Your ex chased me down to find out about you. I hold her I hadn't heard from you in 3 weeks. Then she told you were ok as you spent time with your niece and nephew.
She is a messed up camper.
Wonder why ladybug appeared to be such a wreck to your IM!?!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Wish I could read minds. Then again... maybe that would not be such a good thing.
Perhaps she needs to wrap things up , or rock the boat, or see if i am around still , or she needs to regain control ,or she needs the money tied up in our house for her new life, or she is becoming undone , or she just wants everything with us to end.
Who knows?
IM has not talked to her since the summer when all this went down. A few emails to him and thats that.
His reply to me on what she wanted was as follows
She wanted to know of I has heard from you as she couldn't reach you.
Nothing else.
So 30% of the lesson on contacting IM has been met. Next she needs to relay some thoughts to him on what she wants.
Looking forward to seeing her next move on the board game.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
So 30% of the lesson on contacting IM has been met. Next she needs to relay some thoughts to him on what she wants.
Hey, contacting IM is a start! Didn't mean to suggest you do mindreading, I guess when someone is a wreck, it indicates stress in their life from some source!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Today Newmama I think I really felt like I completely dropped the rope. I took SIL to the hospital. Nephew was with me. And him and I talked about ladybug and her life. And I just thought. I am completely done. This woman does not even deserve the chance to even talk to me ever again. All I could think during the conversation was. Why would I ever want to get back with this person. Sure we have history. But seriously why? I see no benifit at all. Then on the ride home. SIL was telling me that ladybug cannot contact me and was wondering if I was going to talk to her about tieing up lose ends. And that she blew up about me not giving her a dvd or something like that. I replied. The day she commited adultery was the day I stopped doing what she asked or demanded. I am not at her beck and call. I am not her parent. Thats what doucebag is for. If she really wanted this dvd or what ever next it after that she can go spend the 10 dollars and buy a new copy. Or she could have moved all her crap out back in Sept. Oct. Or she can have her dad come over and pick all the crap up. As to the rest. She can send me or IM the piece of paper to transfer the 401k stuff and the house goes for sale April 1st. We talked about all this back in August and Sept.
Then I said. You know what. She didn't keep to any of the other promises or papers we signed. But she will keep to those conversations. And if she does not like it she can do the effort to sell the house. This is on my terms now. And I do not waste my breathe on anyone who does not respect me as a human being. She treats me worse than a dog. I am completely done with her and her BS. Maybe she should figure out why she needs to contact me every two weeks about some BS item.
I said this fully knowing it would be said verbatim back to her.
I really am starting to feel that this is truely not worth the effort.
I am patient. But the love... I did not feel it at all today. Not one bit. Normally when I speak of her. I feel something. Today it was just F-it. I do not want to ever have her as friend. I truly do not believe we could ever be lovers again. So where does this leave me?
I know I have always said April was the time line to keep the door ajar. But I am struggling to keep to this time line. Everyday more and more of me just wants to close it completely.
I am sick and tired of thinking about it all the time. 7 months of thinking about this all the time.
I know I say parallel paths. And I have followed it. But, today I just got so frustrated. If we did not have this wedding coming up. I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing her again. Its not hate. Its indifference. And this is the first time I have felt this complete indifference.
Sorry about the rant. I am just processing all this. And I will see how my thoughts are in a week. But its the start of a different feeling. Just not sure exactly what it is.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Sorry about the rant. I am just processing all this. And I will see how my thoughts are in a week. But its the start of a different feeling. Just not sure exactly what it is.
Cutter,
You and I have had very similar days today my friend.
Indifference.
Complete indifference.
We put ourselves through this mess because we love them. But there are limits and there are only so many times you can be kicked in the teeth until you say no more. No more hurt. No more pain. No more WAS. I am done. I am finished. Stop the train, I'm getting off here.
For me I am actually a bit worried about how similar our paths are.
IMO Ladybug is losing control over her life now, or maybe she is now realising how little control she has. She's lashing out at you while at the same time trying to gain contact. You know this. She isn't going to be nice to you - you know that too.
I'm drained today. Completely drained. Whether it's lack of sleep or emotionally distraught I don't know. However I don't want to comment any further until I know I can do it justice.
Take care cutter. We will need to sort out a time to speak soon. Thinking of you!
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
Hey, contacting IM is a start! Didn't mean to suggest you do mindreading, I guess when someone is a wreck, it indicates stress in their life from some source!