LIMBO NO MO!

[DDogs]

GIMA,

I feel unfortunate to be part of your club. Right now, I can see myself where you are in the spring. Our W's doesn't realize how good they have it now. I suppose I need to totally detach if this tough love thing is going to work. I hope you can shake up things and your W sees the light soon. I'm here to support ya no matter what happens. Hang in there.

TRIDOC:

my 2 cents,,

Don't just suppose... Detaching was/is one of the hardest things I have done/doing. Follow it up with a tough love approach and it is exceptionally hard... I have found that for me, GALing is by far the most effective way to approach those two concepts.. it won't happen overnight, and when it did begin to kick in, it seemed to build upon itself...

[Dia]

They make these little devices that can measure your % of body fat. That way you'll know for sure.

Good to see you again Dia!

<twitching again>

<trying to resist calipers vs. electrical impedance vs. water displacement debate>

<sweat breaks out on brow>

<calls her sponsor>

[DDogs]

my 2 cents..

http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/library/blbodyfatcharts.htm

this chart is pretty close to ok...body fat charts can be notoriously confusing... I think the best way I can tell about me is the way my clothes fit...

Calipers are probably the most accurate way to go but it is subjective and you probably should have the same person perform the test each time to eliminate the technique differences...

there are some charts that measure more than the standard "three site pinch" test...

[Dia]

BTW, GIMA,

It may be cold comfort, but I think you are doing the right thing, and you are doing it with strength and honor. Your W needs to be married or not married. She doesn't get to be married-but-with-no-obligations-to-actually-ACT-married-or-be-in-an-active-and-loving-realtionship-with-my-spouse. That's called cake-eating.

You've given her ever reason and opportunity to choose 'married'. By default, she is choosing 'not married'.

You deserve more.

While I still hope it works out for the two of you, I htink you are on the right course.

Oh, and..

"It'll ride up with wear."

[Gardener]

Dia,

<twitching again>

<trying to resist calipers vs. electrical impedance vs. water displacement debate>

<sweat breaks out on brow>

<calls her sponsor>

You are just so very Funny! Another reason I miss you so much around here (not that I've forgiven you for that raucous party you had at my place while I was gone a few months back, young lady!).

[givingitmyall]

"It'll ride up with wear."

"And I am unanimous in that."

Good to hear from you Dia.

[givingitmyall]

Tonight, W got an email from the mother of a little girl D6 was supposed to play with tomorrow. The little girl has a fever, so tomorrow isn't happening.

My D was inconsolable. Cried nearly uncontrollably.

And in the middle of this, I am fighting back the lump in my throat b/c I realize this is what it's going to be like when SHE tells the kids we are getting D'd. And I can't protect them from this. And then, I'm angry b/c, dammit, it doesn't have to be this way. But, I can't decide that anymore than I can protect the kids for what's coming.

Damn.

I'm not sad for myself any more. I'm just angry she will do this to the kids without so much as lifting a finger to work on the M.

I came back to my room and went through in my mind some of the things she has compared me to and said about me to her friends and me. And, I stopped in mid thought and asked myself, why do I want to be with her? Other than keeping our family intact, I have no answer.

[Thinker]

...Other than keeping our family intact, I have no answer.

...and this is, in itself, a tough one.

[givingitmyall]

...Other than keeping our family intact, I have no answer.

...and this is, in itself, a tough one.

Yeah. I know. And realize you probably do too.

Hope your trip with the boys was fun.

[Sleepy]

y room and went through in my mind some of the things she has compared me to and said about me to her friends and me. And, I stopped in mid thought and asked myself, why do I want to be with her? Other than keeping our family intact, I have no answer.

I'm thinking the same thing right now. I don't want the kids to suffer. I think they need a full time Mom and Dad. If that is how she is going to be then we have to have the serenity to accept things that we cannot change. I'm sure there are other women who are lonely out there now willing to step in and accept us for the men we are. Her loss.

I always hear that in 2 to 5 years the WAS regrets their actions.