Forward's new thread

[forward]

I know that that's true on an intellectual level, but on an emotional level, it is still painful.

That said, I do need to consider that X generally did not behave that way prior to MLC.

I have begun a new project that I am enjoying. Overall, I do not know if I will have much, if anything, to report on R at this point.

[braveheart]

Forward, its irrelevant how your H was prior to this, he is what he is now. Forget him and move on! What project are you working on?

[forward]

A project for work; hoping it will help me change direction career-wise!

As far as X...BH, look, everybody who is in here had an experience where MLCer was a different person and seemed to go through a crisis. Yes, we think about how our WASs were prior to this. That is why we are here. Note that Michelle also believes MLC is "real," which doesn't mean that the X's will come back, but most of us have some hope that there will eventually be an expression of regret for actions, etc.. I think this helps with closure, if nothing else.

And now back to me. I sort of fell off wagon w/weight-lifting for a time because I had H1N1 and then bronchitis, but I am hoping to get back to it for the new year. I returned to Pilates class and that has taken up some time but is also strengthening me. Although I still need a lot more exercise, I am doing

[braveheart]

Forward, I understand about hope and what not, but you also have to be realistic. After a few years and nothing changing, you really have to accept things for what they are. If I have learned one thing here, its this: these people would rather live in lice before they admitted doing wrong.

[forward]

I do not seek or initiate contact of any kind any more. I do periodically notice a tiny bit of lingering or some curiosity but that is about it.

X does seem to be slightly more interested in our D, observing some things that are affecting her.

[forward]

I have no sense of what X is doing and have to admit that I am tempted to pursue, but I haven't.

It is so cold and gloomy this time of year, and it's post-holiday and back to work and all--I have to say that I can understand that I am feeling gloomy myself and am able to resist snooping.

[forward]

I notice that X is less entitled than he used to be, and less angry.

He hasn't been lingering but I am not particularly concerned about it, either.

[forward]

I count about two months that I have been very dim for X, communicating only with regard to our D.

I did this for myself, to help me heal, and I think it has been helpful. I am rebuilding a social life now and that feels good.

I got some info that made me worry that X will move away from here w/OW. It worries me because of our D. I do not think that X is happy but I am beginning to not care.

D has been not thrilled about going to X's lately. She clings to me a lot.

[forward]

Actually, I guess it is more about one month that I have been dark. That's not very long.

[dncrm]

Hi forward,

Thought I'd come over here and pay you a visit. I was happy to see that you were taking care of yourself by going to the gym and pilates class. For me exercise class was a stress releaser. Actually that's always my best advice for anyone going through this. I could be having a bad day feeling very low and down on myself, but after I had pushed myself to work out I felt as if I had done something nice that would improve my life.

Going dim, good for you. Emotionally I became so much healthier when I pulled back and was unavailable. So think of this more for you. Besides, there's a great big world out there and you never know what life may hold for you. So for me going dim means no more dodging his moods, insults, or his emotional unavailability that hurts our feelings and leaves us with that awful emptyness. This will make you stronger and get you where you need to be. At some point we all have to let them do whatever it is they think will make them happy. Personally I don't think they have a clue but it's best they find out without any interference from us. In the meantime you might just find some happiness with the life you are creating.

*Hugs*