K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

So much for caring what she thinks .....

Kevin, I hate to say it but you remind me of someone else who used to be on this board. Says all the right DB things to everyone else but can't embrace the concepts themselves. Until you can walk the talk, you're going to be hopelessly stuck.

I wish you well. I really do.

I'm outta here.

I am embracing it my friend. My life is improving. It will be going places. The ball is rolling.

I get my kids tonight and for the rest of next week except Tuesday night when W will have them. I am looking forward to it. We are making tonight a scrabble night with crackers, cheese and sodas and a bit of ice cream. It should be fun.

The tree is up. I just need to tweak it a bit. I think Tuesday night I will wrap presents and put them under the tree. I have a bit of shopping left to do this weekend. I think we will go see some lights and go to some festive things. I am going to make a fun weekend out of it with my girls.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

25,

I don't see anything on your financial seminar out there online. I decided to do a quick google search. However, wow, I am utterly amazed and wonder if there isn't anything you don't do or haven't done. Your accomplishments are amazing.

I don't know whether to feel privelaged that you have spent time posting to me or feel stupid for being in your presence and being discovered by you as a case that truly needs fixing.

I appreciate your postings and insight.

Kevin

I don't give them online and don't want you looking me up. Thanks.
This is an anonymous site for a reason.
J-

[K4D]

I don't give them online and don't want you looking me up. Thanks.
This is an anonymous site for a reason.
J-

Sorry 25. Not a problem. I should have used better judgement. Just wasn't thinking. I was just interested in seeing what your financial seminar covered.

Kevin

[K4D]

I did have to call W today to discuss child care for the next 2 weeks since the girls are out of school. That went fine. I think we have that set up now.

So begins the final week heading into Christmas.

Kevin

[jon2911]

Kev,
All right, I'm sticking with your thread. It's a beating but there are a lot of great suggestions here.

I second the Dave Ramsey for financial, and Allen's GTD for organizing. For Men Only was great for me, need to check out the Nuts book.

I'm a huge fan of the 12 steps. Writing out a personal inventory and making things right with those people is the heart of it. Your coping mechanism really doesn't matter. Mine was porn and Internet. (BTW, just from how much you post here, you might want to research Internet addiction ). I go to Celebrate Recovery which is a Christian version and meets in churches. Can't recommend it enough.

Hang in there man, Merry Christmas!

[jon2911]

I think part of that problem comes from the fact that it's possible to come to this forum without knowing who MWD is or having read her books.

True, but she also has:
http://www.divorcebusting.wordpress.com
http://www.twitter.com/divorcebusting
and the articles on here, which everyone can get for free. I don't see much excuse for not at least knowing the principles and letting them guide the discussion somewhat.

Not dogging on you though man, your advice is very good and I'd appreciate it on my thread.

[TrentC]

and the articles on here, which everyone can get for free. I don't see much excuse for not at least knowing the principles and letting them guide the discussion somewhat.

Yeah, but those are just generally excerpts from the books: reading the book as a whole can provide more context.

And most people don't necessarily know about the articles, they hit the forum and ask the same questions that are answered in the books.

I'm not saying it's bad or wrong to not read the books first, only that it would help a great deal.

[Startingover2]

I think I got the books and then found the site. Been awhile though. The books were helpful.

[TulsaTime]

Kev,

Wanted to throw my financial opinion in. You should probably look into some local or more inexpensive ways to show your girls a good time. I know it's tempting to want to do something grand, especially during these tough times but you need a nest egg.

Another option would be to borrow from your 401K. That way you would be paying any interest back to yourself.

Also check out GodSaveMyMarriage.org and read through the 2x4's there.

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=TulsaTime]Kev,

Wanted to throw my financial opinion in. You should probably look into some local or more inexpensive ways to show your girls a good time. I know it's tempting to want to do something grand, especially during these tough times but you need a nest egg.

Another option would be to borrow from your 401K. That way you would be paying any interest back to yourself.
NO he would not pay "interest" on his money. He'd pay taxes on the 401k withdrawal, AND He'd pay a penalty. AND IF he were to repay his "self loan" back into the 401k, - which he does not plan to do as far as I know- then he would again pay taxes on his later withdrawals....SO first off he's paying taxes on his withdrawal at probably an effective tax rate of 15-25% in his case, PLUS the penalty he never gets back, &if & when he withdraws it years later, he AGAIN pays taxes on it. Twice the taxes and a penalty...this is why borrowing from a 401k is such a big no no. The exceptions (that only avoid a penalty-but still charge the taxes twice on withdrawals) are for home buying and medical costs, last I checked. I KNOW they don't make an exception for holidays or paying off other credit card debt.

