I have, and I will continue to. I do feel sorry for her. I know underneath that armor is a hurting wounded person. If I had realized that five years ago, I don't think I'd be here right now.
I am a silent lurker on your thead. Just wanted to pop in and say great job today.
Two weeks ago my H had mentioned setting up a session with a mediator, but haven't heard anything since. I suspect H is waiting until after the holidays. I may need your advice later in preparing for that.
Mo3
Motherof3-
Thanks! I've had five mediation sessions now, so I know how they go, and I've definitely gotten better dealing with them. Drop in and let me know if I can help. I'll look for your thread and read it over to familiarize myself. This whole "wait until after the holidays" crap makes me mad. That's why I insisted on scheduling mediation now, while my W wanted to wait until January.
Feel free to offer your commentary. You'll notice that I'm kind of hard-headed and set on my path... Me and my maniacal ways. I've been planning this for a while. I know what needs to be done and am doing it. How it turns out is up to me.
I was busy writing the status update... so let me return to it.
Hi Future, you are doing so well, her- not so much! I hope that she can own her screw ups, but if not, that cant be your problem. Im proud of how far you have come, and Im so glad that you are looking forward to the future.
I have gotten to the point where I am excited to move forward, to start over and have a chance to have a new life.
Yes, your future is still unknown, but its going to be great, no matter what happens.
bluerain, it's so awesome you've stayed around. You've been with me since almost the beginning, and it means a lot to me. I do keep up with your thread, and I can see how well you've moved on. You're still young. A whole new life awaits you.
Yeah, I don't know if my W will ever really own what's she's done. I thought she was getting better, but the alien has really come back with a vengence! I do still love her, but at this point, I have to see something real and consistent before I'll budge an inch.
I do feel pretty good about my future, but it is still unknown. I'm glad I gave myself that name, since it's open ended, instead of something dreary, like "futuresad" or "futurealone" or some such dreck!
I like how you stayed firm, even though you didn't get what you completely wanted. i am shocked at how she thought she was 'allowing' the children 50/50 custody. And, a M is never done until the judge says it is. I believe, even being separated and invested emotionally in another person, is an A. But, that's just me.
You are doing awesome.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BeingMe, you've also been with me here for a long time. Thanks.
She pulled that custody thing because she knows it'll get my attention. She was feeling bullied by me and she wanted to try to assert her power. I didn't back down, but it did work to some degree. She instilled a bit of fear in me that she'll try to take the kids.
I also agree that our M will not be over for quite a while yet. I just re-read your very first post to me, and you said how it wasn't until you declared you were done, and started living your life just for you, that your H came around. I've started down that path. We'll see where it goes.
My W's A started long before we were separated. She's trying to wiggle out of being labeled a cheater, which I've never called her. I've only used the word affair a few times in total, but that's definitely what it was.
My H, to this day, says the same thing. Since he felt in his own mind (before he informed me of course) that we were separated and I would be on board with the marriage ending then he did not cheat. He went as far as to try and use this defense in court. LOL!
He reminds me all the time that he is not a cheater. I just say "ok".
Well, if my H gave me 80 million (or whatever figure it was) I might be wiling to overlook a few "transgressions"
My H is hardcore golfer and a huge fan of the sport in general. I always thought Tiger was *something* more than what he presented himself as. I guess my intuition was not that far off base!
I wanted to ask him what he thought of Tiger now. Sicko.
