LIMBO NO MO!

[dolphin_05]

Hey GIMA,

Just checking in to see how you're doing

Cas

[tryingtilDorR]

GIMA - I just caught up on what happened and I am very sorry. Take heart in the fact that you did all you can and didn't lift a finger to end your M - she did. You can go to your grave knowing that you did everything you can and can look your kids in the eyes and know that this is true as well. You did right by them.

The thing that makes me stop short of filing is that little voice inside of me that says 'what if you did a, b, or c, first to see if it made a difference', where one of the choices is wait just a few weeks longer (maybe a miracle will happen). I am afraid of having regrets.

If WAW files for D then we are 'off the hook' so to speak as far as possibly having regrets for not trying something else or waiting longer, even though we know waiting in the same state doesnt' solve anything.

You were headed here anyway except for the pause for the holidays, but at least you can take a little comfort in these points hopefully. If you were headed here anyway then this is probably the better way to go (her driving, not you) since you never wanted a D (it is our last choice as DB'ers).

[givingitmyall]

Guys,

Thank you all for the well wishes. I have been busy today. I am homw now. I'm still sifting through all the emotions I have.

My step father called me tonight - understandably, he's worried about me. He is my shining example of honor in the face of D. He M'd my mother (2nd M for them both). My mother has some severe mental issues (mostly bi-polar and massive anxiety disorder), and she really put him through the ringer during the M and D. To this day, he has never utterred any negative comment about my mother.

And tonight, I got to tell him how much I admired him and how he set an example I hope I can follow - that's my plan. It really meant a lot to me to be able to tell him. There are so many things I would have like to have told my biological father but never did before he passed away. Despite where I am right now, I will not forget tonight.

I am handling it. That's not to say I don't cycle from pain to anger to resentment to resolve. I have faith that with time this will get easier. And I know it will. I just need to speed up time. Anyone got a tip for that?!

You guys are great and have really helped me. I monitored my thread all day, and everyone's well wishes lifted my spirits. Thanks guys.

[SoldierDad]

GIMA,

I want you to know from my perspective, that you are a wonderful role model. You have helped so many, including myself.

You carried yourself with grace and dignity throughout, and that to me, is admirable under the circumstances.

One Day at a Time GIMA.

[givingitmyall]

GIMA,

I want you to know from my perspective, that you are a wonderful role model. You have helped so many, including myself.

You carried yourself with grace and dignity throughout, and that to me, is admirable under the circumstances.

One Day at a Time GIMA.

Thanks buddy. Sorry I haven't posted much today. I'm getting my legs back under me, then I'll be back. I hope you are hanging in there.

[v1olin]

My wife filed on me way back in April and yes, it does get easier. I am almost looking forward to it being final at this point. Know this, everyone on this board is here because they cared enough, their spouses do not. We are exceptional people! You are a good man GIMA!

[Serenity13]

We are exceptional people!

Oh yes we sure are!

(((GIMA)))

You have been in my thoughts all day and will be in my prayers tonight.

[givingitmyall]

We are exceptional people!

Oh yes we sure are!

(((GIMA)))

You have been in my thoughts all day and will be in my prayers tonight.

Thanks viol1n and serenity. It really helps. Helps with the feeling I'm alone (which comes and goes).

Keep praying serentiy (I know you will). I will do the same for you and everyone else going through this awful experience.

[Gardener]

Gima,
I just caught up. I'm sorry. Sorry that it happened the way it did and the place it did. I'm even sorry that you didn't get the satisfaction of serving her first.

I look forward to watching you handle this with the strength, honor, compassion and manliness that you have handled everything these many months and all the while posting and chiming and helping more people on this board than most of us put together.

I am honored to have come to know a man like you and I look forward to meeting you some day (something I am - and have been - determined to do. And will)

Sincerely,

[v1olin]

Gardener makes a good point about not being able to file first. From now on you have to be the first one to act GIMA. The first to split the family photos, the first to split your property, the first to cancel credit cards, put the utility bills in your name, etc. etc. I learned a few months ago that if I did this I felt alot better. It hurts soo much more if the WAW does all of those things FIRST.