He could borrow without penalty from A ROTH IRA and b/c it's purchased with after tax dollars, there's no tax on a withdrawal and the withdrawal rules are more flexible too. Why? b/c Wealthier folks don't get to have ROTH IRAs. For those who qualify, a ROTH is a very good start. Only a 401k with matching contributions from your employer makes sense if you can't do both, and most people in the income level who can get a ROTH, believe they don't make enough to do both, so they have to choose....so I typically recommend paying into the 401k only to the extent your company matches, since it's free money but take any available funds left and put them into a ROTH. I do not say this for K4 though b/c he's the type to borrow from his retirement[/b]...hence my opinion that he do the ROTH and then if he has extra, fund a 401k or save for a home...The ROTH is paid for with after tax money so his withdrawals, (which I pray he won't make), cost him NO penalty and NO taxes..If your company does NOT make a contribution, forget the 401k until AFTER you fund a ROTH. That is not unusual advice; it's pretty standard. (See Suze Orman for her advice--it's the same)
Lately a few in Congress have made some rumblings about taxing 401ks NOW to get revenue. I don't think it'll pass but it gives me pause that they are even thinking of it...

K4, a If you want a basic "easy to read" introduction to all this, and you don't know the financial world's jargon, read "[b]The Wealthy Barber" b/c it's told in a story format...or read Personal Finance for Dummies...and go from there. It's very empowering and it's adult to know these things. If I had read them when I was 24, we would likely be retired now. Try search engines or sites such as money.com, smartmoney.com, schwabb.com, vanguard.com to compare the advantages of the retirement vehicles allowed.

Are you familiar with compound growth/ interest? Einstein called it the 8th wonder of the world. When you read up on it, look up "Compound Interest/Growth" and "the rule of 72" for predictions of how fast your money would grow at a given growth rate.

For instance if someone were to leave your d's $10,000 as, say a graduation "gift" (Hey, it could happen!), and they added NOTHING to it, never touched it but invested it in a good diversified mutual fund (not under the mattress) that grows at the same rate the stock market has, over time, in the past 135 years--when they're ready to retire in their late 60's, without saving or adding ANY OTHER MONEY to the original $10k, they'd have over a million bucks.

So let's keep it simple and say it's $10k growing OVER TIME to equate to annual growth of 10%....what do you think it equates to in say 50 years?

Due to the rule of 72, @10%growth, it doubles every 7.2 years...So $10k at age 18 = $20k@ 25, and $40k@age32, $80k@age39, $160k/age46
$320k@age 53, then $640k@61 and @69 y/o, it doubles to over a million...($1,280,000.00$......) And imagine if they were ever to save for an IRA as well....how much faster they'd be rich and that would not take a big life style change for most couples. You start with a $10k bonus/gift, and then leave it alone but also do a ROTH IRA of maybe $400 monthly and you start before you're 30...yeah, we'd all be rich sooner.


If you hate financial jargon, and want to read an easy "Story format" about money, then read "The Wealthy Barber", or "Personal Finance for Dummies" which are both books I read first.
It's vitally important for ALL of us to know this info and it's empowering for those left behind without the same resources our WAS might have...to manage our money wisely.

3 types of income....ordinary earned income--you gotta be there WORKING/PRODUCING to get the money--hardest kind of income, & most common.

Passive income--like interest on bonds, or rental income on property--homes or apartments or commercial real estate--pays you even when you do nothing b/c you already bought it and now someone pays you money....(and hopefully it exceeds the mortage and IS income)...It's Money you can earn laying in bed...maybe buying a fixer upper and renting it out, another idea.

Royalty Income from written pieces, or songs, film residuals, etc. every time it shows/plays, you get a residual. So you don't have to be working THAT day. You could be on vacation and get a check for a re-run or another publication of your book...or software design...for instance....

To retire, simply put, Our goal is to replace ordinary earned income requiring our labor, with the other kinds, or you'll always be working...get it? Make sense?


More later, but wanted to correct the misperception that you'd "pay yourself interest"...by borrowing from your 401k.
Sorry for the Essay on Personal Finance, 101. I know it can be boring but being financially independent IS NOT BORING...and it IS the grown up thing to be.
j-