Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I don't have the book on hand and I am not bringing a date. Actually I am bringing 2 dates. Both of my D's.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Change the dynamic. Throw HER for a loop for a change. See what happens. What have you got to lose?
By wearing a polo and showing her I still don't care about my appearance when that was a big gripe of hers prior to all of this? I'm not sure that is a 180.
Bringing a date I know shows her that I have moved on and no longer feel the need to have her in my life. But it also sends a message to her, my girls, and everyone else that I do not want to convey. While we have both done are fair share of things that are wrong in this process, I would like to think I can reflect a positive tone and image that shows where we should be, not where we could be.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Just want to point out that, as 25 has told you a butt-load of times here, truly moving on is the ONLY way that she will ever be attracted to you again. There's no guarantee that she ever will be attracted to you again regardless...but it's pretty foolproof that if you don't truly move on...she NEVER will be attracted to you again! I'm not trying to hurt you Kevin. I'm on your side.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Kevin, those were suggestions. I'm asking you to change one thing, ONE thing in how you interact with her, that shows you have an identity of your own, one that isn't defined by her.
Have your counselor explain to you the two circles that picture a healthy relationship. It's easier when you draw it, but I'll try: One circle is you, one circle is her. If the two circles are completely separate, that's not good. In a healthy relationship, the circle's overlap, but not completely. That means you have a good thing together, but you also have your own separate identities and interests that you bring to the relationship.
Your circle is completely inside her's.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Just want to point out that, as 25 has told you a butt-load of times here, truly moving on is the ONLY way that she will ever be attracted to you again. There's no guarantee that she ever will be attracted to you again regardless...but it's pretty foolproof that if you don't truly move on...she NEVER will be attracted to you again! I'm not trying to hurt you Kevin. I'm on your side.
Thanks Antlers. I think I can show moving on without bringing a date to a family birthday dinner for D8. I just don't think that would reflect well in any light especially to the kids. There are other ways to show I have moved on though. By completely focusing on my kids tonight and showing no real attention to W is one way.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
