I am not even kidding. I need to meet you so I can free myself from the WTF? that resides in my brain when you speak.
What I see here cannot be the real you, can it?
I never feel any fun from you. Are you fun? Do you ever HAVE FUN?
I do have fun. I go out and have fun with other people. I have fun with my kids. Granted I spend a lot of time worrying about what is going to happen in my sitch and when and what the outcome might be, and where I might end up at that point. Don't a lot of people in our sitches?
Quote:
You are addicted to your pain. It's masochistic. You need to find value in yourself WITHOUT her. When you do, she might start respecting you.
I am addicted to my pain? No, I am not addicted to pain. I don't find pleasure in hurting. I have plenty of value in myself. I need to get back to the dance scene. Haven't been there for a while. I also like to take day trips. I have not done that in forever. I need to plan some again. Get out of town for the day and go somewhere fun.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I like the new name and new attitude. It fits you well.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Where does the church stand on the other issues in your life (example: making out with somebody while you were married and standing?)
Thats a no no.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
But you did that... you kissed a woman you met in a bar while you were married and standing. So, in the eyes of the Church both you and your W committed adultery.
I am not even kidding. I need to meet you so I can free myself from the WTF? that resides in my brain when you speak.
What I see here cannot be the real you, can it?
I never feel any fun from you. Are you fun? Do you ever HAVE FUN?
I do have fun. I go out and have fun with other people. I have fun with my kids. Granted I spend a lot of time worrying about what is going to happen in my sitch and when and what the outcome might be, and where I might end up at that point. Don't a lot of people in our sitches?
Quote:
You are addicted to your pain. It's masochistic. You need to find value in yourself WITHOUT her. When you do, she might start respecting you.
I am addicted to my pain? No, I am not addicted to pain. I don't find pleasure in hurting. I have plenty of value in myself. I need to get back to the dance scene. Haven't been there for a while. I also like to take day trips. I have not done that in forever. I need to plan some again. Get out of town for the day and go somewhere fun.
Kevin
I know you go out, but I don't think you are putting yourself OUT there. What is the most fun you have had in the last two weeks?
Yes, you do spend a lot of time worrying about your sitch, and no, most of us do not spend that much time worrying about our sitch. I am 2 months into this, and while I would prefer to stay married, I'm okay if I don't. I love myself. No way in hell I'm going to pine away after some dude who left. Next! LOL
She left. You can't control the sitch or the outcome. Life is short. If you died today, you would have wasted the last year.
What about the issue of abandonment in the church? When exh left me, I asked our priest what to do. He said that since exh had abandoned the marriage I was also free to move on. I think there are certain things that are acceptable to move on to another R eventually.
As far as wondering whether the marriage is legit in the church's eyes...it doesn't even seem like a issue now anyway. It would be more of an issue if you were still married (like a normal husband and wife) if I got that correctly.
Last edited by Startingover2; 01/15/1004:44 PM.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
it doesn't even seem like a issue now anyway. It would be more of an issue if you were still married (like a normal husband and wife) if I got that correctly.
It isn't an issue. Kevin is making it an issue because he needs an issue to focus on.
I know you go out, but I don't think you are putting yourself OUT there. What is the most fun you have had in the last two weeks?
SG,
I am not sure where you are going with putting myself out there. Can you further elaborate?
As far as the past 2 weeks, last weekend I went out Friday night with friends to a hangout place and had a good time socializing with all of them. Saturday I went over to a friends house and watched the Cowboys play. This week I had my business friends show up and started putting our business plan together. We ordered pizza and had a good time while also getting everyone's roles in place and the idea and what to do for next week. Believe it or not, that was fun to me because it was something we wanted to do, not something we were expected to do.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
