Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Hope.. well we usually go back over things, retrace our steps, review, revise and revisit things (people, the past, decisions etc) whilst Mercury is re-trograde as it has been and then after this thinking/information gathering few weeks, we move forwards once again refreshed when Mercury goes direct. This is why you shouldnt buy anything electrical whilst Mercury is going backwards as oftgen, once it moves forwards again, you change your mind about it, or it isnt fit for the purpose anymore. Mercury rules communications, messages, texts, phones, the mind, etc.

Eclipses also shake things up and shunt us back onto the correct path.. thats a 4 day window (so 2 days either side teh eclipse for potency).. so if things have altered to you around the eclipse/Mercury direct, I would trust thats a new direction. Eclipses can affet things over the long term 6 months - 3 years, depending on how they impact your chart. Certianly, their effects can be felt until the next pair of eclipses, in 6 months time, which will be again in Cancer/Capricorn.

[kat727]

Thanks for stopping over! I answered on my thread but thought I would hop over here too. Yesterday I was just really not able to focus(perhaps still a bit sick) and even felt a tad dizzy. Anyway couldn't think of some obvious stuff and I contacted flirt guy. He e-mailed right back and even later in the day sent me a link with info. So I suppose that is good, though I felt like a bit of a dunce that I couldn't think straight. lol

Computer at home has a virus thanks to something my kids did while I was sick. So now I will get to deal with that. I know you have said your BF is a Leo, when is his birthday? Mine is the 27th of July. Just wondering.

Have fun this weekend!

kat

[AliSuddenly]

Hey thats interesting Kat! I posted to you because I wondered if you had had any contact with flirty guy, I almost asked, but then I didnt want to put ideas in your head ! Seems like you felt compelled to contact him anyway, wow.

BF's bd is 21 August, so he is quite a late Leo but a Leo nonetheless.

Well we tried to go help at shelterbox.org, they were packing up another 1000 crates of emergency tent/cooking/water equipment to be flown to Haiti, but they had too many people helping already. We have to call back tommorow, they are doing 3 more packs. Its just awful isnt, makes you grateful.

[mishka422]

That's great that you had a place to go volunteer help Ali. Better that they didn't need the help right then because they had too many! That is a rare indeed.

We're raising money all over the place here. The disaster in Haiti definitely brings a lot of our problems into perspective doesn't it? I have been sitting here trying to find coupons to use at the grocery to save more money and then I turn on CNN and hear more of the personal stories and see the devastation and it makes me feel ridiculous for trying to save a buck. I decided right then to make this a personal challenge for myself. Save as much money as possible with my coupons and store sales and whatever I save I am turning around to donate. My church is collecting money for World Vision. If you haven't heard of it, they are an organization that specializes in distributing food and clean water to some of the most impoverished areas of the world. They were already doing great work in Haiti (recovery efforts from the multiple hurricanes) and have ramped it up to deal with the disaster.

How about everyone here making a challenge to themselves to donate x amount of time or money or both to relief efforts? What do you say guys?

[Butterfly1]

Thanks Ali - Two days before the eclipse H and I had our most open R talk yet - instigated by him. Also, for three weeks previously (the retrograde?) H did a turnaround and started being home more, more relaxed, and more open. This looks like the start of something hopeful. After nine months, I sure hope so!

Sorry for th hijack - good luck with the baby making

[Walking]

I have read Deepak Chopra, thanks. I like Pema Chodron too

Good. So when you reflect on their philosophies how do you think your sitch would stack up?

What do you those philosophies would guess about a soul who was making decisions to fall pregnant with an emotionally and at times physically impotent (without the assistance of anti-depressant medication) man? Do you think they'd draw any correlation between the sign of impotence and the authenticity of the decision to pro-create?

Ali I know I'm pushing your buttons and I'm not really enjoying it - but you know this stuff and for some reason you are pretending you don't. I don't get that.

V

[smith18]

Ali -

I think you are making some rash decisions now about trying to have children. Some of it is because your age, some because of your joy of winning your BF back and maybe some hidden feelings that a child will keep him from straying again.

