on the new car. I hope you had a great drive back to town.

Floor side seats at the Hawks game sounds great too!


M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09
Awoken's Current Thread
Awoken #1923166 01/25/10 04:12 AM
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Thanks guys.

And, yes, I agree, I am allowing my W too much space between my ears. I have worked on that over the weekend and on the drive back home yesterday.

Had a bit of that knot in my stomach over the D. But, I will keep moving forward. No other direction to go.


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gima,
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Had a bit of that knot in my stomach over the D. But, I will keep moving forward. No other direction to go.
That friggin 'knot is normal and chronic. At first.
And make sure that while you're moving forward your mind isn't heading backwards (a frequent challenge for me).


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1924906 01/27/10 04:36 PM
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Haven't posted much guys. Not much going on. My answer for the D petition is due next week. Don't know what it is W expects financially.

Wading through the range of emotions of all this. Handling it as well as possible. Still hurts.

Have been lurking on various threads here. Just wanted to check in to let you know I'm still around.


Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
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