I am thinking about sending a text to W saying I don't think it is in the kids best interest for you to be introducing them to OM tomorrow.
After all, regardless of how she views the situation, her kids are seeing their married mom with another guy and she is now involving our kids in her affairs which the whole thing is highly inapropriate and a terrible example to be setting for the kids to see.
She doesn't even have the decency to wait until she is at least divorced for the kids sake? Why should they have to witness and be a part of this continued demolishing of their family and have it thrown right in their faces when the D hasn't even been filed for?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
She doesn't even have the decency to wait until she is at least divorced for the kids sake? Why should they have to witness and be a part of this continued demolishing of their family and have it thrown right in their faces when the D hasn't even been filed for?
Kevin
Because she has been allowed to have multiple affairs up to this point with no consequences really. She knows you will probably be mad, but will get over it and be back to trying to win her over. Take the weekend to get your ducks in a row and figure out what YOU want to do now.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I made the call. I told W calmly that I don't think it is in the best interest of the kids to be getting introduced to OM tomorrow. W said he is just a friend and nothing more. I said ok. I said the kids had mentioned that he was going to be there. She said she told me that a week ago. I said no, you told me that he was coming into town and that you are your lady friends were going to be having dinner with him. You didn't say anything about OM joining you and the kids for bowling. She said yes she did.
The bottom line is she didn't. I would have had a problem with that right off the bat. I found out from my kids that he was going to be there. Neither time when it came up with her did she once say he was going bowling with her and the kids.
That being said, again she claims strictly friendship. This is where the believe nothing you hear and only 50% of what you see applies. If he is just a friend, why was her house done up spotless today with maids and all. Why was she dressed up so nice? And if he is just a friend, why do the phone records for months now show the 2 talking every day, first thing in the morning before work, through out the day and late at night? This is more than a friend. Why did she make the effort to make him a home made blanket? But she can deny it all she wants. And there is nothing I can do about it. But I spoke my peace.
If he really is truly only a friend, then I may have botched up any progress that was being made. But I don't for a second think he is just a friend. I have fallen for that one before. You don't talk to a friend of the opposite sex day in and day out morning, afternoon and evening on the phone if it is just a friend. And why is a male "friend" staying with her?
I still don't really agree with it. But whatever. I was calm on the phone and it was a short phone call.
If he was only a friend, I am sure it will come back to haunt me. If he wasn't a friend, it won't have mattered.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Ok Kev, you made the call, and sounds like you did OK.
You spoke about how you feel civilly, and then ended it. This is ok.
Quote:
If he really is truly only a friend, then I may have botched up any progress that was being made
This doesn't matter. You need to stop acting from a place where your actions are based on what you think your W thinks or will do, which you actually did by calling and expressing how you felt.
Now. Put the 48 hour rule back on. Don't harp on this, and that is not the going to be the hard part.
The hard part for you is going to be to stop the story telling in your own mind. You are already doing it in the rest of your post. That will drive you to make bad decisions going forward.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Originally Posted By: Originally Posted By: kevin4dallas
I'm thinking what a great evening it was. And it really was. Well, of course, W tells me she has a "friend" coming back from Santa Fe that is taking her out for her birthday dinner and she is booked all week. Right away I know who this friend is. Its original OM. She slept with him for his birthday and I'm pretty sure he is returning the favor.
She told you she was going to get laid on her birthday, and you are still talking about her. GET SOME SELF RESPECT.
I hate to say it but if I were in your shoes I would file for divorce. You can atleast talk to a lawyer and get some kind of restraining order keeping other men from coming into contact with YOUR kids.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
