K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

Oh CG,

To answer your question about my career path, no, it has nothing to do with impressing W. If she never comes back, I need a better future than the current track I am on. I don't want to be living in an apartment or townhome the rest of my life. I at least need to attempt to build a nicer life for myself and my girls to enjoy.

Kevin

[iwantittowork]

Kev,

I know everyone goes round and round with you on what works and what doesn't, but you won't take the advice on what actually works, and live it. Read up on people that have made it back, and why and how, then live it for yourself, not for your W.

When I said I wanted to see you succeed, that is exactly what I meant. I did not say I want to see you succeed with your W.

However, you say your W is currently all about the money, so what is going to make her more interested in you, if that is what you want, and she truly is into only the money.

Current Kev Version: No job, can't let go, can't stop contacting me for mundane stuff, can't keep track of car insurance, or what the kids are doing in school, constantly temperature checking to see if I am interested at all.

New Improved Kev version: Hmm, I wonder why Kev has not contacted me in a few months? Kev stopped by to pick up the kids in a new car the other day, and was laughing with them on the way back to the car, looks fit, and is that a new hairstyle and outfit? Hey, I heard from someone that Kev is working in his own business now? Who's that hot blond receptionist that is hanging out with Kev now in the new car that someone keeps mentioning to me?

I am no female, but I am going to guess she would go for Kev Version 2.0 over V1.0, if at all, and at least be wondering what she is missing after.

[K4D]

I am no female, but I am going to guess she would go for Kev Version 2.0 over V1.0, if at all, and at least be wondering what she is missing after.

Either way, a better future starts with a better career path.

Kevin

[K4D]

I am half tempted to send Robx's response. lol.

Kevin

[CityGirl]

Do not even tell me you are STILL pondering the text!

While you are getting a better career what else are you doing for you?

You want to know why SM responses work? Because they are so outrageous you can't help but laugh. When people are laughing they are not thinking of problems or any other BS, they are just laughing. Happy. Relaxed.

SM can pull it off because he does not give a rats ass what anybody thinks. Stop analyzing every little thing to death.

Find your inner freak and let that flag fly! It works... ask the hot Australian dude I met the other night

[K4D]

SM can pull it off because he does not give a rats ass what anybody thinks.

I would like to read up on SM's story and see where he was and where he is now.

Kevin

[Drew]

Don't worry about SM. Worry about Kevin. Reading up on other people's thread is just a way to you to avoid moving forward.

[jon2911]

I wish I could press a button and help you get to the point where you just don't care.

Love it! CG, I may not agree with you all the time, but your advice is so good.

For me, this moment was when my W came to tell me she was filing again. She let it expire the first time, and like Kevin I was holding onto threads of hope. Fear and pain are so paralyzing in our sitches. I've gone into "what the hell" mode and it's shaken things up a bit. I need to keep it up.

What would it take for you Kevin, and how would you act? I know your personal beliefs keep you from filing or dating, you're standing and I'm there with you and admire that. But that doesn't mean you can't adopt a more badass attitude, which is what everyone is trying to get at.

[Super Girl]

But that doesn't mean you can't adopt a more badass attitude, which is what everyone is trying to get at.

Exactly!

[K4D]

Well Jon,

I am going to get hammered for this. But I am not sure. I do love her still even after all of this that has happened. Part of me not filing is because I am trying to be obediant to the church and the other part is I really don't want to move forward in my life without her. I can't seem to let go of the feelings I have for her no matter how real the situation is that I am looking at. And believe me, I know how real it is as it really hit me the other night. But I just can't seem to get myself to release my feelings for her and no longer care. I go through periods when I am fed up with it, but then my feelings come back to me and I just want to reconcile the M and my family. I think about my kids and how much they want us together. I think about her and me and how much I miss her. I even find myself wishing she would even just take another look at me and realize that I know I made a ton of mistakes and that I am sorry for them and will not make them again in the future. But as far as I can tell, she isn't looking back. So while I struggle with my feelings still after 15 months, I also understand the realization of the situation.

For me to not care any longer would mean for me to also not care about what my kids want, need and is best for them which is an intact family that is healed and fixed. But morally I also struggle with looking at someone else down the road that I didn't marry for life to. So if I put that out of my mind, it leaves me basically alone from here on out which is a pretty misreable future unless W at some point some day takes another look at me and what we can have with ourselves and our kids.

So to answer your question about what would it take for me to no longer care. I don't know. If I can still care after all of this, I am not sure.

But I am trucking along trying to change my future regardless of what she decides.

Kevin