It was just a month ago that your BF was lost and needing to get on AD's and see an IC. And he has been on AD's before only to end up saying they do not work. I see you denying some of the great advice that Naej and Walking is mentioning. I noticed your frustration post on FB about getting away from DB site and I suspect it may be because of the posts by Walking and Naej which may be triggering some doubts you have in your mind that you dont wish to address.

Why do you and BF not get married?

Why cant you wait at least 6 months or more to see whether you BF is really back before trying to conceive? Or are you of the mindset that if the R does not work out that you would still prefer raising a child as a single parent?

I dont know. Maybe I am reading it wrong, but going back the last couple months, I just get a strange vibe that you are going too quick on trying to get pregnant before making sure that the R is fully reconciled.

[AliSuddenly]

Hey guys.. I'm not frustrated about posting here, I have made great friends here who really helped me through a difficult time in my life. But like others before me, a time will come to ‘fly the nest’ and stop posting..

I started a knitting class this week.. OMG I am so excited about it, I have wanted to knit since I was 7 (tried a few times)! I am also starting adult ballet tonight, cant wait! I loved ballet at 4, but my parents couldn’t afford the fees. BF had his second golf class last night.. he was very pleased with his swing ! He has always wanted to learn to play. And we are looking for a guitar teacher locally to help us improve. And bf has definetly turned a corner, although its something he will always need to keep an eye on.

BTW, the decision to have children is in NO WAY to do with keeping him, worrying that he may stray again or holding our R together. I cannot stress strongly enough how incorrect that is and how secure and loved I feel, even if we DIDNT have children! My decision is not based on FEAR that he will leave or not love me anymore, my FEAR is my own and its natural to be scared...because I have lived a very free life and I still have so many things I want to do. But I'm sure we will cope and love it.

Walking, he was never physically impotent or unable to ML (TMI!) but he did have some mental issues about it for a short spell, to do with him processing his guilt about how he behaved toward me. From what I have read, that that is perfectly normal for men in Piecing and in no way a sign from the universe that he shouldn’t procreate!! We have talked a lot, over the years about having a family and its just.. time. And yes sure it would be nice to have a few more years to kickback, travel and just enjoy life with bf, but woman just don't have that luxury Kerry and the reality is that time IS a factor.

There is no benefit in waiting 6 months, we are fully reconciled and our R is stable. And after 11 years together, I don’t regard us as moving too quick on this!! I could even be pregnant already

And Kerry bf practically proposed on Friday! He asked if I still wasn’t bothered about having a wedding (owing to my feminist, atheist upbringing and it not being something my parents ever instilled in me). I told him things change.. I may have had that opinion before owing to my childhood conditioning, but I wanted to get M now. So that solves the riddle about why he hasn’t asked me! I could have asked him of course, but I wanted him to ‘own it’ and to have the joy of asking for my hand in M..

I can't say that my life and decisions are perfect, but I know I am on the right path...

[Kalni]

I dont understand where all this comes from. I think just as we do with our Best friends we come here to worry and say everything that bothers us because we feel safe and can be honest.

BUT still, I dont see where all this concern comes from? Ali's BF has asked her to marry him twice so far if I can recall, they own houseS together,they've been together for 11 YEARS with an 18 months break which they overcame even though there were no kids or other obligations to cloud their brains. They are together now because of FREE WILL and conscious decision and not because of money/kids/etc etc.

I think THAT is WONDERFUL!!! When I saw them together, I realised what Ali kept saying about them being so connected etc etc. A chance for them to go another crisis is always possible and probably will always be. But now Ali KNOWS that. Right Ali?

If it is early or not for a baby, I think that is a personal decision. I wonder if I am missing something because I do care for Ali very much and if there is something there that is alarming I hope someone points it out to me...

Ali, I hope you udenrstand, all people here are reaching out to help...
K

[saffie]

There is never a 'perfect' time to have children. It is a personal decision and as such should be respected.

On the knitting front Ali.....I am a real knitting fan......used to knit garments for shop window displays as a student to help bring in extra income. L
ook out for a lady called Debbie Bliss. She has a 'How to....' manual/ guide that is great and the patterns she creates are great and classified into how easy/difficult they are. Her designs for both adults and children are sublime.