LIMBO NO MO!

[givingitmyall]

S and I had a great time at the football game today - went with some friends. And we won.

Got home, and I'm gonna cook some ribs on the grill.

Since home, W has been chatty with me in a happy, interested way. Been down this road before. But, it is different from the past few weeks.

[Looking_For_Help]

Hey GIMA,

It appears that you need to move forward with your life. You are correct...there really is nothing left you can do to get your W out of her funk. God knows I've tried with mine. We share the same situation. This is their problem now...time for us to move on buddy. Maybe filing for divorce will snap your wife out of it. Maybe not. If filing doesn't wake them up, I can't think of anything else that will. It is what it is my friend.

-LFH

[givingitmyall]

LFH,

Unfortunately, I think you are correct. I don't think she has any idea how hard this going to be on us financially. But, as Coach has told me, I can't apply logic to an emotional decision.

[Gardener]

Gima, Sorry about the accident. Glad no one was hurt too badly. How's your neck?

Good morning folks...
I noticed from my in-laws being here for Christmas how enamored they are with money and the price of things. How much this car or that car costs. How cheap they bought a bag of chips. Man, let it go. Do you really know what is important? Really?

So, not surprisingly, that's where W got her preoccupation with appearances.

And I don't understand why money for her seems to be THE most important issue. Right now, maybe it's all she has left since she has given up on our M.

Appearances, appearances.

As concerned as my W is about money, she does not appear to be looking for A job. Instead, she's looking for THE job.

Life, as the more realistic among us realize, does not afford such luxury. Maybe you should cut her off from all but house and kid money.

P.S.: After writing this post, the thought came to me that if this is what my W values most in life, why would I want to spend the rest of my life with her? And, I don't have an answer other than I wouldn't.

Tough, but perhaps ultimately inevitable conclusion.

You are in my prayers and have my sign of peace, friend.

[SpyBunny]

How are you feeling today GIMA? No lingering effects from the accident?

[givingitmyall]

Gardener, thanks. I am sifting through some conflicting emotions today. Probably triggered by W acting like the W of old slightly. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

SB, no negative effects from the wreck. I have to take the car to a body shop to have them give me the number. I think it's gonna be significant. Thanks for asking.

The conflict I have is logic (she isn't coming back and any nice behavior from her is b/c she wants to feel better or just get along until D is finished) v. emotion (she is acting nicely, so maybe this might be a sign). So far, logic is winning.

I will be polite, but continue to show strength in my discussions and actions. I will get things moving for the D - first step would seem to sit down with her and talk about what D will look like - financial aspect, custody, etc. Not doing this to get a reaction from her. It is the only option I see at this point.

[Greek]

I will be polite, but continue to show strength in my discussions and actions. I will get things moving for the D - first step would seem to sit down with her and talk about what D will look like - financial aspect, custody, etc. Not doing this to get a reaction from her. It is the only option I see at this point.

Talk with her BEFORE you file? For consensus? Don't forget the 'v' (GIMA v GIMA's W).

Greek

[C-Bart]

Glad to hear that you had no ill effects from the accident.

When are you sitting down with her? Do you have an idea of what a D will look like yourself? Think it would be good if you had a starting point for custody, support, etc. before you sit down.

[givingitmyall]

Greek, the thought is to reach as many agreements as possible v. lawyering up off the bat, which means WAY more expense. Also, I suspect what she thinks hte D will look like v. what I will agree to are two, very different, things. It's an opportunity to bring more reality her way. I'm listening if you feel strongly otherwise.

C-Bart, I do think I have to get MY ducks in a row before I sit down with her.

[Gardener]

gima,

I will be polite, but continue to show strength in my discussions and actions. I will get things moving for the D - first step would seem to sit down with her and talk about what D will look like - financial aspect, custody, etc. Not doing this to get a reaction from her. It is the only option I see at this point.

I know you're a lawyer, but it seems to me that first step should be your sitting down with a lawyer, not W (unless you've already done so and I missed/forgot it).