K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

You come here and complain that your wife walks all over you and then at the first opportunity, you let her walk all over you. You say she doesn't, but pretty much everyone here but you sees it. Not once in your description of your wife did you mention how she is TO YOU.

The past 17 months she has gone from being extremely angry and cold and harsh to becoming more cordial and friendly towards me. Prior to any of this, she was wonderful towards me. I couldn't have asked for better companionship and loyalty.

She was also a great mother prior to this. Once this started, that fell off and she lost interest in her kids. She has since regained that and is really becoming a good mother to them again.

I do learn a ton from this forum. But also understand that what may work in one person's sitch doesn't always work in anothers sitch. Divorcing her wouldn't have any affect on her that I could see. Plus it would be going against what the bible says when it says "Husbands, do not divorce your wives". Now people can say what they want about that and that I am hiding behind that and whatever. I have heard it all. But that verse ALWAYS pops in my mind when someone mentions to me filing for D. I don't think that is a coincidence.

I am a terrible DBuster. I can't deny that. I like KerryK's idea. I am considering that.

Kevin

[Drew]

1. I never once told you to divorce her
2. Read Matthew 5:32

[K4D]

1. I never once told you to divorce her
2. Read Matthew 5:32

Drew, I didn't say that you told me to file for D. Others have.

I know what Matthew 5:32 says. But I also know what it was referring to during the jewish culture at that time. A lot of people don't look into that or know the history or circumstances surrounding that. I will briefly explain here at the risk of being pummeled because it isn't popular.

When Jesus said that, he was referring to the engagement period. In jewish customs at that time, an engagement was considered a formal contract to be married. The sacraments had not yet been placed on the marriage. Joseph was going to divorce Mary because he had thought that she had been unfaithful. Keep in mind, this is during the betrothal period. This is accepted only during this period. However, we all know that the angel came and spoke to Joseph and informed him of what was really going on. Joseph was obediant to God and did not seek D. The sacraments were placed on the M. Once the sacraments are placed on the M, it is final. There is no option to D. You can do a history search on jewish betrothal during biblical times.

Matthew 5:32 is completely taken out of context by so many who don't understand the history and culture behind it. There were only certain reasons you could end a betrothal and that was one of them. Again, you were considered M at that point, but it was not officially valid until the sacraments were placed on the M. Remember also, God doesn't contradict himself in the bible. Hince, "Husbands, do not divorce your wives". And "W's if you divorce your H, you are to remain single or be reconciled back to your H's". Unfaithfulness only applies if the M has not yet been consecrated as valid.

So just a short history lesson there for any interested. The catholic church backs this up.

Kevin

[Drew]

I give up.

[MrBond]

That's a pretty long list of positives about your W.

Okay, let's see your list of positives about yourself.

[K4D]

I will respond on my new thread I just started. Here is the link.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1922048&#Post1922048

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

Kevin - this is the second major life thing your W has done in less than a week and did so by "bomb dropping" on you.

First, after mucking up the plans last weekend to suit HER schedule she casually drops the news at a b-day dinner for her own daughter that they are moving. Your kids had no clue, you had no clue. Your W had no respect for you as a "co-parent" to even discuss uprooting the children or at the very least letting you know the plan before the children were told.

If she wants to take you off the insurance, well, fine, her choice. She certainly can find the time to text/call you when she needs something but didn't feel it was necessary to tell you about the insurance until you got a letter in the mail. No respect.

Now her bills have decreased as you said COBRA was less expensive, your bills remain the same and YOU are without health coverage and didn't find out until after the fact. Not to mention during this time you told her you would financially have her back. She wasn't really worried about "your back" when she took you off the insurance w/o advance notice so you could find your own.

I guess what I am trying to say is look at all that disrespect that happened over the course of SEVEN days and what is the end result? A movie.

Oh AND he's still wearing the ring so that she notices b/c....b/c....he's "Standing"...which means NO changing. Just standing and waiting, b/c frankly, it's the easiest thing for him to do and it's familiar. Change is way too scary.
Even though he KNOWS it's not working, he continues the same course of action. "Waits" and then finds out he has no insurance BUT he'd watch her back and lend her money he does not have...To me, that is NOT standing unless you mean standing STILL...for the 5447th time.
I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's offered....
My prayer for you is:
"Please dear God, let Kevin learn and grow from this. Guide him in the changes he must make, and lessen his many fears, including fear of change- so he can become the man you want him to become."
j-