Seven days and still no word from my H. Today I am hurting much more than I thought I would. I know, 7 days is nothing for someone in MLC. I just can't help but feel he has choosen a life without me in it.
That isn't necessarily true. When my H did that at the end is when he needed that solitude to get himself straight. They do alot of thinking and soul searching. Hang in there!
Up - what kind of "fun" things are you doing for YOU these days?? Here in MO it got to -15 last night. We've had 24 inches of snow since Christmas Eve (very unusual), and a high yesterday of 3 degrees. It's supposed to get to a balmy 23 today! I've had enough of winter and dream of returning to CA----or AZ, or somewhere with some warmth! We had 3 snow days last week (no school), and my office even closed for Thursday and Friday. I've been catching up on some long avoided cleaning and organizing. Even hanging some curtains!
I hope you're doing well.................
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Hi yr-Solitude seems to be what my H wants since it seems he has chosen it over our M. I wish I knew what was going through his head right now. I wonder if he thinks he is doing this for me...letting me go so I can move forward with my life since he can't. I hope for my H's sake, he can get himself straight someday.
Hi di- I am doing okay today...better than yesterday. I keep hearing how cold it is everywhere in the country except for CA. I think it is supposed to be 79 degrees here today. Come on out...I have plenty of room.
I need to do some cleaning and organizing too. I have just been in too much of a funk to get much done.
Boy do I know funk!! I may be inching out of it a bit, because the motivation to clean really hit----and a little progress fuels the work. It's obviously not keeping my brain from working over-time. Everything I touch reminds me of H, and the fact that he's not here....................thus the thoughts on my thread.
You have had movement (in slow motion), and although I can only imagine this kind of frustration, it is movement-----despite the 8 days of NC. If it were me, I would start to wonder about his safety at this point too----any evidence that he's "ok?"
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Hey di- I have no evidence he isn't ok. I believe he is fine. I think I would probably hear something if he doesn't show up for work tomorrow but I'm sure he will.
I am really starting to think that my H isn't contacting me to do what he thinks is the right thing by me. He knows he can't give me what I want so he is letting me go like I asked him to. Too bad he couldn't come back and work on our M like I asked him to instead.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I have so many people telling me to move on. I feel like an idiot because I don't. I am afraid that if I do, my H will realize what he has lost but it will be too late. Ugh!
I've found that people who have never been "here" are very quick to think the answer is to "move on..........." Maybe that is the answer, I don't know. It just still doesn't feel right for me.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Upside sorry things aren't transpiring the way that you wanted them to. I had a feeling it was going to go this way, but wanted it to happen for you. Sadly your h isn't ready to come home. What is it going to take? Who knows?
Maybe it's time for you to just focus on you. You will never know what the future might hold. We have been at this a very long time and I finally realized awhile back that my h was never returning. I simply got tired of trying to pull someone home that didn't want to come home. That was the awakening for me.
My h and I continue to be friends and business partners. It actually is a much better R, since now I have no expectations and we talk on a business level only.
I don't know what will work for you Upside, but maybe let the R go for now and pick it up later if you choose.
You can't make someone come home. That was my life learning experience here. No matter what you say, do, think, look it won't bring them home until they truly want to return.
Best of luck but don't wait forever life is too short and precious for that!
Cheers,
Glam
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
di-I'm not sure I am ready to move on but I think I am ready accept whatever life brings my way.
glam-I hope you and your kids are doing well. I kind of gave up trying to "pull" my H home a while ago. Things seemed like they were good between us as long as I accepted his terms. I knew that wasn't working for me so I gave him the deadline not knowing what he would do. He agreed to move back. I was happy that we were "moving forward" but aprehensive because I knew there was something missing. Now I know what that thing was, my H's committment...he lost that a long time ago and I guess he still hasn't found it. Anyway, I agree with you, life is too short and precious. I hope you are finding happiness in your life. You deserve it!
I know, 7 days is nothing for someone in MLC. I just can't help but feel he has choosen a life without me in it.