Trusting, Except insofar as it concerns your kids, it does not really matter.
Well, I take that back. It does matter in the sense that you see a certain fulfillment of the situation, perhaps a closure.
But in some ways, I think it would pain me even more because X still chose that situation over me. With that said, I have no idea what he is up to and am trying to wean myself away from caring.
Cagz, I agree w/Snodderly--you are not being stupid. I hope you are able to do something nice for yourself. I am going to do some adult things over the holidays--clubs and such, which I cannot do w/little D.
I believe I will be more rested and hopefully have energy to pursue a new job.
It is a hard time for many people, let alone to have the added complications of divorce, sigh.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
trusting - your x is ahead of mine on the timeline... wonder if my x will ever "show" the physical aspects. i know physically he wears it (is ill often) but that is really nothing new to him.. he was sickly when we were married.
ur x must be going nuts.. and they are so stinkin stubborn!! Good grief!! too stubborn to get help.. that is something i will NEVER ever understand.. I never have understood that. If you hurt/if you are sick... GET HELP!!
just strange to me.
midlife/aging/raising kids/ letting go of our older kids... it is all so much to handle some days.
hugs to you!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Forward, I don't think they choose their situation over us. I think that they believe a fantasy and when they actually pursue this fantasy they realize, "oops this is not what I wanted". By then it is too late and their pride stops them from returning to their families or they are so entrenched with other woman and her life.
The Ml'ers emotions supercede their logic, they simply don't think.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
absolutely true. 100% in my case. And then by the time they decide it's not so fun on the flip side then their spouse may have endured so much pain and damage that the relationship is no way salvagable. Now, some lbs are far santlier than I am, and that's not the case with them. : )
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I think they become a little mentally ill along the way they have a hard time seeing reality for what it is they lie so much , they believe their lies There is no way out, maybe until the light hits at the end of the tunnel for some never maybe the ow staying or leaving has to do with it maybe not how weird is it that they dont want us to know their address shame?
I loved that book the script at the end when someone was planning on leaving the wife, the other man who was already left wife and remarried told him try to work it out that said it all peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I agree about the mentally ill part, mine looks mentally ill. He has even dyed his hair red.... weird
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, my H died his hair red at one point too (it has been several different strange shades). I don't know about the keeping their location a secret. Maybe a control thing? My H still lives at home, but he has kept the most inane things a secret (or so he thinks, so much information just falls into my lap if I just sit and wait). With him, my guess is he is trying to maintain that "control" over his life and that feeling that he is single and free again without having to answer to anyone but who knows.
