Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Tonight's update...
I planned a rather complicated but authentic Mexican recipe for dinner. It took a looong time to make!

WH arrived and I made a big deal about "Daddy's here!" with S. I filled him in on S's day and got to work in the kitchen. Now, I didn't get a chance to freshen up before he arrived, but I had the same make up and hair from the morning that I had done and was wearing my contacts which has become a usual thing. I think it's okay to not look FABULOUS every time because it is more realistic. Come on, I was not going anywhere special! I can look good to show off my assets, but if I dress to the 9's every day it will not make that big of an impact after awhile IMO. I can at least look cute which I think I did. Quepiche?

He fed S and I didn't say much to him at all other than to ask his advice about some spices. He hung out with S and gave him a bath. About 90 minutes from the start of my cooking (no joke) dinner was ready. We ate while S was in his swing. WH said it was really yummy! I made some small talk about baby stuff but avoided anything that interesting or meaningful.

After dinner I cleaned up while he gave S a bottle and rocked him to sleep. WHen I arrived in the living room, I hopped on the laptop and surfed the internet a bit. WH fell asleep!! He woke up around 8:15 and he usually is gone by 8:00! So I didn't dare wake him (hee hee!) and he put S to bed. He ended up leaving about 8:30. I also didn't work out but am not that concerned because I will totally do it tomorrow.

Before he left, he said he would be checking in on S tomorrow and would see us after work (DUH to both!) and to have a good night. I wished HIM a good night too. (meaning I never wish him and OW a good night--I just think that I want to make sure he drives there okay and nothing happens to him over the night!)

Nothing that interesting happened but I managed to keep my goal of being distant and interacting maybe 30 minutes max!

[chatterbug]

Newmama. I am a guy. If your in a barrow or a sack. Us men are going to find you sexy. Remember you have wired his brain to think your sexy. No matter what is going on. It stays there. Forever. You did the work when we wanted to date you. And you said. YES.

Trust me on this one.

P.S. Post the dinner... I want to make it as well.

I think that you should think about cutting out a night a week.

And track it. See what happens.

Is baby long enough to start those todder swimming lessons.

[newmama]

The baby can start swim lessons whenever! Why do you ask?

And I can cut out dinner on Thursdays...So I am down to 2 nights per week. I just want to keep it up to show him that this is a permanent change, not a phase. All of my improvements are permanent! And they really are. I like being tidy and cooking is fun! I enjoy looking my best even if it takes longer each day. And the exercise has been a part of my life for the last 4 years or so so that is sticking around!

[Day by Day]

How long have you been with these 180s? I think you are proving that these changes are permanent! So proud of you newmama! You are doing such a great job!

[newmama]

well I started somewhere in the beg-mid of October. So not quite 3 months yet. The change in appearance has been in place for about a month. I know it seems like an eternity on here, but 3 months is not that long IMO to prove permanent changes. Probably 6 months minimum.??? thank you for the encouragement. It is such a weird position to be in, but it is my choice and I accept full responsibility!

[P17]

Are you not still worried about the cake eating?

From what I can see he is noticing things but nothing is actually changing at all. I agree that three months isn't long but I'm impatient

I know you gave a deadline before for NC, is this still your plan?

[chatterbug]

The baby can start swim lessons whenever! Why do you ask?

New newmama. GAL with her child. Swimming lessons in the pool. Life moment that H is missing out on. Is not apart of. Had no decision in making. He sees another lost act of service, quality time.

You decided this. You are going out with your child and getting some exerice. Starting a new hobby. And at the same time meeting new people, new mothers and fathers. A new circle of friends.

Now this one you are going to talk about around H. But wait until you have started. Then its Baby and I , Baby and I.

Well my suggestion.

Plus I think you will have fun. And you also get to shop for a new bathing suit. One that looks real nice on newmama.

Life is full of pleasaures. And I think that this could be one of them.

[Day by Day]

I agree with cutter. Excellent suggestion!!

[newmama]

Cutter, I am one step ahead! I have been taking S to classes since September. We are taking a music class and baby sign class this month. Next month will be music and gym. In April, we start swim classes! (April b/c he will be 9 months plus I will have lost 20+more pounds!

We currently are in a mommy-baby group too. So I have been meeting new moms since September and it's great! We visit with family 1 day per week as well.

And so believe me, WH hears "baby and I" all the time! But it pleases me to learn I'm already doing something you recommend!


P, yes I thought at one time I would go NC this month. But I don't feel like letting OW see S 6 days per week!!! I am so sorry to go back and forth b/c at one point I said I wasn't bothered anymore by OW seeing S when he takes him, but I was wrong.

As for cake eating, yep, and I will be holding out for awhile.WITH heavy emphasis on being distant and mysterious.I have done well for 2 days so far...it's a start and as long as I am consistent, it is successful for me and I can monitor results.

I know it seems like not much has changed, but I have changed! And DB coach said changes in WH would be slow but he will notice. And he has noticed a couple of my changes so far plus he has not filed for D. It has been 2 months since I told him I didn't want one; almost 3 since he brought it up!

[newmama]

I am cutting one night of dinner out though and not telling WH about my plans so I do follow y'all's advice! Keep suggesting! I appreciate and care for you all so much!!!