Take the ring off. It is just one more thing to remind you of your situation. You could consider it a 180. And she might even notice and think "Oh no, Kevin is not wearing his ring. I am losing him."
Take the ring off. It is just one more thing to remind you of your situation. You could consider it a 180. And she might even notice and think "Oh no, Kevin is not wearing his ring. I am losing him."
Agreed! She sees you 'standing' as being a pushover. Its so not attractive Kevin.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Kevin - this is the second major life thing your W has done in less than a week and did so by "bomb dropping" on you.
First, after mucking up the plans last weekend to suit HER schedule she casually drops the news at a b-day dinner for her own daughter that they are moving. Your kids had no clue, you had no clue. Your W had no respect for you as a "co-parent" to even discuss uprooting the children or at the very least letting you know the plan before the children were told.
If she wants to take you off the insurance, well, fine, her choice. She certainly can find the time to text/call you when she needs something but didn't feel it was necessary to tell you about the insurance until you got a letter in the mail. No respect.
Now her bills have decreased as you said COBRA was less expensive, your bills remain the same and YOU are without health coverage and didn't find out until after the fact. Not to mention during this time you told her you would financially have her back. She wasn't really worried about "your back" when she took you off the insurance w/o advance notice so you could find your own.
I guess what I am trying to say is look at all that disrespect that happened over the course of SEVEN days and what is the end result? A movie.
As me and W are walking out together she tells me she wants to reward the kids tomorrow by taking them to see the tooth fairy movie. I said I was thinking the same things. W said she wanted to know if I wanted to be part of that. I said yes and I was going to ask her the same thing.
So we will do that for the girls tomorrow. Kevin
Start being honest with yourself, Kevin. You're not doing it for the girls. You're doing it for you.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
It may be worldly unattractive. But it still means the same thing today as the day I put it on when I got married. I have taken it off at times in the past and I regret doing that now. So I will not take it off anymore.
I think I left out a peice of info regarding the insurance. W had mentioned some time back that I needed to look into an insurance plan, at the time I assumed she meant for the kids and I. I am not sure. But the insurance plan I have through my agency is just as ridiculously high as the one she had. So I didn't bother with it. I figured with me not asking for any form of C/S which I could technically ask for, and with me picking up the C bill and halfing the others, it would just offset. Nothing more was discussed recently. Then yes, I got the letter. Then yes, she told me her and the kids are on COBRA now and it is far cheaper.
Ok, so I am without healthy insurance and I am possibly about to be without a job unless another comes through soon.
I am however going tonight to a business meetup that is talking about 8 ways to make money on line and business modeling. I figured this would be good to attend if nothing else for information matters.
The steering wheel on my car started making noises today. I knew it was getting tighter, but now it is making noises.
lol. You really just have to laugh about all of this or else you will go nuts.
In the past, these circumstances would have pushed me into a severe depression. However, this time around, I am not letting that happen. I will come out of this ok. It may be a bit tight and stressful some, but I will be ok.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I love her for her even though I get frusturated with her actions at times. She is fun loving towards most. She is outgoing and enjoys life. Her life is actually going great for her. Her career definitely helps that out. Before she got her job that helped launch all of this, she did stress a lot about money and took us into debt. But now this has allowed her to breathe in that area and really take life by the horns. She is a positive person. She is smart. She is confident in herself. She is God's daughter and it is my responsibility to treat her that way no matter how hurt or frusturated I may become. She is attractive. Apparently she gets hit on all the time and she has built up quite a social network.
I don't agree with some of her actions the past 17 months. We all make mistakes or have flaws or whatever you want to call it. We don't all agree on everything.
I will say this. I don't feel that I owe her an apology any longer. I think 17 months is long enough to have made amends for any of my wrong doings in the M. But I do have an ethical stance that needs to be taken even though it has taken a hit at times through this through nobody's fault but my own.
Drew, the movie really is for the kids and I also do want to see the movie. Going to movies is actually a bit of a 180 for me as I refused to go for so long and I would not find any enjoyment out of it. Now I am finding enjoyment in them again.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I guess I really don't have anything else to say to you ...
In 108 pages of posts, which is WAY over the moderator's suggested limit BTW, I can't recall ONE time where you actually did something that someone here suggested. We all need to live our own lives, but I thought we came here to learn from the experiences and mistakes of others in similar situations.
You come here and complain that your wife walks all over you and then at the first opportunity, you let her walk all over you. You say she doesn't, but pretty much everyone here but you sees it. Not once in your description of your wife did you mention how she is TO YOU.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
