Dusk at Dawn.

[chatterbug]

i call her ladybug because I am cutterbug. I decided I needed to reclaim the word was. As everytime I see it in the real world. I read walk away spouce... Which then ticked me off.

What am I going to do about it. Nothing. I do not see any reason to meet with her to discuss several loose ends. Do you?

I think I will contact IM and meet up with him to verify that the seperation papers are still the latest one. Verify that I have signed them.

As always. I am open to suggestions or paths that I have not noticed.

[chatterbug]

I have decided to follow the daily horrorscope.

ladybugs

The time has come to clear the air with a partner. You might have some trepidation, but you know that it is necessary. Your words fall on another's ears perhaps differently from how you intended them. Be ready to revamp your communication. Tonight: Find a friend to hang out with.

Mine

Know when to keep your own counsel. You could be out of sorts. Stay mum , knowing that there are other solutions. Don't show your hand or say something you could regret later. Tonight: Squeeze in as much R 'n' R as possible.

[P17]

What am I going to do about it. Nothing. I do not see any reason to meet with her to discuss several loose ends. Do you?

What are the loose ends? Why do YOU think you don't need to meet with her? Are you not cutting your nose off to spite your face? Do you see this as a test?

I think I will contact IM and meet up with him to verify that the seperation papers are still the latest one. Verify that I have signed them.

I'm not sure I understand. If you have already signed separation papers then what is there to discuss about them?

As always. I am open to suggestions or paths that I have not noticed.

Did you make it clear to Ladybug at the beginning that you would have no contact with her while the A was going on?

[newmama]

Cutter, did you make those horoscopes up? Amazing if you did not! They rarely line up with actual events!

You are very strong to continue on your NC. I do have a q though.. aren't the conditions for contact from the WAS are to discuss either ending the R or reconciling? Just clarifying here, but how will you know if she wants to do either of those? I mean does the IM check with her?

BTW I don't know the rules for your area but if the separation agreement has been signed, then is there anything else to do--is there a designated length of time that the SA is good for?
Do you have to be separated a certain length of time before divorce?

If she is in the A, her thinking is cloudy and as you know, it is worthless to talk to her! she no sense makes!

[Wholeagain]

Stay strong. I admire your ability to define goals and stick with your plan.

Sounds like you dropped the rope and now she's wondering where you are. Possibly she wants to make sure you are available on her first call.

Is IM some kind of lawyer?

[Wholeagain]

Where did you get those horoscopes? I'd like to get mine too.

[chatterbug]

got lots of questions to answer will do tomorrow... Thanks guys and gals.

Its a hard path we walk in darkness.

But I am prepairing for what she has coming at me next.
Spite. Attempt to regain control.
I see this game forming right now.
Going at her family to stop talking to me.
Trying to turn friends against me.
Going to try to push me out of my Saturday night hang out.
Emails and phone calls will start up again on selling house and "loose ends"
Pushing my buttons to see if I care.
Its all so childish. And its easy to see right thru it.

How to combat it?
Spite you combat with silence and lovingly detatch.
Control. Well only I am incontrol of my life.
Family : Keep in touch , be the loving son-inlaw, brother-inlaw, uncle that I am. ( Did that today with MIL and FIL... They had me over for dinner ...and this weekend BIL and SIL are taking me out for dinner )
Friends : Informed them that spite is coming. And that I do not wish to hear about it. Also mentioned that she is around again because OM has kids that night so she is looking to kill time with people that I hang out with. A Push. And that if they are going out with her that night to just give me a heads up. That way in can make other plans because I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable or place them in the middle. Support the person not the adultery speach...
Emails and phone calls... silence
Button pushing. Well thats why you double or triple thread them. I am no longer the pushover that I became as our marriage went on. Perhaps she will releaze this one day. Perhaps not.

Ahh the game. One you can control or one you react in. I have decided that I am in control. I decided this on Sept. 17th 2009
One plans for reactions. So I am prepaired.

[mindfull]

I think you are doing a fab job being you Cutter!

[P17]

Ahh the game. One you can control or one you react in. I have decided that I am in control. I decided this on Sept. 17th 2009
One plans for reactions. So I am prepaired.

The battle starts. Good luck. I know either way you will be okay.

My worry is the first test. That is the most important one and the one that will decide the tone for the rest of the battle. If you show any weakpoints she will exploit them (human nature) if you don't show any she will continue to probe your defences until she decides you have none and then either give up or launch an all out attack.

I think you have her beat before she starts, especially with her family on-side.

[newmama]

Cutter I am waiting for you to answer our qs!
One thing I do know...ladybug is just pulling out all the stops to get your attention. But her family has YOUR back, you informed your friends, so this is all going to go your way!
She will get mad and erupt in some form, but she will be missing you even more because you are not communicating with her! She is in the chasing mode, even if she is not chasing for reconciliation purposes (YET). Just chasing.