Thanks for checking in on me. I am handling it. Feeling a VERY empty love tank.
W tried to engage me in conversation about the car shopping which, for the 1st time ever, I have not included her in. And I think that MIGHT bother her. She asked how the car shopping was going and if I had reached a settlement with the other guy's insurance company. She also wanted to know if "we" had gap insurance. I responded with short answers that I was still looking, no agreement wiith ins. Co and no gap ins. Then went back to looking at my laptop.
Managing my nervousness about my job. Review time always does that to me. Decided to give that one to God but haven't fully let go.
S and I are heading back out to look at another car.
gima, Catching up after a few days off. With the D, job anxiety, car being totaled, etc., you remain one of the most resilient, positive, strongest men I know.
Put that in yer ol'love tank today, buddy!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
With the D, job anxiety, car being totaled, etc., you remain one of the most resilient, positive, strongest men I know.
Yes, what Gardner said.
Originally Posted By: GIMA
Times like this is where faith comes in. It has to. I have to trust that God will not give me more than I can handle. I have to trust that no matter what, God will provide for me (with my hard work included of course). I have to trust that all of this happens for a reason and He knows what is better for me than I do.
Yes, again.
(((GIMA)))
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
GIMA - I had a huge anxiety attack the day H and I finalized the separation papers. This seems to be more of a normal reaction than we'd like to think. It does open the floodgates to all our emotions - this whole thing is traumatizing. I hear how strong and clear you are most of the time, but there is no shame in allowing your feelings out.
I had a panic attack so bad one night I threw up. Just like that. It was weird. Comes with the territory. You'll get through - and get that boat.
(((GIMA))))
And, I definitely think you should get info on MLC as I think your W is in one.
Hey GIMA, I recall being where you are, things will get better. It is so darn tough to be in the same house with Stbxw.
Keep focus on you, kids, and what your doing and where you want to go, stay dark as you can.
Staying dark is for your benefit as well, helps to keep your focus on you. When you drift at times to wondering what your stbxw is doing or thinking, try some keyword thoughts, or actions, that will help push your thoughts back to you and what you want.
Interestingly, for myself, I use one of the four agreements. "Don't take it personally" when I start to drift to stbxw in my thoughts, I actually say that in my mind. It snaps me back to the fact that she is on her own journey and it has nothing to do with me. Then I can return my focus to myself and d8 and brings my emotions back as well.
Have a great day GIMA, for you and your kids today!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
