K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[Steve McQueen]

ok Kevin, you busted her, called her on it, and ruined her new years. I'd like to call this step one, but you have taking so many steps backwards and very few steps forward, its a hard call, it maybe step one it maybe not.

Now this is Divorce Busting. And he is just a friend. They are all friends. and New Years Kisses and handjobs are OK among friends.

Crap they talk non-stop Kevin. them the best friends. So you can say and do anything and stand up for yourself once and for all, but it honestly wont mean $hit to her and wont phase her in the least untill she knows exactly how you felt the other night. Do you understand?

Do you understand?

Do not let next week go back to normal, quoting the bible and telling us how you are standing for your marriage while your wife is lying on her back for it. Show us what you have learnt about divorce busting.

[Startingover2]

Now this is Divorce Busting. And he is just a friend. They are all friends. and New Years Kisses and handjobs are OK among friends.

I had to laugh at this friendship thing. I saw emails between exh and another woman that is only interested in a physical relationship with exh...she is living with another man. She wrote him the nastiest emails detailing exactly what she would be doing to him and with him..I mean every single detail! Now he has no idea I could see his emails. When I asked her about this woman he said she is just a 'good friend'. OW in my situation was also a 'good friend' when she was having sex with him when I was pregnant!

Good friends!! Wow!

[K4D]

As I am sitting here watch the Dallas Cowboys play, I thought I would go ahead and post my goals.

Save enough money to buy a house.
Book a flight to Jacksonville Florida for a few days to see some friends.
Study and hunt for a new better job in which I will not be paying anyone fees.
Continue to update my wardrobe.
Continue to make myself stronger.
Improve my prayer life with myself and my kids. I have started teaching them the rosary.
Become stronger as an individual.
Come up with a formal schedule and plan to meet with my friends on our business idea.
To get back to dancing lessons and improving to a next level.
To find enjoyment in myself, my kids, and God's will for my life.

I did talk to the L. I won't be able to afford a custody fight and things could swing against me if I take it on.

I don't think God is leading me to do that either as He seems to be closing the door off to that one. I did a lot of praying about it and basically asked God to stop me if it is not what he is wanting me to do because I was at my wits end with this. He is managing to stop me.

P.S. I have read everyone's posts. I have done a lot of thinking this weekend. My anger has subsided. I will not show any kind of approval for W's continued actions. I have not rehashed the subject with her and I won't.

Last night I discovered I accidently used the bank card to her account. I pulled out the money to replace it from my account as well as some extra money I owed her for D7's Christmas present and I left it on her table at the house as me and the girls had to run by there while she was not there to get a few things for the girls. I sent her a text explaining where the money was and why it was there. I didn't hear back from her. I hadn't heard from her since the conversation on Friday.

Today she called while I was in mass. I called her back after wondering why she would need to call since I have the girls with me unless she was just wanting to talk to them. She told me she wanted to let me know there is a circus in town tonight and we can get free tickets to it. She thought the girls would enjoy it. Then she said she would go, but she will be working tonight. I said thanks and we have a lot to do to get ready for the school week again and we probably won't make it. She said ok. Then she reminded me that D12 has choir starting back up again downtown tomorrow. I said we will see if we make it as my bosses are in town this week and expecting us to stay late. She said yes that I had warned her of that and to let her know by 5 if I can't so she can take her. I said fine. I still do not have anyone that can fill in for me when I have to stay late as far as picking up my girls and bringing them home. I am really stuck on that one.

This is going to be an extremely busy week for me and I am not looking forward to it. It always seems like my bosses show up and want us to work late when I have my girls.

Kevin

[K4D]

Crap they talk non-stop Kevin. them the best friends. So you can say and do anything and stand up for yourself once and for all, but it honestly wont mean $hit to her and wont phase her in the least untill she knows exactly how you felt the other night. Do you understand?

Do you understand?

I think she knows exactly how I feel about it Steve. I couldn't have been more obvious about my feelings on that when it came to involving the kids. And she knows how I feel about her being with OM which is why she is trying to pull it off as a friend. Either way, she would have to be an idiot to think she is fooling me on any of this.

I think I got my point across when I didn't bother answering her phone calls after she announced it and then we had the conversation after.

Kevin

[K4D]

Do not let next week go back to normal, quoting the bible and telling us how you are standing for your marriage while your wife is lying on her back for it. Show us what you have learnt about divorce busting.

You have a way with words Steve. I will do my best to properly DB.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

You get the Cowboys game?! We don't get it today....we got the Chargers instead

Both of us have hopefully turned a corner. I have been turning the same corner for a few years. Lets hope you only turn in once!

[K4D]

ok Kevin, you busted her, called her on it, and ruined her new years. I'd like to call this step one, but you have taking so many steps backwards and very few steps forward, its a hard call, it maybe step one it maybe not.

It was step one to properly DBing.

SO2, I am hoping this is finally DBing the right way going forward as well.

Kevin

[MrBond]

It was great how you finally stood up for yourself, however because it was a result of your anger and frustration, you still haven't understood what proper DBing is.

It is doing things on YOUR terms. Not just reacting to what she does. You've gone through this before and I hope you do change.

One question though...are you still DBing or are you looking to D?

[K4D]

Stuck,

I never wanted a D. I don't want a D. I just began to think I had no other choice once she started introducing my kids to her "friend".

I would prefer to efficiently DB. That is my goal. I don't have the money to go after a custody fight and there is no guarantee I would win. Infact, it could swing the other way. I stand to lose big time even if I could come up with the money. I think that is pretty much God closing the door on that one.

Ultimately, I just want to DB the heck out of this and eventually win my W back and my family back. That is what would be best for all of us in the end.

I did hit great frusturation last week. There is no question about that. And it did finally push me to stand up to W. I will continue to try and find a balance of standing up to her when necessary and trying to DB to the best of my abilities.

With God's help and good advice and obtaining goals one step at a time, I can do this. There can't be anymore laying down for just anything for W anymore. She did hit a ground that I will not lay down for anymore.

She kept stepping over every single line because I was allowing her to. This one I finally stood my ground. But I was not rude to her or anything like that. I was firm but nice. She got the message.

Kevin

[K4D]

Apparently W is taking my girls to their C session tomorrow after work since she will have them tomorrow night. Should I let the C know ahead of time that W has chosen to introduce the girls to her male "friend" 2 days in a row so she can decide whether or not to adress it with the girls or W?

Kevin