Got to tell you, doing the male fertility thing is a bit unnerving.
They hand you a cup and point you to a bathroom where you have to masterbate into the cup and then bring it out to them. It is really weird to have them look at you when you come out of the bathroom after you just "rubbed one out" for the test.
...to top it off, I was put into a supply closet that had a toilet and sink w/NO PORN or anything to help "stimulate my imagination." What made it worse was the last woman I saw was the 70-year-old w/a mole who handed me my jar before I went in.
Needless to say, I was able to "pull it off" but it did take a lot of work on my part.
Ha ha, funny thanks Rob! Well I asked him again and he said he would go for the test and looked very calm about it. I said REALLY? He said yes, sure, I'll do it! I think he wants to know he is ok and also, do what he can to help as he knows we lost 2 1/2 years, what with him leaving me and then 6 months renconciling until we were back to where we were spring 2007 when we were talking about having children.
We've only just started, but I am 39 in March, the age my Nan went through the menopause and not long before my Mum did at 42. I'm still not 100% ready for motherhood mentally, but there is no more time to get ready, its literally now or never! Lucky then that Jupiter (planet of expansion and creation) is going into my own sign of Pisces this week, and it couldnt be better timing.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
well you get 9 mths to get your head around it, but not sure anyone actually is aware of the life changing affects having a baby has on their life. Maybe this note of caution isn't nec. but sorry I have to say it. I don't want to put a damper on the proceedings or your excitement at trying, apologies in advance if you think my caution is negative-certainly not meant to be. Please please thought don't think having a baby will be a quick fix for your relationship or bf's depressive tendancies. You could end up being sole parent in many ways on many occassions. I know you are worried about the age thing but don't rush at it unless you are both 100% certain this is what you both want and for all the right reasons. That being said a baby brings so much joy along with sleepless nights,worry and a never ending drain on your resources, BUT I am sure none of us parents would be without them, and that says it all. Robs posts brought back many memories of my H's view of the test,also the timing of them,not always conducive to feeling "up" for it if you get my drift. Good luck anyway both of you, maybe b/f more than you at the mo.This will test his devotion to you that's for sure-lol. S
Ok Ali, I was catching up on Kalni's thread and re-read the years mentioned again. I couldn't for the life of me remember where I read those years. Anyway, the first year mentioned I was starting a relationship with one guy when I really wanted to be with someone else(current Flirt guy) and in 1998 I was pregnant. So I really don't want to be pregnant again, does this mean I might get my do over?
Sorry for the hijack, but for your situation. It is sometimes something you find yourself taking the plunge in. With my fertility issues, ML felt like work and I was heartbroken every time I wasn't pregnant. I know I was slightly depressed then and felt like I was broken. Before everyone hops on the you must have figured your problems out wagon, since I have 4 kids, I had to use fertility drugs with all of them but the last one. Numbers 2 and 3, I tried over 2 years for. I just got very lucky with s17. I looked for the signs and bam got pregnant. It is okay, everyone is a little scared.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks Naej.. you hit the nail on the head, but the other way round! Everything is so wonderful, I've never been happier and we have such a lovely close R.. I'm worried that having a baby would RUIN that, not fix it ! Plus, bf has always been broody, he wanted us to try when I was 35 and I said no, I wasnt ready... (sigh!) so he's really sure about wanting children. He's also doing MUCH better.. so I think these new AD's have worked! (they're called citalopram). I do want children, if its still possible!!
Kat, thanks for the encouragement! I quoted those years to Maria because she is also a Pisces and they were the years that Jupiter was in Pisces ('our' Jupiter year and Jupiter transits over our Sun during that year, very auspicious). It would depend where Jupiter falls in your chart, or where you have Pisces?
There is an eclipse conjunct Venus at the end of the week..the day I ovulate and also, my gf just told me she is taking her implant out and trying for children from Thursday! Funny how planetary movements reflect life events. Eclipses trigger big life events and shunt us onto different paths. The eclipse hits my Ascendant exactly. The last direct hit of an eclipse was an eclipse in Pisces, hit my Sun exact on the day bf moved out and left me, 11th Sept 2007. That changed our relationship forever onto a new footing (one that was more loving and appreciative, on both sides, than it ever was before). Our relationship had to be eclipsed in order to be reborn. And some people dont believe in astrology....!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I really dont know what to expect. The way things are at my end, arent so rosy like with you guys. Yes, I can say with certainty that he is more here than he has been the last 4 (!!!) years, but I miss so much the connection I want to scream!!!
Today he went ahead and told me he "is bringing some more things over" and I almost said "NO!!!, dont do that to me, is this how my life is gonna be from now on?" sigh... Keep trying, enjoy it and stop worrying. K
Everything is so wonderful, I've never been happier and we have such a lovely close R..
If that's true, why are you willing to devote such energy to posting here about how unwell your partner says he is and the limiting behaviours that go with that.
When we are happy it's not work. When we are happy we focus on the abundance that's available to us, rather than what is limited to us (in your musings sex, fun, playfulness, cash). When we are happy we are the calm sea who accepts the gifts the universe delivers without regard for what is still not "right" in our world.
Happy? You sure?
I wonder what it is within you that is prepared to accept that your happiness can be delivered in an environment and relationship that is signficantly less than ideal? Why are you delaying the good and abundant things that are available to you? Stubborness? Pride? Fear?
Why do you think you are unworthy of a relaitonship with a healthy partner who is wholly and fundamentally committed to being a full and equal partner in the emotional and psychological health of your relationship and your potential family?
Life, love, relationships ... the good ones, the ones that contribute to the accomplishment of our own self awareness and self esteem are not difficult. They do not involve making compromises, fixing others or doing more than our 50% of work in our relationships.
And one more thing ... what is it within you that means you deflect rather than reflect on almost anything Naej says to you that doesn't support the track you've convinced yourself is the right one? What do you think that defensive reaction is doing for you? Do you think it's a healthy reaction?
Just sayin' .....
Last edited by Walking; 01/13/1002:08 AM.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Virginia, OK, so Ali, is not really happy but she thinks she is? Hmm, havent been thru this before? And I think this time Ali actually agreed with naej about the baby meaning stress and difficulties. She said she is worried a baby would stress them and ruin their happiness instead of bring them closer...
Ali, a baby changes your life completely. Just like naej says. And just like she said, none of us parents would change the fact that our lives...changed. LOL!!! K
Hey Virginia. 1 in 4 of the population will suffer from depression at some point (I have).. are you suggesting that people prone to depression cannot make decent, loving partners?? Depression is an illness and yes its hard on me when he gets episodes, as it would be if he was suffering with cancer say, but that’s not a reason to leave and I'm not trying to fix him, his health and happiness is his responsibility.
I wouldn’t say he wasn’t a 'healthy partner', nor is doing less than 50%, in fact, he is loving, kind, funny, supportive partner who is 100% committed to me and in no way is our relationship "significantly less than ideal". He’s a lovely bf ! No, its not perfect, but I am happy and grateful every day for this life.
Depression is treatable.. in fact his new ADs have kicked in and he's a changed man. He's positive, smiles, he’s enjoying work again and his sex drive has returned (and we are enjoying frequent baby making!). He is cheerful again.. the black dog has receeded and the sun has come out. I’m so relieved, for him.
