I can't hide jack - I am an open book and I wish I could be a little more reserved however it isn't normally in my nature... I am coming out of the shell I have been hiding in for years...
Trying to find my way back to the woman I used to be without hurting anyone in the process.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I am going to say that ever since that phone call with ladybug last week something has changed in me.
I cannot put my finger quite on it yet... But I have caught myself smiling. I have caught myself wistling. Some days I feel for 10 or 15 minutes that I have clarity. Once in awhile I feel like me and not like cutter. I have even heard the dreaded words. "Your in a good mood." And its for no reason. Like I am a normal human being.
Maybe I am becoming normal again. I still see life as before the bomb and after the bomb.
I think I even went one hour without thinking about it. Think...
Maybe I am starting to come out of my depression. Which I have been in for quite awhile... I do not know... Perhaps I am starting to wake up.
P.S. this is me journaling....
Tumbleweeds to our little section...
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Cutter, maybe just being near to some kind of closure is healing to you. Like P, I don't think of it as THE END just yet, but signing the papers is at least setting a boundary of sorts...
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
newmama. No matter what happens. I am so glad I met you. I think were going to work towards a life long friendship. But if we do not . Thank you very much for being a friend.
As for ladybug.
Thats OK
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Awww Cutter! Thank YOU! I would love to stay friends with you! You big Giver, you! Oh wait...was that a PUI? Not from me--sead dober here!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Better that way. No black eyes or broken bones