K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

You Can't. Don't Try.

I know. I just feel very frusturated. I have to just put it out of my mind and enjoy Christmas eve and Christmas day with my girls. This guy and W have a lot of nerve. I will give them that.

Kevin

[antlers]

Kevin, this is a pisser of a situation. But you can't do anything about it. Not being able to do anything about it doesn't mean that you approve of it. She doesn't care what you think about it man! I'm on your side. But this isn't a battle that you can win...it isn't even a boundry that you can enforce. You can let her know how you feel about it...but that's just for you. If you do let her know how you feel about it, she's just gonna say some crap to you that'll hurt you more. Keep being the best Kevin that you can, and love your girls...that's all you can do...and it is the ONLY thing that you have any control over at all regarding your situation. Again, I'm on your side.

[C-Bart]

. They don't need other men coming in and out of their life especially knowing their mom is married.

<sigh>

Kevin

You're not trying to set a boundary. You are trying to control the situation.

Your Girls see you as divorced already. At that age once you were separated you were divorced. Think about why your daughter came to you. Ask her if you have to. My guess is she is scared and is looking for strength from you. Focus on that. Be the strong man she needs to see as a role model. Start by apologizing for talking about her mother in a negative way. Be honest we her so she can trust you and realize that not all men are going to come and go out of her life.

Kevin, this is a crappy thing your wife is doing. You can't control it but you can still make a positive impact on your little girls.

Have a safe and merry Christmas.

[Startingover2]

No its soooo not right, but like everyone said you can't do much about it. If the guy is sleeping in her bed with the girls there I would definately speak up, but if she acts like they are friends in front of them you can't say much. But even if they are more and having wild sex (ewwww) with the girls home legally the courts don't care. Its so sad, but true!

[CityGirl]

Focus on the things you can control.

You. The joy YOU can bring to your children. Your meeting on Monday. All things for YOU and the children. Right now that is what needs to matter most to you.

No more <sighing>. Make it all about you.

[K4D]

I plan on sitting down D12 to talk to her about last night and fix that. She was actually talking about it excitedly. I know W has been building this guy up to them.

C-Bart,

My girls know the difference between S and D. They know we are not D'd and they know that W being involved with anyone is not appropriate. But as far as they know, this is just a "good friend". I see what my W is trying to do. She is trying to work him in from the friendship level first. This is thought out on her part and being put into action.

It doesn't look like W will be coming to midnight mass with us tonight as she said she doesn't think she will have time to make it. I let D7 know since D7 had really wanted her to come. Apparently W is going to some other service with a lady friend of hers and her lady friends younger sister.

Per her idea, we were supposed to talk last night and sync up on presents for the kids and she never called.

Last night her and her family went out to do their annual family Christmas dinner and her mom tried to invite the girls to which I said no. I have given them up enough this month. As I stated, the invite was not extended to me. Yet I am somehow supposed to believe there is a change of heart from W's mom which is why I am being invited tomorrow for Christmas. I truly don't buy it. Tomorrow is nothing more than her way of getting the girls over there. W said everyone drew names and is getting one gift for whoever that name is you drew. I got W's sister. I got her a gift. I asked Mel, are we expected to bring a gift for everyone. Mel said no and said that was the whole point of drawing names. But W is already buying gifts for everyone and I know that they have been also. So this is going to be me showing up with the one gift for SIL and of course gifts for the kids and me looking like a complete fool through this. I actually wasted time making 2 batches of fudge last night to take over there.

I so don't even want to go over there. I'd rather just do our Christmas morning and send W and the girls on their way to W's mom's house with SIL's present. Let them have their own Christmas and I will just go do something else.

I truly hate Christmas. It has no meaning for me personally anymore. I could do without the day and "celebrations". I could do without the whole season.

I actually thought about ending all contact with W and filing for D this morning and having her served today. That is how angry I was with the latest developments. I am so tired of this. Wouldn't that be something. A processor shows up at her door on Christmas Eve with D papers. Merry Christmas. Hope you like your gift.

That really is not the Christmas spirit though is it. The Christmas spirit is love and joy and rememberence of Christ.

W just IM'd me and asked if I was working a full day today. I didn't bother to respond. I don't feel like talking to her.

I will be working on changing my thoughts to focusing on my blessings and kids today and tomorrow and being grateful for those as well as getting ready for my Monday morning meeting.

Well, to each and all, thank you for the support and help and may each of you have a very blessed and better Merry Christmas.

Kevin

[K4D]

No snow yet, but the news says it is coming. That would be awesome to have a white Christmas.

Kevin

[Coach]

Merry Christmas Kevin.

Cheers

[K4D]

Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

I really need to live by that quote Coach.

Merry Christmas to you as well and may it be blessed.

Kevin

[K4D]

It's snowing now. Awesome.

Kevin