Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[chatterbug]

pub what where... I am in.

Black velvet for cutter.

[newmama]

OH I WISH you guys were close to me but I am probably 3 hours time difference away from you all. I live on the West coast in Oregon!

Oh well I feel connected to you anyway here on DB forum!
I totally didn't think of the possibility of him testing me when he mentioned looking for daycare closer to the freeway! Well how did I do? I just nodded like "oh yeah no big deal" and said "yeah!" then changed the subject. That was good right?

Well tonight I bought my book, The Art of Seduction, and it is pretty good so far but it reminds me of something I would read in a college class. I did take a class called "The Philosophy of Sex and Love" and this book would be a perfect assignment for that class! It is not a light read. So I will need to study it during the time I can; maybe more so on Saturday when WH has S from 8-4.

I did glean that I am a "charmer" when it comes to my seduction style but it said we could be a blend of more than one type. And WH is "sensual" but I think there is more, so I will figure it out and report later!

So tonight I was gussied up and wearing lipstick with my "going out" shoes. I informed WH about S's day and then left. He usually says "have fun!" but just said "see you later" tonight. I went to the bookstore, bought the book, then read it over a couple glasses of red wine like I planned. A little while later, my class started so I arrived and changed into the appropriate clothing.

There were 20 women or so and 1 man! (????) Right away the instructor came to me to help me (I AM NOT coordinated! But after watching and listening I will achieve a C performance usually.) I still had a lot of fun and can't wait to go back! I need to purchase a "coin skirt" so it will ching and chang while I shake my hips Shikira style! The thing about learning these moves is that no one else outside of belly dancing students or experts will know if I am NOT doing the right moves. So when I show others what I have learned they will be impressed regardless!
Then I changed back into my clothes and went to a nearby restaurant for some salad and bruschetta while I read more of my book. I made sure to take time so I didn't come back too early!

When I arrived home, WH was just watching TV. S was asleep. He didn't ask me what I was doing and I asked him how S did. So we chatted about S and then he said he was going to get going and he'd check with us in the morning.

I just feel good--even though I am not down to my pre-preg weight yet, I do look good (chubby girls can still have curves!) and am 10 pounds or less away from the heaviest I have been with WH.

I'm hoping my confidence is radiating as well as my "secret" about the class I'm taking!
So that's it for now...

[newmama]

Just putting in a quick post. I am still reading The Art of Seduction still and will be posting reflections and thoughts soon.

Currently I am playing (new) Super Mario Bros on my wii and having fun! I sure don't get to play it as much as I thought but hopefully once S goes back to sleeping longer at night I will be able to. There are some other games I want to play but will get to them!

My house got a little messy yesterday and it bothered me that it had to be in this state when WH came to get S. After this post I am working out and then cleaning it. I don't want him to think my changes are superficial! But the reality too is that I was so busy with company and the baby shower that I didn't get much of a chance to clean up! But when he gets S he will see that it was cleaned again.

Now whenever he comes to pick up S and takes S over there I am not as nice as usual, haha! I mean I am just kind of like "hi, yeah he ate at this and this time. Ok see you later!" He was almost asking me what clothes S should wear like I was going to help him pack the clothes or prepare for his visit??? give me a break!

So luckily today is the last 8-4 visit and then next weekend S will be back by 12 so if I sleep in I won't have to miss S for too long! I am trying to figure out if I want to leave the house next Friday night or just "pretend" like I am leaving. In the future weeks, I will plan something to do but I might just want to stay in my own house and relax.

[newmama]

I worked out for over an hour with a break in the middle and got my cleaning done. When WH arrived I still had the music playing and was on my laptop, fresh and sparkly. I jumped up and practically grabbed S out of his arms. He said S would be needing a bottle and a nap so I immediately got it ready while he was in the bathroom. When he came out, I was already feeding S. He said "Oh, I was going to make you a bottle." Then he said "well S was in a pretty good mood all day and he did great!" I said,"good." (picture bored tone of voice) He asked if there was anything I needed before he left and I said "no thanks." Then finally he said his last goodbye and said "well I'll see you tomorrow!" I said "ok, bye!" The reason why I am sharing this fascinating summary (LOL) is because WH tried to do acts of service but I didn't let him AND I was being polite but not too nice or too rude.

[WhatNow]

OMG! I just checked out the table of contents on Amazon for Art of seduction. This is OW's manual! She must be following it play by play. And my dufus H, Duhs along. I wonder when she will slip up? I've gotta get the book to fight fire with fire! nm, what are you thinking about it??

[newmama]

Whatnow, the Art of Seduction reeks of OW for me too...It has been so hard to get through because I see her manipulation on every page!

Ways to seduce: be their friend (CHECK), get their sympathy (CHECK), drop sexual hints (CHECK), mirror their tastes and interests (CHECK), raise their curiosity and then ignore them (CHECK), make them open up to you and convince them they are sad and unhappy (CHECK), be their sexual fantasy woman (CHECK)show you have opposite sex characteristics (CHECK)...there are more.
I think she did practically every technique except stay on the periphery and befriend his friends. Nope she moved right on in. AN EXPERT MANIPULATOR!

So now I need to be able to shake her image from my head when I read it and try to think of what I did to seduce WH and see if I want to employ any of those techniques now.

I do see the 180 being a seductive technique because as everyone knows, when you are not around anymore, the other person misses you. When you are quiet and "mysterious" it is alluring because it raises the other person's curiosity, and the AoS even said that sometimes being cruel can cause the "victim" of your seduction to be interested in you.

It has confirmed some common sense things we know like being too eager or coming on too strong makes you look insecure, but there were some other techniques that surprised me. Depending on your victim, you might want to "need their help" or "get their sympathy" It didn't say "If you are someone whose spouse left you due to an affair with another person, these are ways to get your spouse back." Nope. So I haven't gotten to the meat of the plan or "how to" yet.

Today when WH comes over I will leave and take my book with me to a coffee shop to study more.

[WhatNow]

I am off to the bookstore this afternoon!

I am tempted to send it to OW (via H) thanking her for the loan!
Even then, H would refuse to see the manipulation. He refuses to "see" the obvious things she's said. Like "my H is a drinker and gets violent" "I am afraid he will come after us". Everyone who knows him, has never seen this behavior from him and when A was exposed, his reply was "I don't want to hear anymore, I am done with her." I thought H was smarter than all this.....

[newmama]

I know what you mean, Whatnow, OW told WH that her now exH drugged her with her own pills and raped her when she was unconscious. He told me the story and I totally believed it because her exH is pretty much a loser but then I told it to a friend of mine who said that it sounded like fabrication for sympathy! I am so naive and trusting, damnit! No longer...

But my WH can't stand to be controlled or manipulated so it is hysterical that he succumbed to her manipulation!

[P17]

He refuses to "see" the obvious things she's said. Like "my H is a drinker and gets violent" "I am afraid he will come after us". Everyone who knows him, has never seen this behavior from him and when A was exposed, his reply was "I don't want to hear anymore, I am done with her." I thought H was smarter than all this.....

My W told OM that I beat her ... yes, the man who never ever lifted his hand to his W suddenly became a violent man.

Newmama, did you mention this is in the AoS - sympathy?

[newmama]

Yes, P and nice to see you stop by! Sympathy is one of the methods!! But what did W's OM do to allure her?